Getting Out but Feeling Broken

Such great news I was waiting to share but I just can't wait any longer...

Brian's been deemed medically ready for rehab! We learned that over the weekend but weren't sure if there was space, so I was waiting to be sure before I shared the news.

God provided an immediate room for Brian & he'll move to the rehab center as soon as the insurance does the prototypical approval of the treatment. I would expect that to mean he could be out of there as soon as this evening but no later than mid-week. Once he's set up, I'll let you all know where would be the best place to send him personal well wishes & cards.

My dad took the night shift last night & Brian actually seems to be dropping some of the out of character nocturnal fondness he'd recently developed in favor of getting some sleep (Though, I don't know, his girlfriend is from Columbia & seems to have brought some of that out of him. ;). My dad said he did really well considering all the fluid he continues to rid from his lungs through a painful, frequent cough. That's what typically what wakes him up.

He had some more visitors today--my aunt, uncle, & cousin have been helping my parents with taking part in the 24/7 shifts now, in addition to everything else they continue to provide for our family. Even family of friends from Raleigh drove up to help today too.

He's still eating okay & they had him sit up for awhile again today but he's really not digging it. He doesn't say much & when he does it's evident that he's starting to become aware of the severity of the situation & loss of his legs, though he doesn't want to be. He's pretty frustrated & standoffish right now. What compounds the situation is the fact that all of this is manifest in the shock involved in recovering from such a level of trauma & the fog from all the whack medications they give him for pain & agitation.

It's hard. In my stupid little head I had it be so much more black & white. He'd be in ICU, he'd snap to, & they'd move him to rehab. It's so much grayer than that. He's becoming aware of things but he's still too medicated to know what he's thinking & he's not really into talking much at all. How do you support someone in this situation??

Jamie's post on 1/1 is a good one to look back to for guidance but it's still hard. I don't know how to best support him really other than to do it. I know many of you are getting back into the swing of things following holiday time off but if you can find time to come out & support Brian, now's the time to do it. Please don't take the disclaimer about how he's feeling to mean the contrary. My dad pointed out that so many of Brian's friends say that some of his greatest qualities are his ability to listen & convey ongoing support (Interestingly enough, nothing that has anything to do with his also amazing physical abilities). Now is the time that he could use the same from all of us.

I can also say, knowing one day that Brian will read this, that his recovery isn't just for him. It's for so many others. He's touched so many lives & God is giving him this opportunity to touch so many more & show His Goodness & His Glory. Statistics obviously mean nothing in his situation, leading one to conclude that any comfort or answers found in them are false.

We have to continue to have faith that God will continue to provide defiance of the odds for Brian. We also have to continue to praise Him, taking comfort in all He continues to provide for Brian & for us as a family as we try to adjust. Every step of the way God has been faithful, has blessed him with better than expected outcomes, & given us more support than we'd ever have dreamed. We have to take comfort in Our Savior because He shows us that statistics aren't where the true answers lie.

Myra & I visited Horizon Christian Fellowship in Charlotte yesterday & the message was so personally touching. Pastor Terry told of the story so many of us have heard in Mark 6:30 where Jesus makes five loaves (of barely bread that only poor people would eat) & two fish (the sardine, salted kind again that only poor people ate) into enough food to feed 5,000, maybe even more. What have never occurred until I heard his teaching was how the people were fed. Jesus didn't give them the broken food, He gave it to the disciples to give the hungry & tired followers. The broken food is more than symbolic of His sacrifice for us, it's also symbolic of how when we've been broken, He can work through us to share His Love with others that much more. We have to see the Glory through Brian's current feelings of brokenness & the potential he has to reach out & touch others that much more in his recovery.

Please continue to let Brian know how much he's reaching out to you, how much his feeling broken is inspiring you to believe in him & the God who heals him.