Brian Keeter's Recovery

December Update from Brian

2012-01-15T14:21:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone good holiday and 2012 is off to a good start. I went back to Raleigh for Christmas and stopped in Charlotte on the way to and from Atlanta. It was great catching up with friends and family in both places. I really miss the fact that the drive from Charlotte to Raleigh was a quick 2.5 hr ride and the drive from Atlanta sucks being 6 hours! I made sure I got to stay a few nights and see everybody because I am not exactly sure when I will be back.

The family and I had a good time with some dinners, church and some gifts, mostly for the kids. It is always fun to watch them open gifts and how excited they get. It is always good to go home and see people but I would probably say this is the most I ever did not want to leave. That is really saying something because I have always been someone who likes to be where their stuff is located. I like my TV, my bed, my remote, my shower etc. I have always been like that but it has gotten even more that way since my accident. That is a large in part with regard to how I have to worry about accessibility also. I miss the days where I could go anywhere without thinking about things like that and even the floor was good enough for me for sleep. For those reasons I spent most of my time in a hotel that is only made possible by my friend, Trevor, helping me out with the rate--I owe him big time for that. He has done it for me countless times.

This time, even as I was leaving my parents house to head back to Atlanta, my dog, Rocco, jumped into the back seat like he wanted to go. That is something he has never done before and made me feel bad since I am not sure when I will be back. I miss him and I think I apologize to him all time since this is not what I promised him when I got him my last year at NC State. For those who do not know Rocco, he is a Rottweiler/German Shepherd mix I rescued when he was 3 months old. I was supposed to have a fenced in yard for him at this point. I am very fortunate that he has been taken in by my parents, who love dogs and have a fenced in yard and a couple of lady friend dogs for him to mingle with.

I am getting used to my new schedule with both working and therapy. The first few weeks it wore me out pretty badly but I am getting used to it and for the most part enjoying my work. I was hoping to have the stim unit I mentioned last time I blogged but as expected it has been a little delayed. Again, this stim unit is intended for people who have injuries down at the lower part of the spinal cord, the roots, where it branches out and takes signals to your lower muscles. Although it is not available yet in the US it has been labeled as beneficial by some of the best US spinal cord injury doctors. They claim over time it can restore muscles. I believe it will at least make my skinny legs a little better and hope that it does help restore the strength of my muscle control.

Although it is condoned by the research folks at the Shepherd Center, it was up to my dad and me to figure out the financing to make it happen. I guess like as it is with a lot of things, funding is something tight for everyone these days. My dad and me took the time to write a proposal to the company conveying what we were trying to do and asking for any help we could get from the company discounting the item, since I would pretty much be a case study for them here in the US. I am fortunate that my dad has experience in writing things like this so between both of our words and his formatting I think we put something together that was pretty well put together. It was shown and supported by the folks at Shepherd but it was totally up to us to submit it. I thought it made sense for them to do this to give the proposal more credibility but I guess it is just a scientist thing. They did allow us to include their contact info on the proposal we sent.

Unfortunately, it took a few weeks for us to hear back from them, but we did end up getting a small discount of a couple of thousand dollars off the device. It will be here in a month, being shipped from the Netherlands, but it is another week or so before the updated version will be ready and it also has to clear customs. The fact that I am now working at a company that handles international shipping may help speed this process up or at least prevent it from slowing down. It is a shame that it is so difficult to get something here that could really help so many people out. I have read many articles saying how the slow process of FDA approval with all the red tape is putting the US behind in the medical industry.

My dad and I also look forward to doing what we can to help this device become available to others that need help. We have actually been encouraged by one of the top Spinal Cord Research Doctors to go after this and make it happen. We are planning on starting with war veterans since a good amount of them come home with spinal cord injuries like mine. I have had so many people help me out that I look forward to helping others. I will keep you updated on that and hope to have the stim up and going here in a few weeks.

November Update

2011-12-02T10:30:00.001-08:00

I am still in Atlanta doing the rehab thing--sowly getting stronger, I had some catching up to do since I missed six months with the leg fracture. The biggest thing I have been working on is trying to get this E-Stim unit, the stimulette den2x that came out about six months ago in Europe. Since it is not yet FDA approved, it has not been easy to try to get but with the persistence of my dad and me, the wheels have finally begun to turn and I hope to finally begin using it before the end of the year.

My spinal cord injury is at the bottom of the cord where it branches off as the signals are sent to muscles in your lower body. When it comes to recovery it is actually a more complicated to be injured at that level. The E-stim in the US is not strong enough to benefit my type of injury. The stimulette den2x is much stronger but it is really the unique special electrodes they designed that allow you to use such a strong current without damaging or burning your skin. I came across it in May and read all about it. The device was based on a ten year study in six different countries in 20 different rehab facilities. The study went on to say that it not only builds muscle but even RESTORES muscles. In the study, all the participants did was stim the quads for six months and a good number of people were able to stand independently in parallel bars for help with balance.
So after discovering this device, I knew I had to have it so I contacted the company that developed it and they told me that not only did it cost $8K but it also required a prescription from a US doctor or them signing off on supervising my use of it. So I quickly made an appointment with my doctor at Shepherd and asked him to sign off on it. Unfortunately, due to liability issues, he said no.

I moved here for therapy and also to be at what most people would call the most progressive research facility in the country so I decided to roll myself up to the research floor and talk to them about it. I did this for weeks and eventually got a meeting with the Director of Research and he was actually very receptive to the idea. When I left we decided we were going to work towards doing a pilot study with the device and me as the lone participant. They just wanted to do their due diligence and make sure it was safe and worth doing. Unfortunately they are moving super slowly on this which has driven me crazy since they say the sooner you start using the device the quicker and better the results. I have been checking in once or twice each week and trying to balance being persistent with not being annoying. I also asked my Dad to pressure them, since he can speak about science and research a little more fluidly then I. Despite our efforts I may still have to end up paying for the device for the study but I am trying to get the developers to give it to us for free or at cost since it is for research and may help open the US market for them.

This device has probably the most potential of anything I have done since my accident and I actually expect more results then they had in the study since they only stimmed the quads and I will stim the gluts hams and calves as well. I also recently had EMG testing done by the research staff in anticipation of a possible research study. The testing showed I have voluntary activation in my gluts, my quads (esp on the right), and even my right calf. So, I am a little ahead of the people in the trial. In theory over time the device could restore all the muscles I have some activation. I also will be combining the other weekly therapy with the stim so what might that lead to? I would expect even more gains.  Like I said I will hopefully I will start this before the end of the year!

Well, as I mentioned in my last post I had quietly been looking at the possibility of returning to work and I am proud to say I started working last week. I am working at a domestic and international freight shipping company Team Worldwide. I will be doing six months of training to learn the business, starting with support and inside sales work. I am a little nervous because sitting in this chair is just painful, so doing it for so many hours a day will not be fun but it will be good to get back to working and there is a lot of room for growth with the company. This is also a bit of a relief to find work since I was worried about explaining the two and a half year gap in my resume. They also are working around my therapy schedule which is very important. I have to just thank my friend, Chris, for helping make this happen. He has been in sales at the company for two to three years. Not only did he help me with this but if you remember, I lived with him and his family for about four months when I started therapy in Atlanta earlier this year. I do not know how I will ever repay him! I am going all in on this job so if you or anyone you know have any international or domestic shipping needs, please let me know. We are good at what we do!

I have had to tweak my schedule a bit and also make a few decisions on how best to utilize my time for therapy. My weekday schedule is now pretty much like this:
Wake up 6 AM
Shepherd Therapy 8-11AM
Work 1-8 PM
Home Therapy 9-11 PM

I have added short video of the Wave Machine below, which is another routine I do regularly at Shepherd. While performing squats, calf raises and other basic exercises, thevibration created by the machine produces a shaking movement in your legs.About 15 minutes of vibration exercise produces results similar to thoseachieved through one hour of conventional resistance training. Moreover, the therapy increases bone density and muscle tone, while reducing musclespasms.

I have been wanting to show more clips of me in therapy but a lot of it is repetitive. For example, I use the Lokomat (robotic assisted treadmill walking) three times a week. One of the concepts we work with is muscle memory, so the repetitive activities work within that strengthening that.

Hopefully next month I will be able to share that I have started the new muscle stim and am making some great gains.

October Update

2011-10-30T16:56:00.000-07:00

Recently a friend sent me a message one morning and I since my response took a few hours he replied back, “How many hours can you play XBOX?,” sort of implying I have a lot of free time. First off, let me clear the record by saying that I have always been a PlayStation guy. Second, I can say I do stay pretty busy. This razzing gave me the idea to maybe share a little bit about my typical weekday schedule here in Atlanta:

6:45 AM: Wake Up/Eat/Shower and Dress-I was never a big breakfast eater but since I am trying to repair my body I usually do eat some cereal, an orange or apple and consume 35 g of protein between a protein bar and drinking a Boost.

9-11 AM: Therapy at Shepherd with staff-Activities like the Lokomat, crawling, spin bike and other stuff to work my core and move to try and further activate my legs.

12PM: Lunch- usually I just eat at Shepherd. The food is just okay but they do have a great salad bar.

1-4 PM: Pool workout by myself-I was never a big water person but I have grown to enjoy the water since it is the only time I am not in a bed, wheelchair or some other piece of equipment. I usually spend the first few minutes just floating and decompressing. I spend the final 90 minutes in the corner of the deep end where I follow a routine of ad & abducting my legs, trying to pull my knee to chest and other various leg movements. Like I have said before the buoyancy really helps me move them a good bit. I usually wear a great and only $9.95 waterproof watch I got at Walmart to help me thru my routine.

5-6:30 PM: Floor Exercises-I usually sit on a Bosu ball on the floor, use a medicine ball, weighted bar, and resistance bands to do a lot of core work.

6:30- 8PM: Stim Calves or Tibs/Dinner- I alternate which muscle I stim for 90 minutes a day. I can pretty much do anything while I stim, from making and eating dinner to just watching TV. I try to focus on pushing my foot down or up depending on what muscle I am stimming.

7-9:30PM- Stand in Standing Frame- While I stand I have electric stim on my gluts and quadriceps and try to engage them as much as possible as I stand.

11PM: Bed

*The stim I refer to above and have in other posts is Electrical Muscular Stimulation. It is a device that generates electrical impulses to elicit muscle contractions through electrodes placed on the skin. This device can build up and strengthen muscles in your body and for people with paralysis the hope is that strengthening the muscle will also help strengthen the signals sent from the brain to control the muscle. I have been using this type of device religiously for over a year and a half but unfortunately the type of injury I have requires a more intense stim not yet approved by the FDA for use in the US. The stim I have been using is only limiting the muscle atrophy that I have gone thru as a result of the injury. To have a better chance of strengthening the muscle signals I need a stronger impulse like the one in the European Stim I have been working really hard to bring to the United States.*

This is pretty much what I do everyday of the week, minus the pool on Monday since the water is cold. On the weekends I do sleep a tad later but still do my floor exercises and increase the time I use the standing frame. Other then maybe going to a friend's or my cousin's to watch football on the weekend and church on Sunday at Passion City, this is what I have been doing since I moved to Atlanta.

October also marks a fairly significant month for me and not just because I turn yet another year old. After my accident, my family and I agreed to devote the majority of the first two years to rehab. October 29th marked the two-year point since I have been out of complete or partial bedrest from the long hospital stay and secondary issues at home. I also now have to factor in the unexpected five to six months my leg fracture cost, but soon it may be time for some change.

Quietly, I have been looking into the possibility of either getting back to work or getting some training or schooling that would help put me in a better position when that time comes. There are a few opportunities that may drastically change my days in the coming weeks. I am still working on the Shepherd doctors to help me finalize getting that European stim unit I mentioned above. I have been assured that it should happen but it is taking a lot longer then I would like and I admit it is VERY frustrating since it could possibly be the best tool I have used since the accident.

So, between the possible opportunities and getting the stim unit, my schedule may change dramatically to be much busier. My devotion to get better physically will not really change, but I will be trying to use my time more efficiently and mixing it up with things that may help me other aspects of life, especially on a long term basis.

There you have it--a day in the life!

September Update

2011-09-29T12:21:00.000-07:00

Andrew & Myra's Wedding Sept 2011

I FINALLY get to relay some pretty good news! It has been about five months since I have had much good to say on the recovery front. I have finally gotten back into therapy, just a week or so ago. After a recent check up with my orthopedic surgeon, we decided that I was ready to start therapy and gradually increase my hours as long as the leg holds up. Though I may be a little limited it does feel good to get back to it. I have been very frustrated and I was starting to feel pretty weak physically. I feel like I have a lot catching up to do to get me back to where I was before my leg fracture. The plan is to work back up to nine hours a week with a trainer in addition to doing my own stuff at home and in the pool. If I could afford it and if they would allow me, I would work with a trainer four to five hours a day everyday, it makes such a difference.

I actually just made my first trip back to Raleigh since I moved to Atlanta for my sister Myra's wedding. I did not enjoy the six hour car ride and it made me appreciate how easy it was to get back to Raleigh when I lived in Charlotte. Despite the long drive overall it was actually a pretty good time despite having to put on a suit and wheel down an aisle. It was strange but good to see my tomboyish sister in a wedding dress. We all think she married a good guy and I enjoyed meeting his family for the first time. I also really enjoyed taking my nephew, Owen, to the Lego Store before I left on Sunday. It was not just that I love Legos but I enjoyed watching Owen pick out his belated 4th birthday present, since I missed his party in August. He loves his Legos and dominates sets meant for kids 2-3 times his age.

In therapy or not, my family & I, especially my dad, have been fighting so many battles since my accident. Battles with insurance companies, hospitals, vendors, and doctors--amongst others. It can be very exhausting at times and I cannot say we have won them all but we have done about as well as anyone can. You will hear people say that every SCI (spinal cord injury) is different. As time goes on I have found that the lower your injury is, the more limited you are in recovery options and treatments. I have a low injury at the T11 level, which would lead you to believe the lower the better--but this is not true in the world of SCI. I have what is called a LMN (lower motor neuron) injury, which is more damage to the roots at the the bottom of the spinal cord. In some ways it is very similar to the neurological issues that come with Lou Gehrig's disease. A LMN injury leads to flaccid muscles and atrophy, which is why I have such skinny legs and weigh maybe 25-30 lbs from what I did before my accident. This makes me sit on bone all day, which does not feel good and makes all my shorts not fit as they should.

The most frustrating part of a LMN injury is the exclusion I have from most of the research studies going on. Other then therapy, research was one of the main reasons it makes sense to be at the Shepherd Center in Atlanta. Currently they have nine research studies and I qualify for zero because my injury is too low. I cannot tell you how frustrating this is for me on a daily basis! I see the people in these studies daily and see the FREE therapy that they receive. One study in particular drives me crazy. It is pretty much the same nine hours of therapy a week that I do, except I think they wear heart monitors and I pay $96/hr!!!! This study is a six month study, which would save someone like me $21,000. That would take a lot of financial concern and pressure of my family and me, but the bottom line is I just do not meet the requirements.

A few months ago I became aware of a stim device designed specifically for my type of injury. I was excited when I saw this as I read comments from prominent US research doctors that the device could maintain and even RESTORE paralyzed muscles. Unfortunately, the device is not available in the USA and not approved by the FDA. The device is made in Austria and available in Europe. After communicating with the developers of the device, they said I could get it if I got one of my doctors to sign off on it. So I quickly scheduled an appointment to ask my SCI doctor at Shepherd. Despite providing him with 30 pages of documented research and data that was done over a decade and in six different countries at 20 different Rehab Facilities that showed the benefits, I was told no. The reason behind the No from him and any other doctor is concerns over liability, which I have mixed understanding about. The no was not an answer I wanted to accept so I decided to wheel myself up to the research people at Shepherd. After dropping by unannounced a few times to plead my case, I actually got a meeting with the two doctors that head up research. I was pleasantly surprised how receptive they were to my hopes. We left the meeting with the hopes of doing my own small research trial with me using the device that we hope will benefit myself and eventually others. We just have to work out some logistics and a few other details and get things up and running. This has probably been one of the most encouraging developments I've had in my therapy and road to recovery to quite some time.

Like I said at the beginning of this post, I feel like I am due for some good. I have had to deal with a lot of complications from my SCI that a lot of people do not. Only a low percentage of people get SCI injuries. Along with my SCI has come heterotopic ossification, which only 15-20% of SCI injuries get. I have dealt with an unexplained leg fracture, which I had to have surgery on after it not healing. My surgeon told me that 95% of bones heal, so I guess I am in that special 5% minority also. I have to try not to focus on these things and remind myself how I am one of the minority of SCI victims that have had the support from family and friends like all of you to be at places like Shepherd and pay for all these things, since they are not cheap. So I am looking at getting back to therapy and taking steps to getting the stim unit as the beginning of good things to come over the next few months.

Overdue Update from Brian

2011-08-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

Screws holding plate (pictured below) from broken femur surgery.

Plate will remain permanently in my leg.

I have updated this a little less often then usual because admittedly I have not had much going on or much positive to say. Things have kinda been on hold dealing with the fracture of my leg and moving. Shortly after the golf event, I officially moved to Atlanta. I have been here for a little over a month and have settled in fairly nicely. I had some much appreciated help from friends and family loading up in Charlotte and unloading in Atlanta. My mother and my soon to be brother-in-law, Andrew, came down for a few days to help me get settled, I definitely have mixed feelings about this move. It is definitely the best place I can be to help me with my recovery goals but I will miss some friends and family from Charlotte and it puts me even further away from all of my immediate family in Raleigh.

Like I said and as most people know I have been dealing with an injury to my left leg. Earlier this year while I was temporarily in Atlanta for therapy I somehow managed to fracture the femur in my left leg. The femur is the large bone that runs from your hip to your knee. This recent injury has been super frustrating as it put an absolute hold on things in Atlanta and also since no one is exactly sure how it happened. I did not fall or do anything that would have been an obvious likely cause of the fracture. Just one night after therapy my leg started to swell and throb a little bit and I hoped and figured it would just go away but a day later it was still the same. I tried to hide it and continue to therapy but they noticed the swelling and made me go to ER where I heard the bad news. The X-rays showed a fracture and surprisingly it showed another fracture near this one that had healed, which I never knew about. I did take a lot of damage on the left side of my body and all we can conclude is that that side is weaker and more susceptible to further problems.

For about 3.5 months I have worn a brace on my left leg and have not been allowed to bear any weight on that leg. This has stopped all of my therapy and even physical activities in general. I have spent most of my time either laying down or sitting in the wheelchair just trying to stay off of it. I have been able to feel my body just getting weaker and weaker, especially my core and the strength and movement I have slowly been strengthening in my hip flexors and parts of my legs. Its funny in my world not being able to workout actually equals physical pain, my body just aches and aches all over.

Shortly after getting back to Atlanta I went to see my Ortho Doctor to check on how things were healing. While the new X-rays showed it was healing, it was not healing fast or strong enough and it would probably be another 3-4 months before it would be healed. My doctor, knowing how frustrated I was, decided to have me see a specialist that could perform a surgery that could get me back to bearing weight a couple of days after it. This definitely appealed to me and I went and saw this Doctor ASAP. After discussing the procedure with him and talking things over with a few people I decided that having the surgery was the thing to do.

So about 2 weeks ago I was put to sleep and had my leg opened and had to stay the night in the hospital. I hated being in a hospital bed again, it does not bring up the best memories and I have spent enough time in hospitals to last a few lifetimes. The surgery actually took my own bone marrow and injected it into the fracture and they also put a rod and screws as well as a plate in my leg to straighten and stabilize the fracture. I woke up with stitches and sutures in 3 incisions in my leg but was able to leave the hospital after one night. My father came down for a few days to help me with things and make sure I did not have any complications from the surgery. I left the hospital the next day and was cleared to actually partially bear weight the next day!

I just had my 2 week follow up and so far everything looks good. They took out the stitches and sutures and the X-rays showed all the hardware was in place correctly and the healing has been accelerated. It was a little crazy to see what I know have inside my body. They also cleared me to fully bear weight and get back into the pool and in another 3-4 weeks I should be 100% cleared to get back into the Beyond Therapy program at the Shepherd Center here in Atlanta. Hopefully things will continue to heal and stay on track for me to get back to work on my body. I am trying to be patient and not get too frustrated with the setbacks I have had. I wish I could of gotten this surgery a few months ago but I am sure the insurance companies would not approve this until you gave it time to heal in a less costly manner, which is frustrating but I have learned to be the norm in this health care industry.

2nd Annual Hope to Walk Photos!

2011-06-05T17:45:00.000-07:00

There are a ton of absolutely amazing pictures (So many action shots, team pictures, captured moments & artistic shots!) done by the lovely, super-talented Renee Sprink. They are all available for viewing & free downloading on her website.

Just click on Client Galleries & look for the Hope to Walk/Brian Keeter gallery. Clicking on the download icon above the individual picture will deliver a huge, beautiful jpeg ready for printing immediately to you!

Thank you so much, Renee!

May Update from Brian

2011-05-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

It has been a pretty busy last few weeks. After about 3 ½ months in Atlanta, I moved my stuff out of my friend Chris's house and came back to Charlotte. Most people know the last 30 days or so of my time in Atlanta I did not get to do much due to the fracture I sustained in my left leg. This was definitely frustrating because I was getting stronger in the therapy that I was doing and it put a halt to everything. The good new is that my fracture is healing. The swelling is going down and the throbbing has calmed down. I think it will probably be another 30 days before I am cleared to get back to bearing weight.

Overall I had a good time in Atlanta, not only with some productive therapy but just in general. I really enjoyed my time with Chris and his wife Dana and had fun getting to know their 18 month old son, Graham. Not only was it good to be around his family, I also actually did more there then I ever did at home in Charlotte. We went to the Georgia Aquarium, which was pretty amazing and I also went to a number of Atlanta Braves baseball games. I may not the biggest baseball fan but I had a good time going and got to always take Chris, who loves baseball, and some others on several occasions. I also got to see some other old friends I have in that part of the country and also became friends with a lot of the staff and other people I met at Shepherd.

While I was there I actually decided that it would make sense for me to move to Atlanta full time. The Shepherd Center is probably the best place in the country I can be for therapy and also a place where you are more likely to learn about or even get involved in emerging therapies and upcoming trials. I am moving there because recovery is still my top priority but it is also my hope to take on some part time work and even looking into some potential career training while I have some time. I am scheduled to move into an apartment in Buckhead by the middle of June. While I am excited about the move it is a little further away then I would like to be from my family and friends in Raleigh. At this time it does make sense for my goals.

A few weeks ago also brought about the time for the second annual Hope To Walk Classic in Raleigh. The fund-raising activities were great and I had a good time. While nobody probably ever knows how to feel and act when you have so many people doing so much for you, I can say that this year I was mostly just looking forward to it. We had an unbelievable turn out and I do not know how to thank everybody involved. Once again, Dave McGee did another amazing job organizing the event and my sisters and parents showed great support as well. Those couple of days serve as a great reminder how lucky I am despite facing some tough circumstances. Not only is there a need for the financial help I have received, but it also serves as motivation on some of the tougher days to be motivated and stick with things.

I hope to be moved to Atlanta by the middle of June and be cleared from the fracture to restart therapy and see what kind of progress I can make at the Shepherd Center. I am excited and hopeful about the future and I cannot thank each and everyone of you enough. Without your time, your efforts, your donations, and your support, in no way would the progress I've made and the progress I'm hopeful is to come ever be possible.

Thank You All!

2011-05-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to thank & update everyone who participated in the many ways, shapes, & forms of fund raising & support events we had for Brian!

The golf tournament, once again, was a wonderful time & huge success. Read a great article highlighting the event here...We love you Dave & everyone else who volunteered, donated auction items, & provided all the awesome food & drinks for everyone who came out.

The events surrounding the golf tournament also went well.

The Saturday bake sale was HUGE & all said & done raised almost $600 for Brian. We've also started to garner repeat customers in addition to a lot of new business--I had a couple folks come out to buy items who said they came because of how good the items were from last year!

Bowling at the Alley was fun--my two kids literally bowled till they dropped. It was great seeing so many supportive bowlers come out!

Again, we just cannot thank you all enough--there are so many individuals, businesses, & more to mention!

Please look for a post from Brian in the near future giving a little more detailed recap of the events & giving you all an update on where he is headed from here.

Can't wait to see you all again next year!

Don't Forget!

2011-05-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!

Just a reminder that we are having a HUGE bake sale as part of the Kingsland Woods neighborhood-wide yard sale tomorrow morning.

Kingsland Woods is a small subdivision off of Leesville Road in NW Raleigh.

There are tons of cakes, breads, pies, muffins, brownies, bars, cookies, & more--even made from scratch cinnamon rolls! Really!

Please come out & buy some goodies for Brian & thanks so much to all of you who contributed your baking expertise & time this year!

Therapies: TRX

2011-05-10T19:45:00.000-07:00

I am taking some of the free time I have with my broken leg to reflect on some of the therapies I have been doing at Shepherd and deciding along with the staff what I want to prioritize once the fracture in my left leg heals...so I thought I would share some of those therapies and equipment I use with you here in the meantime.

One piece of equipment I really have enjoyed using is the TRX. The TRX is a portable muscle sculpting and strength building tool that can be used to workout your entire body. Some of you may remember the video of me doing some atomic push ups--where I start in a push up and as I come up I try to pull my knees to chest, which really works the core and for my injury, helps try to activate the muscles in my legs.

I have used the TRX quite a few times at Shepherd. I use it mainly to work my core and try to help me activate the paralyzed limbs I am trying to overcome. For someone injured like myself, we modify some of the exercises and I need a little more help getting set up and into the TRX, depending on which exercise I am doing. There are so many more exercises I can do that I plan on recording and posting more video of, along with some of the other therapies I am using, once I get over the leg fracture which has me frustratingly sidelined for now.

The TRX was not designed specifically for spinal cord injury therapy but how much I benefit from its strengthening shows how versatile a piece of training equipment it is. The TRX website shows you a ton of exercises that you can do on your own and the best is all you need is a door or any other sturdy anchor point to temporarily hook it on to get going. In fact, my sister and her husband love it and use it regularly as part of their fitness. Kara wouldn't leave me alone about it once she saw the video.

So, again, here's another example of the training & therapy I have been doing to regain function in my legs. I'll try to get some more posts up about the other stuff I do over the next couple of weeks as well.

Help Brian by Eating Pizza!

2011-05-04T11:24:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that all day Monday, May 9th & Tuesday, May10th, Ruckus Pizza in Cary is donating 15% of all purchases (lunch, dinner, dine-in, & take out) to benefit Brian.

All you need to do is show up with a printed copy of the pictured flier & have some yummy food! They also have some great daily drink & lunch specials.

Please share this with your friends!

UPDATE: We just had lunch there today--it was WONDERFUL seeing some great friends & support out for Brian! Not to mention--the food was yummy, very reasonably priced, & we found Ruckus to be a very friendly & clean place to eat--which really helps when you have two crazy toddlers who like to run around, roll on the floor, & eat, repeat process. Being able to play a few rounds of corn hole while waiting didn't hurt either! Thanks again to Ruckus & to all of you who came out for lunch today...for those who haven't--please print a flier & check it out!

Bake Sale/Yard Sale to Benefit Brian

2011-04-21T12:46:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone:

Just wanted to let you know that in addition to the May 16th Hope to Walk Classic & the May 15th Bowling for Brian, we will also be having the bake sale for him once again this year.

The bake sale is a part of my neighborhood yard sale, which is (gasp) Saturday, May 14th...so it's going to be a busy weekend!

If any of you are in the Cary/Raleigh area, like to bake, & are interested in participating, please send an email to bkrecover@gmail.com.

We also are considering taking any donated items to be a part of the yard sale, with proceeds to benefit Brian as well, but have very limited space & means to store them prior to the sale.

Thanks for your interest & support!

Sincerely,
Kara (one of Brian's three [poor guy, I know] sisters)

Set Back

2011-04-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, I have hit a setback here in Atlanta. A couple of weekends ago my left knee was swollen and throbbing. Like usual I assumed it was not a big deal and figured it would just go away. Unfortunately it was still about the same Monday morning as I went to therapy at Shepherd and since I knew I could not hide the swelled appearance I brought it up to the therapist and after 9 hours of fun in ER I learned I had broken the femur in my left leg. How this happened I have no idea. I did not fall or or have a moment of extreme stress on my leg that I remember. After follow up with an orthopedist I got confirmation of the fracture and also learned I had a previous fracture located near the new one that I never knew about that but had already healed. I did take more of a beating in my accident on the left side so maybe it is a little more susceptible to injury.

All I know is that I am not allowed to put any weight on it for 30 days and that it will probably take 3-4 months to heal, I am wearing a pretty big brace on my left leg to stabilize it. As if my mobility was not challenged enough I guess I decided to add a fractured leg to the mix (see lovely picture below). So, right now I am just trying to collect my thoughts and figure out what to do in terms of rehabbing my newly fractured leg and getting back to my recovery efforts. I knew that this journey is and full of ups and down but this is definitely frustrating. I would say that most people with spinal cord injuries have some secondary issues and I know that I continue to have more then my fair share but I will get through it.

Thanks again for all your interest and support.

March Update from Brian

2011-04-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

I am here in my second month in Atlanta and I am just trying to stick with it everyday and trying to do my best. I always heard and read how Shepherd was just an amazing place and it is good to be here right now. The staff are all really nice and helpful and try to push me as much as they can. I am really trying not to get impatient with the slow progress but it is hard. The stuff I see at this hospital on a weekly basis just takes you through an array of emotions. One day I will meet a guy here all the way from Australia who has been here for over a year and tells me he could not even lift up his arms before he was in this program. Next, I met a guy in the elevator who's tells me his wife is here and has been a coma for over 60 days. We ran into each other a few days later and exchanged stories and even blogs. The way he spoke about his wife was tough. It was not just his words but his tone and the hurt in his eyes. You could tell his wife is just his world and he would just be so lost without her. She had an unexplained stroke and they do not know when and if she will wake up and if she does what function she may or may not lose. I did not know how to even react or what to even say to him, all I could do was wish him the best and tell him I would pray for her to recover.

I have definitely seen that tragedy like this does not care about your race, gender, age, or social status. I see all types of people here suffering from various neurological disorders, some that cannot do much for themselves. It is tough knowing the people I see are someone's grandparent, parent, child or sibling. I will never understand why some of these things happen to these people. One of the worst stories I have heard here is about a girl I met whom a few years ago was paralyzed from the chest down. She was just at home laying in her driveway trying to get some sun and fell asleep and her father did not see her as he arrived home and ran over her. I cannot imagine the guilt her father must carry. So many people working hard and just wanting to be as close to normal as possible. I do not know what I can do but I wish I could just fix everyone. As hard as it to consider myself lucky sometimes, here I do get constant reminders of how my injury could be far worse and I could not be making any progress at all like so many others.

The Shepherd Center is often the stop for many people soon after their accidents. So the care they receive may be just trying to save their life and get them over the initial trauma. This is your more typical insurance covered care. I am in the program true to its name, Beyond Therapy. I am here because I want to and expect to get better and have all of your support to allow me this opportunity. Many of you have already seen or been sent stuff about the second annual golf charity event in May that I am so fortunate to receive. This year it has been expanded a bit with a bowling event the night before the golf tournament. Since I started my recovery attempt on October, 29 2009, I get constant reminders of how fortunate I am and there is not a bigger reminder then this event that shows me in some ways just how lucky I am to have the support to even take advantage of some of these opportunities. Last year I was just overwhelmed by it all but this year I can honestly say I am looking forward to it.

I have been a little slack with taking some video but I have tried to include some of the work I do here in Atlanta. You will see me doing s ome core work and some more biking and some crawling.

Brian: February Update

2011-02-26T18:09:00.000-08:00

I have been at the Shepherd Center in Atlanta for about a month. I was stressing about finding an economical place to stay and got really lucky to be staying with my friend Chris and his wife Dana. I was hesitant to take them up on the offer since it was not just for a few days but after they insisted, even telling me not to be stupid and they were glad to help. It has really been a blessing and cut my fixed cost down from $6,000 to $4,500 a month. It has been fun and I hope they have not gotten tired of me yet and if they have, they hide it very well.

I went down to Atlanta not knowing if the house was accessible even though Chris sent me plenty of pics and I bought a portable ramp for $250 to get in and out of the house. After arriving we realized the ramp was a little too steep, though the folks I ordered it from told me I would be okay. We managed the first few days and after finding out that going up in ramp size just a couple of feet brought the cost to about $1000 (No idea how they justify that), Chris enrolled his father to come build one. He selflessly drove two hours to get here and spent the whole day putting together an amazing ramp. I do not know how I will ever repay or thank any of them. Just a few more reminders that I have some amazing friends and a great support system and I do not know what I would do without it.

The first two weeks at Shepherd was a lot of testing and evaluations. They needed to find out what I could do and what are my strengths and weaknesses. After the initial evaluations they learned that I had full use and strength of all my abs, some use of my gluts, and some flickers of life in my quads and tibialis anterior (the muscle you use to point your foot towards your head) When I began this recovery journey I had some slight use of my lower abs and nothing below it. I am most excited about the flickers in my quads. I had similar feelings before the activation of my gluts came back and if I could get those quads fully firing that would be huge. I have also again been told that I am very strong and that they are able to do things with me that they do not typically do with others. This is due to my strong core and upper body. I have been told this every place I have been and it is great but it gets a little frustrating because I am so focused on my legs and have a hard time understanding why they are taking so long to come back. I mean I know the “medical” reasons and I guess it is the severity of my injury but I have fully expected them to get better since I awoke in the hospital.

I knew going into this that the gains would be slow and small. I have also learned that the nature of the game is often you plateau for long periods of little visible results. I have been plateauing for a while and feel like I am due for something good. I have kind of expected something to happen during my time in Atlanta. I am trying very carefully not to put too much pressure into it but I figured the combo of timing and doing things I have not done before would lead to something.

I am at Shepherd every day other than Sunday, since they are closed. I am there from about 10 am to 6 pm everyday. I have three days of mandatory workouts which include the pool, lokomat and other activities with staff. The other days I do my own thing, ranging from standing in the standing frame to lifting weights, to riding various exercise bikes and starting my own sessions of pool exercises. I am trying to make the best of the therapy time I do have here in Atlanta.

I will take some more video but I wanted to include some of me on the Locomat. It is a very expensive machine and there are only under thirty of them in the entire US. I am hopeful that a few months of using it will benefit me in some ways.

January 2011 Update from Brian

2011-01-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a good time over the holidays. I spent a couple of nights in Raleigh with my family. It was a good trip & definitely better than last Christmas. I was in a lot better & stronger physical shape than the Christmas before. These days our Christmas revolves around my niece & nephew. It is so much fun watching how excited they get over the gifts & visitors. For the first time, I got to watch my nephew, Owen, ride his bike. It was unbelievable to watch him pedal as fast as he could on a bike without any training wheels & just regular pedals. He is amazing! He is only 3 years old & has been able to ride for months. I think you need to see it to believe it so here is Owen biking...

I am typing this update as I am stuck inside due to the snow in Charlotte. I have always hated the cold & disliked the snow. I stayed in Raleigh over Christmas an extra day due to the snow & ice. I wish it was 85 degrees or warmer. I have always disliked snow but even more so these days, once you throw a wheelchair into the equation. Pushing through snow & ice is not easy & it also makes keeping the floors & carpets clean more challenging. I put snow right up there with rain & stairs as Wheelchair Brian's top enemies. I hope it warms up quickly!

I am finally leaving January 23rd for a three month stay in Atlanta for therapy at the Shepherd Center. Like I have said before, I am excited & nervous about this trip. I am excited because I have been on the waiting list for over a year and a half and it is supposed to be one of the best facilities in the country. They also have a few types of therapies I have not had access to in the past. I am nervous because this is by far the largest financial investment made in my recovery attempts. I do expect some great stuff to come out of my time in Atlanta but I am trying to be careful and not build it up too much & set myself up for disappointment. I plan on updating everyone with some videos of my experience at Shepherd.

I do not get much into New Years Resolutions but I am hoping that 2011 is a big year of improvement for me and that I make great strides in recovery.

Thanks, as always, for all of your ongoing interest & support. The additional financial help I received over the holidays also goes a long way to helping me on this journey.

Be a Part of "$14 on the 14th"

2010-12-13T04:43:00.000-08:00

For those of you like me (Kara), who still aren't on Facebook...I wanted to let you know something Leah & Doug are doing for Brian over on Causes this week. Here's a summary of what they sent out:

As some of you may know, this Tuesday, December 14th marks the two-year point of the near-fatal accident. In a show of support and specifically to help offset some of the expense of Brian's upcoming Shepherd visit, we're making this Tuesday, December 14th "$14 on the 14th." Please consider making a donation of $14 to NTAF on Tuesday (though any amount helps!) to make December 14th a day of encouragement & looking ahead for him rather than one of discouragement & looking behind.

I think this is such a neat idea! Thanks so much to those of you who have already made a show of support in this.

So, for those of you that haven't, please consider donating tomorrow, or anytime this week, in a rally of support for Brian know as "$14 on the 14th!"

(Also, in case you missed it, please be sure to check out the video on Brian's last post. It's the most exciting mark of his progress yet. Can't wait to see what God will do for him at Shepherd in January!)

Brian: December Update & Video

2010-12-11T03:41:00.000-08:00

This month marks the two year date since my accident. My accident occurred early in the morning on December 14th of 2008. I was putting some appointments in my phone for the month of December the other day and noticed that I had the 14th labeled as “Day I Ruined Life.” I believe I set that reminder a few days before this date last year. I know that sounds bad but in reality I actually do not put a whole lot of emphasis on this date. I do not remember much about that day, which is common with traumatic accidents like mine. I may think and reflect on things a little more on that day but that is about it.

Really though, it is just amazing how so much has changed in my life for now since my accident. It changes how I drive, how I get gas, how I bring in groceries, check the mail and, well, pretty much just everything. Sometimes I cannot help but wonder where things would be with friendships, relationships, employment and many other things I had or did pre-accident. While the majority of this stuff is negative I can say that it has changed me some for the better. I think I have become more compassionate and have become more appreciative of the good things I do have in life. The help and support I have received also has given me a desire to really want to help others. I have even thought if I can just get back on my feet how much going through this has taught me many things.

In the hospital following the accident, I vaguely remember my father and me agreeing to give two years to try to devote 100% of our efforts to my physical recovery. Like I have said before, I often remind myself that it was not until October 25, 2009 when I was out of the hospital and finally over secondary issues that prevented me from starting recovery attempts, this two-year date of recovery efforts begins.

I do remember one of the doctors telling me before I left the hospital that an injury like mine gave me only a 5% chance of ever recovering to walk again. I admit this was tough to hear and to this day I will never understand why some in the medical field are so quick to tell SCI patients that, as a lot of times it seems to make people think that recovery is not possible to the point they don't even explore the current therapy options available.

I really have wondered why most of the staff at the hospital tried to get me to just accept and embrace life in a wheelchair. I thought, what good does that do anyone? I understand not giving people unrealistic expectations but why put a quantitative value on it, like 5%? I remember even thinking that night about what the doctor said and I immediately was able to make that 5% number jump up. I thought to how I was much younger then a lot of the other SCI patients in the hospital wing, how my physical shape before the accident played in my favor, and that my background in athletics would help in my efforts. I also can be pretty confident in some things regardless of what others may say. I tried quickly and my best to refuse to believe this statistic. As time has gone by, however, it has become clear that the biggest advantage I have in this fight is the financial support I have been blessed to receive. I had no idea how expensive recovery efforts are and without the financial support of my father and so many of you, I would not have much of a chance. As always, thank you.

In some ways, I am surprised and disappointed that I am not further along in my recovery. Admittedly, part of that is probably because I have some unrealistic expectations and I am just used to my body being able to do most things easily. I remember when the only physical things I used to worry about were jumping higher or running faster, not simply being able to stand up or take a few steps.

And although recovery is very slow, already I have made gains that have and would surprise most of my original doctors and therapists. The classification of my injury has even changed for the better and current treating physicians and therapists do expect me to continue making further gains. So, I have to continue to remain patient, stick with it, and see what I can do with things.

I start therapy at the Shepherd Center in Atlanta the third week of January. Most of the things you read about Shepherd describe it as such a great and amazing place. I am excited about starting there but pretty nervous about it as well--nervous because I have been waiting a long time to start and it is, by far, the most expensive thing I have done. The funds we have built up have started to dwindle and my stay in Atlanta will really deplete this hard. I hope my time there is worth it.

Along those lines, I have attached another video of therapy I have done in Charlotte. I like this video because it shows me doing something that appears pretty normal, riding an exercise/spin bike. I will say that the resistance is really low and the pedaling is initiated by my hip flexors but some people may be surprised by what I can do...

Brian: November Update & Videos

2010-11-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

October was a pretty significant month. I completed another two week therapy session in Baltimore at Kennedy Krieger. Also, October 25th marked a year since I was finally able to overcome secondary issues and beginning trying recovery therapies in an attempt to regain as much as I can. I remember talking to my father in the hospital and agreeing to devote as much of the first two years as we could to trying to recover what I could and then reassessing things. While the end of the year will make my actual accident two years ago, that October 25th date is the date we go by since it took that long to get out of the hospital and overcome being basically near bed ridden in Charlotte in my apartment.

I spent the first couple of weeks of October in Baltimore and I would say the trip was a success. This time both my parents went the entire time, which was a little scary, but I survived two weeks in a 900 sq ft condo with them and I think we actually had a pretty good time. It was another two weeks of therapy where we reassessed things and tweaked some of my at-home program since I was last there in June. The first day I had an exam from the doctor that officially showed that I am making progress. Without getting to technical (ASIA-scale), I'd say the test showed that my level of 100% normal sensations and motor function had dropped a level and that I do have some signals crossing the injured area of my spinal cord, which was not the case back when I was there in June (I was considered at ASIA-A, complete after leaving CMC, I am now considered at ASIA-C, incomplete). Obviously, the signals crossing right now are scarce and weak but they are definitely present. This is actually a pretty big deal and the doctors fully expect me to make more gains--but how much and how quickly is TBD.

As usual I try not to get too high or low about anything but this was good to hear. It shows me that the things I have been able to do are paying off. In some medical terminology, they would say my injury has gone from complete to incomplete, which they say only happens in 10-15% of people, for which I was very thankful to hear.

It was also good to see the progress, which has kind of reinvigorated me in some ways. It has also made me think if I can work harder what may else be able to happen? A guy I met there who is an ex-college athlete and has been at this a year or two more than me recently had an exam that showed he gained five levels of sensation and motor function, which is just amazing news. I'm hopeful, as my initial injury level was even lower than his, so if I could gain five levels that would be huge for my recovery. It has made me stop and think that maybe I can gain just as much, if not more, as I continue to work harder.

I posted a few clips of things I do up there, namely some pool therapy and brace walking. The pool therapy is nice because the buoyancy really makes it easier to move things. The pool floor is a treadmill and in the video you will see us trying to duplicate the natural motion of walking the best that we can. I can initiate most of the movement and the therapists help me keep the movement to as close to walking as we can. In the brace walking you will see that the braces keep my legs very straight and most of the movement is from my hip flexor which is a lot stronger on my right side.

The updated status and progress on my injury has been a blessing and it has been good to see that things are paying off. I'm feeling really motivated to even turn it up a notch and encouraged that it also may be opening the doors for to some different types of therapy that appear very effective but limited to people with an incomplete injury status, like I just found out I have become.
Again, I cannot thank you all enough for your support. I promise you that I am working hard and making all the efforts I can in order to take advantage of the therapies that your generosity has helped provide. This has been such an encouraging month that the hard work in therapy has been paying off.

Brian: October Update

2010-10-02T18:26:00.001-07:00

Like I said in my last update I am getting ready to head back up to Baltimore for another 2 weeks of therapy. It will be interesting to see what progress I have made since I left and what adjustments and new things they want to try. I will be there 10/3-10/16. I am not quite as excited as the first time going but I am looking forward to seeing what they say and getting to work. Also I will get to see Shawn/Javaar Sanders (was a close friend since middle school but became more like a brother and son to my family) and meet his newborn son.

Recently Kara posted a video of stuff I had done at Race To Walk and I told her that video was maybe six months old and I know I have made progress since then. I have heard from a few people that came away impressed with the video. I think I have a hard time associating and calling my small gains progress but I know it is, although it may be SLOW and subtle. Just last week I did a full sit up and we hadn’t tried one In a while but I know I could not do that six months ago and try to remind myself that I could not feel or move anything below my belly button less than a year and a half ago. I still kind of only see progress as something more significant and that shows clear movement leading to getting me out of this chair I hate so so much.

I have actually decided to try to take some video of the things I will do in Baltimore and Atlanta and at some point show some updated footage from Race To Walk. I guess I want to show people that I am making some progress and also show the many people that have graciously donated to help me afford some of the opportunities and recovery efforts they have helped me be able to do. Understand that I have never owned a camera in my life, I really never liked being in pictures and I am terrible with the on command smile. I have only a few pics I keep of family, especially my good looking niece and nephew and a few of my good looking dog, Rocco. I also have a few that I say I keep as proof to show that I have been able to trick a couple of beautiful girls to hang out me on occasion. Since I felt this way about pictures before my accident I am sure you can just imagine how much I don’t want to see myself now.

That phobia aside, I hope to have some footage to post in the next few weeks. I want to thank all the people who continue to read this blog and even email me or call me to check in once in a while. It really means a lot to me and does help to keep me going some tough times.

August Update from Brian

2010-09-13T12:08:00.001-07:00

Wow time is just flying by these days, which I guess it does once you get older but after getting out of the hospital and getting over being near bed ridden in October of 2009 it has almost kicked into another gear in my world. I think it is because I have some self imposed deadlines/goals for where I want to be physically as I continue doing what I can to recover. I swear summer just started but we are pretty much getting into fall. The best thing about fall by far is the start of football season! Of course I will watch my teams, NC State and the Washington Redskins, but it is just football in general I am excited about. I really can watch pretty much any college or NFL game and for years football has been my favorite sport to watch. I do want my teams to do well but years of following them with very limited success have conditioned me to not have much in the way of expectations. I definitely miss going to games, I went to a decent amount of NCSU games growing up and some when I was there in school and after graduating my father and I had season tickets but I have not been since my accident. People tried to get me to consider going last year but I did not and I will maybe consider it this year but I know it will not be the same and in some ways that will just make me mad.

The biggest news is that one of my younger twin sisters, Myra, is now engaged! It just happened over Labor Day weekend and I do not think it has really set in yet but I have seen her wearing the ring. I am happy for her and Andrew (not to be confused with Leah’s Andrew) but I cannot help but laugh a little bit since in some ways I still view her as my tomboy little sister I nicknamed Pete, which friends and I at times called her up until probably a few years ago. I remember her being in middle school and wanting to play me in basketball in the backyard. We would play a game maybe to 11 and I would let her take a commanding lead 9-0 before I would always mount a “magical” comeback and win the game. The whole family is really happy for her and really like Andrew and can really tell she is happy with things these days.

I've got a pretty busy rest of the year. I am headed back to Kennedy Krieger in Baltimore for couple of weeks at the beginning of October and finally will be at the Shepherd Center in Atlanta starting the first week of December. I am not sure how long I will be in Atlanta but there is a minimum of one month and you can stay as long as you are making progress and can pay for the therapy. Rarely do I talk about the cost of things but I continue to just be amazed and frustrated with health care costs in general and in particular the cost of care and attempted recovery attempts with a spinal cord injury. I think I have a part time job in talking to my provider. We have had to and continue to fight them on a lot of things. I was self insured before my accident and remember how annoying it was to pay them every month since I NEVER used it or saw doctors. Though they are annoying on many things, sadly I can say I am more than getting my money’s worth these days. One of the best examples of how crazy this stuff is how when I received my lovely wheelchair I had to sign for the receipt of it and the paper showed it as a cost of $7000! (Thankfully insurance paid for most of it). It is hollow metal tubing and some wheels, how that cost can be justified is funny, that is the cost of a half decent used car. Like I have mentioned before, most traditional /insurance covered rehab just teaches you how to "adapt and function" from a wheelchair. Though there are techniques and therapies that have been around a couple of decades and there is evidence of people regaining significant function with techniques used by places like the Shepherd Center, the majority of these things are not covered by any type of insurance. The activities in Atlanta alone will cost about $850 a week and that does not include any accommodations.

As I am sure you can imagine, I am up and down a lot these days, I have my good moments and a lot of frustrating and tough ones as well. I know that I may not be able to keep going after recovery forever but I cannot imagine what I would be doing and thinking if I did not have these opportunities I have been trying to take advantage of for about the last year. I know that they would not be possible without the support I have received and for that I am blessed and thankful.

Must See Video

2010-08-11T17:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, so in posting Brian's update, I was double checking the links to make sure they remained intact & saw that RTW has a video of Brian in action on his client page. Well, this video was great. Tears in my eyes, great. My brother, near death in December 2008, released from the hospital in March 2009 declared paralyzed at T-11, bedridden for I can't even remember how many months (~~Three? More?~~ Edit: Brian just informed me it was actually seven) from a horrible pressure wound, is actually experiencing some movement in his hip flexors & some muscle contractions/growth in his upper legs.

So, why Brian would never tell any of us much of this (and letting us know about the video?--forget about it) because it is so, so encouraging to see, I just don't know. Wait. I do. It's Brian. Some for better, some for worse, that's just the way he is.

I'm freaking out about this video & call him to tell him how much progress I can't believe he's made & then he proceeds to tell me this video is, like, really old. Like monthS old. So, he's grown (which was evident when we had a great time seeing him this weekend) even more since then.

Which leads me once again to thanking all of you--without your support, your encouragement, your prayers, your donations, who knows if Brian would even be able to have the chance to experience these gains.

July Update from Brian

2010-08-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone is having a good summer and staying out of the heat. Although summer isn’t quite the same these days, I still love the warm weather. Well, I just recently moved from Mooresville and back into Charlotte city limits, it is good to be back since I am closer to family and the few friends I have in Charlotte. I did move to north Charlotte to keep me near Race to Walk, which I still plan on attending 3-4 days a week. As many of you know I moved to Mooresville to be within a couple of miles of Race to Walk and use Iredell County public transportation to get there on a daily basis. I am finishing up getting back to driving which I had to do in order to move back to Charlotte.

I basically had to take drivers ed to get certified in driving with adaptive equipment which was a little weird at first but I got the hang of pretty quickly. There are all types of adaptive equipment and your need is based on the severity of your injury. I pretty much needed the minimum and most basic kind, basically giving me a lever about steering wheel height that is attached to the gas and brakes. I push forward to brake and pull down for the gas. It is kind of weird to be driving without your feet but I got the hang of it enough to pass the test at the DMV. It will be good to get back to controlling my own comings and goings. I think it will allow me to even use my time more efficiently and wisely.

I am just trying to stick with working on recovery every day. I still go to Race to Walk and do some stuff at home every day as well. After leaving Baltimore I have been using a whole lot of electric stimulation on my lower body. I think between the FES bike I ride at Race to Walk and the at home stim unit I have, I probably put about 4-5 hours a day of electric current through my body on a daily basis. I am not sure what it will lead to but in just a few months I have already seen some changes. With the type of injury I have I have had a lot of muscle atrophy in my lower body. I never really liked mirrors or pictures before my accident and absolutely hate them now and am appalled when I see just how skinny my legs have gotten. I weighed myself recently and do not think I have weighed this little since like the 9^th grade, which is not a good thing in my world. The majority of the missing weight is from my lower body but over the last few weeks I have seen it come back, especially on my right side. I do not know what this will lead to but it is good to see some changes.

It is hard to believe how fast time is passing for me these days. Before I know it will be October and I will be back for another couple of weeks in Baltimore. I also have been told that the time is finally coming for me to go to the Beyond Therapy at The Shepherd Center in Atlanta, for a month or two before the end of the year, which I am looking forward to.

(Note from Kara: The attached picture was kindly taken and secretly emailed to us all by our cousin, who helped Brian go pick up his car earlier this week. Thank you, David! Apparently, Brian's first official drive included Charlotte evening rush hour and a deluge rainstorm--baptism by fire as they say, no doubt. He now must be ready to drive cross country! Indeed, he already made a quick little field trip here to Raleigh/Cary today to celebrate Owen's 3rd birthday this morning at Myra's fire station. We really enjoyed having him though I think all of my childless siblings were a little freaked out by some off the toddler shenanigans, I know I certainly am myself, at times. Thanks to all of you as always for your ongoing support! It is because of your help Brian is able to be driving again now--allowing him some much needed and much missed freedom since the accident. I honestly can say this pic captures about the biggest smile I've seen on him since the accident, very close to those he truly has when he thinks no one is looking and he's quietly hanging with one of my kids...)

Brian's May Recap

2010-06-21T13:00:00.000-07:00

First, I want to say thank you to everyone that attended, played, and contributed to the golf event in May. I did not really know what to expect on that day and was truly amazed and touched by the turnout. I got to see a lot of friends and former teammates that I had not seen in quite a while. There also were former players from several decades in attendance, including Chris Corchiani, who made up half of the famed backcourt combo Fire and Ice. I have gotten to know Chris a little bit since he is around Raleigh and owns DNJ Mortgage company after a successful career playing basketball overseas. I recently admitted to Chris that I grew up watching him and Rodney Monroe as my idols and knew early on that I wanted to play at NC State because of them. He ended up sharing my story with his backcourt mate Rodney Monroe, who surprised me with a very thoughtful email.

Another thing that touched me was how many people flew in to play from out of state, which was even more amazing, considering the tournament was on a Wednesday. I know I have thanked Dave McGee, the event organizer, but I still feel like I cannot thank him enough. He really did an amazing job especially considering this was the first time he had ever done an event like this. I even had several people who have played in several charity events like this tell me that the Hope to Walk Classic was one of the smoothest events they have participated in.

The month of May ended up being a pretty busy month for me, which was tiring but nice. I was in Raleigh for the golf event for a few nights and left to go to Baltimore the Sunday after. There, I attended therapy at the International Center for Spinal Cord Injuries for two weeks. The first trip to the center is mostly evaluative and my first day was spent being evaluated and meeting Dr. Recio. From the first five minutes upon meeting him, it was apparent that he and the Krieger Institute have a completely different mindset with spinal cord injuries. I cannot tell you how refreshing it was to be in a place with the sole purpose to help SCI patients recover lost feelings and function. To illustrate his point and their mission, Dr. Recio wrote the type and classification of injury I have on a dry erase board, asking me to make note of this--implying that this classification was not where I was going to stay. The remainder of my time was filled doing various physical therapies to evaluate what I needed to focus on in order to maximize my recovery.

I also met a lot of people during my stay there. Many were people like me, making their first trip to the Center and others who had been coming regularly over the last year or two. The majority of the first timers were from other states and there was even one patient I met who came all the way from the Netherlands to be there for a few weeks! It was so good meeting people that had gained a significant amount of feeling and function back--it is just further evidence and assurance of what can happen and that there is no better place I could be going at this time. There are only a small handful of facilities like this in the world and I'm glad I made the decision to go there.   I also feel so blessed by the support that has allowed me these opportunities.

The daily therapy I was doing mostly consisted of walking with braces, some aqua therapy, and a lot of core work. The therapist was impressed with the level of core strength I already had which I can attribute to months of working out at Race to Walk (Core strength is vital to me getting out of this chair). The aqua therapy and brace walking really highlighted how I have gained some strength in my hip flexors, especially on the right side. The aqua therapy was a little strange at first, since I have not been in the water since my accident, but I ended up enjoying it. I would get in a small pool and the entire floor would move like a treadmill. Along with two therapists I would simulate walking in the pool on the treadmill floor. The water supports a lot of your body weight, so it really highlights things like my hip flexors that may not be strong but are engaged.

One of the biggest reasons I wanted to go to Baltimore was to see if they could help me figure out the use if an FES Bike. This bike attempts to contract your muscles to pedal the bike via electric stimulation. The bike can help you increase circulation and build muscle and even lead to regaining function. I had been riding one regularly at Race To Walk since late October of last year but unfortunately, like other lower SCI patients, I had been labeled unstimmable after attempting it a few times at the hospital in Charlotte and 4-5 days a week at Race To Walk. Since sometimes people become stimmable over time, I knew that if anyone could get the bike to potential benefit me, it would be in Baltimore. One of the days my father was in Baltimore, by chance we actually ran in to Dr. McDonald. He was basically the inventor of this bike and the Director of the International Center for Spinal Cord Injuries in Baltimore. In fact, he was one of Christopher Reeve's doctors for much of his recovery attempt. Reeve actually was one if the first people put on this bike over a decade ago and he actually gained 75% of his sensation back and 30% motor function back over time using this bike as one of his main activities. It was pretty cool meeting Dr. McDonald and for my dad it was as exciting for him as it would have been for for me meeting Michael Jordan when I was in middle school (Though admittedly I do not think as highly of him as a person these days after learning more about him.). Dr. McDonald even hit me on my quad and calves and told me that I am stimmable. The therapist I had tweaked my bike settings and it looks like I may start to truly benefit from using the bike with the adjusted settings, which is really encouraging news.

I left Baltimore and returned to Mooresville with an at-home workout plan which I follow regularly before returning to Baltimore to start additional therapy on October 1^st. I also hope to maybe attend the Shepherd Center in Atlanta before the end of the year. Therapies are still very emergent and so it is beneficial at this stage in the game to try and experience as many different approaches as I can to find what works best for me.

I am trying to stay encouraged, constantly trying to remind myself that I was pretty much bed ridden until October of 2009 and I am only less than a year into my recovery efforts, which again only continue to be possible with the support I have continued to receive.

I am also in the middle of some other transitions in life right now that I hope to have updates on soon.

1st Annual Hope to Walk Classic in Photos

2010-06-16T12:49:00.000-07:00


Golf carts loaded & at the ready for the 1st Annual Hope to Walk Classic.

Hi Everyone!

Renee Sprink has posted the golf tournament pics on her website--please take a moment to check them out.

Not only has she donated her time to photograph the event, she's made all pics available for free downloading too (What a great score for Father's Day for some of us!).

Simply visit her website (www.reneesprinkphotography.com), click on "Galleries" and follow "Hope to Walk Golf Tournament" to the pics.

Also, Brian, now back safely from his therapy trip to Baltimore, says he will be posting an update of how things went soon.

Thanks again to you all for your ongoing prayers, interest, kindness, & support!

Happy viewing & downloading!

Packinsider.com: Brian's Hope to Walk Classic Coverage

2010-05-20T10:54:00.000-07:00

I can't say anything to begin to compare with this wonderful video & the accompanying story.

Thanks so much to all of you & I love you so, so much little brother & thank God for the work He is doing in your life.

Brian's Hope to Walk Classic--GREAT Success!

2010-05-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let you all know that today's golf tournament, the brainchild of the superhero, Dave McGee, (with the help of his many lovely assistants) was such a great success.

The kids and I were able to hang out there for a good three hours today and everything was amazing:

The golf course is really up & coming,
The auction memorabilia & tournament prizes had about anything and everything sports has to offer,
The pro-bono photographer was snapping some great shots,
The food from here & here was so, so good (Owen dropped his goldfish in favor of the real stuff quick once he got a taste of that fried flounder & the pasta was great--we can't wait to go use our goodie bag gift card to check out more of the Ruckus menu), and
The support--of sponsors, volunteers, tournament participants, and an awesome turnout of "Who's Who" in athletics--was so much fun. Everyone was great--it was so nice meeting, seeing, and talking with so many of you.

Oh, how I could go on.

I even hear Brian gave a speech...hating I missed that one (but my husband kindly sent me the action shot below as proof, which I am kindly passing on to all of you).

Anyway, I'm sure we'll have some more posts soon with additional details but for those who may be wondering--it was an awesome event.

Thanks so, so much to all of you who made this amazing fund raising event (Over $25,000 raised to help Brian continue his physical therapy journey!) possible, especially you, Dave!

Brian saying thanks at the NTAF Hope to Walk Classic.

Thank you all so much for what you did today for my brother. Your generosity is overwhelming.

We hope to see you all again next year!

Monthly Update from Brian

2010-05-05T17:53:00.001-07:00

Earlier this year when I decided to try updating this blog on a more regular basis, I wanted to give it my sense of reality on things. I guess it sometimes comes across as mostly negative and that has not been my intention but it is hard sometimes because so much of this stuff is just that way right now.

At times I do try to make myself reflect on everything and do want everyone to know that I realize that despite how much this sucks that I am blessed in many ways. I know there are a lot of people that this happens to who do not have the motivation--and more importantly--the means and support to be proactive about a recovery. Like everyone's family, I think mine is a little crazy, but I know that I am lucky to have a supportive one. I am lucky also to have my father in my corner and though we may not agree on everything and may do some things a little bit differently, he will fight this with me as long as he can and as long as I want to. I have even become closer to my sisters. For the first time since going off to college, I talk to at least one of my three sisters about everyday.

Also, I am very fortunate that a facility such as Race to Walk opened a few months after my accident just 25 miles away from Charlotte. There are only a handful of places like this in the country (For those that do not know, RTW is a nonprofit facility founded by a family who had a horrible boating accident and wanted to do something about it. Rather than uprooting the whole family to go to another facility out of state for therapy, they decided to open up their own.). How Andy, the founder, works his real job and oversees things at RTW is just amazing. I do not think he ever sleeps. I also have to say the staff there is great; they are a positive group and have grown accustom to and tolerate my constant sarcasm on a daily basis. I do not know what I would be doing and where my head would be if I did not have that place to go to during the week.

It is also funny how things work out sometimes. I know I was fortunate that Coach Sendek and his staff thought enough of my abilities to invite me to the NC State basketball program as I was finishing my senior year in high school. My overall experience there with them was a great and real positive one. I have a lot of great memories and made some of my best friends during my years at NC State. When I arrived on campus Fall 1998, I came in with three other freshmen that I got along with really well. Recently, I have reconnected with former teammates, Carl Lentz and Adam Harrington, which has been a really good thing. Carl was actually just recently down here from Virgina Beach and we saw each other for the first time in over nine years. Out of the three of us, I think Adam is the only one doing what I would have bet on when we met years ago. While I roll around in a wheelchair trying not to think about how a third grade girl could beat me up simply by pushing me over (I know, but I do.), he is playing basketball professionally. Carl is currently a pastor at Wave Church. I recently watched Carl do his thing and it was pretty cool to see. He knows the Bible well and incorporates a lot of the personality I remember into sharing its message. I have always wondered what would have happened if we had all stayed together on the team, I am pretty sure we would have stayed really close. I hope we will do a better job of staying connected in the future.

At times I have second guessed my decision to go to NC State over a smaller school, because I loved the game of basketball and wanted to have a larger role. However, I have come to realize that without my experience at NC State, I would not be getting anywhere near the support I am now. Many of the positive emails, encouraging cards, and generous donations I have gotten are from people who may not have known me on a personal level but just knew of me through NC State basketball.

The connection to NC State has also led to the golf tournament being held for me on May 19th in Raleigh. We have gotten such a great response from sponsors and people playing in the event. In fact, we just learned today that the tournament is full! I have also talked to a lot of former teammates that are planning on attending. Although I am still uncomfortable being out and about in the shape that I am in, I do look forward to seeing a lot of the wonderful people I have not seen in awhile.

I also cannot say enough about Dave McGee, who organized this event to benefit my recovery efforts. Office Dave McGee has been around NC State basketball and football for over twenty years. He retired as a Lieutenant in the Wake County Sheriff's Department a few years ago but continues to work with NC State football and basketball while doing some private investigation work as well. I actually did not talk to him that much while I was at NC State but the year after I was done with basketball we started talking since we were going to the same gym and since then have become really close friends. I am thankful that he thinks enough of me to do what he has done for my family and me. Dave is always on the go and involved in a lot of things, with a lovely wife and two BEAUTIFUL daughters (I know firsthand his wife can take the credit for their looks and look out--I hear he does frequently remind boyfriends or boyfriend wannabes that he does have guns.). While his wife gets the credit for the beauty in the family, I have to attribute Dave's ability to do so much to his mustache. I really think its got to be what gives him his power.

Since the accident, I have gotten a lot of really nice letters and emails and continue to get some to this day. When NC State basketball raised money for me at the Red Rally last fall, I got about 60 or so emails from people that just wanted to wish me well and it meant so much that I emailed everyone back and tried to thank them. I even email back and forth with a few of them still today and continue to be amazed at the support. Recently, I received a very nice letter, donation, and Gloria Estefan CD from a wonderful NC State alum in Florida. We have emailed back and forth several times and he mentioned that he and his wife have become close friends of the Estefans through a lot of charity work. He sent me the CD because several years ago, Gloria was in an accident on her tour bus that almost left her paralyzed though she recovered. Some of her songs were written and inspired from her accident. He said he did not expect to change my musical taste but thought it may be worth a listen. Honestly, I did listen to a good bit of it last week with Eliana (Since they are both Latina, I thought it made sense to wait for her to come by before I listened.). I have even spoken with this gentleman on the phone and he has even discussed my situation with her. It is support like this that makes me motivated to stick with things and not give up. Through my own experiences and meeting people with similar injuries and even worse it is good to see that there are a lot of good in people like this individual and I am sure we will continue to communicate about my progress.

One of the more interesting things recently I also wanted to mention was a book sent to me by Adam Shepard. He is a few years younger than me and is from Raleigh. I believe he went to a small school in Massachusetts to play basketball and after graduating he took $25 and a bag of clothes to Charleston, SC and wrote about his 365 days and his search for the American dream. Inside the book's cover, he wrote a really nice note saying we did play pickup basketball against one another one time (I will just take his word on saying I dominated him on the court). Admittedly, I am not a big reader but it sounds like a pretty cool idea and I plan on reading it during my upcoming stay in Baltimore for therapy.

As I have mentioned before one of the toughest times in all of this was being told by one of the doctors that there is a 5% chance that will ever walk again. As time has gone by I have realized that this is pretty much standard thing that they say to everyone with an injury similar to mine. I would like to point out that Dr. Wise Young, one of the leading spinal cord injury researchers in the world, has said that even Asia A spinal cord injuries have a 10-15% chance of walking unassisted (They classify injuries on an Asia scale A-D with A being the worst, which is what I was told I have.). I take his 10-15% and see my percent immediately going up because my injury is lower then some and I am still relatively young in the world of spinal cord injuries. I also know that at the time of my accident, I was in better physical shape than most, I am used to working out, and most importantly I have the ability to be proactive and go after gaining function. Traditional therapy has a mindset of teaching you to adapt and live out of the wheelchair and while regaining function is not a brand new idea, nobody's insurance covers these attempts. Without the support I have gotten from you all, I would have had to give up my efforts months ago. I know that a lot of people in my situation do not have anywhere near these advantages and that is why I can see that despite these difficult circumstances I am blessed and I just cannot thank everyone enough.

May is going to be an exciting month with the golf tourney on the 19th and I start therapy up in Baltimore on the 23rd. I look forward to seeing a lot of people at the golf course and hope to be able to write to let people know about my experience in Baltimore.

Bake Sale for Brian!

2010-04-28T14:56:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd post this in case anyone had plans to be in the area this Saturday...

With the help of many fabulous home bakers, we are holding a bake sale as part of the Saturday Kingsland Woods neighborhood yard sale (7am-1pm).

View Larger Map

ALL proceeds will benefit the tax-deductible, nonprofit medical fund set up for Brian.

We will have many wonderful homemade items, all very reasonably priced, for sale--various individual brownies, cupcakes, cookies, muffins, whole pies, and more. Please come by and treat yourself (for a good cause!) and feel free to pass this along to anyone you might know who would also like to come by.

Thanks in advance for your support--just look for the table with the big NTAF banner!

Another Perspective on the State of Things

2010-04-01T19:15:00.000-07:00

First, thank you so much to those of you already responding and planning to participate, in so many great ways, in the Hope to Walk Classic at the Lonnie Poole Golf Course at NC State! Brian has been very touched (as much as Brian can express that sort of thing, of course) by some of the great happenings already underway for this event.

Though Brian appears to be taking over the blog, I wanted to give you all an update too because I think sometimes Brian can be too hard on himself and his progress, or in his opinion, lack thereof. Moreover, as he was knocked out cold from pretty much December 2008 to March 2009, he doesn't quite measure progress from the same baseline the rest of us do. We've got from near death to closer and closer to regaining mobility as our gauge, I think he's forgotten that almost dead part.

Brian's last post got me thinking about all of this when he recalled the rehab hospital. He's right. That place is pretty rough. I don't think I remember so much what everyone else was going through as we were all pretty much focused on him but it does bring back memories of all the things he was facing then--things that, thankfully, he isn't facing so much now.

A couple Sundays ago we made a last minute minute day trip to Mooresville from Cary after church. We met at Brian's apartment to see my aunt and uncle visiting from Ohio. They were staying in Charlotte with my other aunt and uncle. Since we don't get to see either of the sets (or some cousins who came too!) very often and we hadn't been to see Brian in awhile, we thought it was worth the 2-hours-and-15 minutes-each-way drive. For those of you that have small children--we made the day trip with a 9 month old and a 2 1/2 year old and you know what? It actually wasn't that bad. In fact, it was a lot of fun--well except for the last 45 minutes of the drive home, but that's another story.

Anyway, Brian looked great! I thought he might share that they posted some more recent pictures on his client page at Race to Walk--but he's too modest for that I guess. That's what I'm here for--another perspective. Please do take a look. Not only is his upper body quite strong but he's really started to develop some toning in his legs! You also may want to take a look at his NTAF patient page too. With the upcoming golf tournament, we updated that page to reflect some of the more current developments. Doing that too was something that really put things into perspective again for me.

Okay--so here's a neat part about all these recent developments--to develop any sort of muscle tone, you have to have nerve firings. To have nerve firings where you are considered paralyzed there has to be some sort of activity, signals, etc. successfully being transmitted. Brian and the RTW therapists really noticed the toning in his thighs and glutes but I think you can see it all the way down to his calves. With all this exercise-based therapy, he's also able to hoist himself up from the wheelchair and make small rotations with each of his legs from the hip joint (Yes, in essence, MOVE HIS LEGS--albeit slightly, I know). This is for a guy who was rendered completely paralyzed from the navel down in March 2009, who has yet to even complete a full year of intensive therapy (due to bed rest as a result of the intense pressure wound last year) and therapy that he would not even have the opportunity to do if it weren't for the generosity of all of you. Thus, I am hopeful that with another year focused on intensive recovery therapy, Brian will continue to experience some more significant gains.

As much as the physical gains matter, especially to a young athletic male, I am so proud of my brother's attitude and demeanor. As my husband can vouch, our day trip to Mooresville saw Brian more animated and cheery than times even before the accident. Those who know him well could probably sense his personality's return from his snarky update this month. I know he still hates the constant companion of a wheelchair (Hey, Brian, you should name her--how about Rollene?), but he's not as focused on it anymore all of the time. He thinks it makes him less of a person, but he's really the only one who thinks that. The nephew (my two year old son) Brian used to say wouldn't be able to relate to him at all in a wheelchair had a blast sitting on the porch blowing bubbles with him. Owen even begged Brian to come with us on our detour by the "ice cream store" before hitting the road (my husband thought a milkshake would be a great way to keep him quiet--boy, was it ever). His niece, my nine month old, still wonders why his standing frame doesn't have the accessories that her frame does.

All silliness aside, I see Brian continue to grow stronger--physically, mentally, and spiritually--as he braves another day overcoming both the real and perceived limitations. I see the love of family and friends supporting him, helping him, and encouraging him and I am encouraged as I continue to see God be faithful to Brian and our family in this journey here on earth.

This whole ordeal continues to affirm that our God is a loving God who, from the very beginning, made a plan that once sin entered this world, He would redeem us (Genesis 1:1, 26; John 1:1, 3:16). That, in the beginning, the God who is and can do anything and everything, once we chose sin, still decides to use us to demonstrate His glory.

This time of year particularly, I am reminded of the suffering Jesus lovingly and obediently endured. For scarcely a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love towards us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:7-8). Even while submitting to God's will to die on the cross, Jesus loves us so much that He asks God to forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34). I am even more reminded of what His suffering produced, And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:14-15).

As we know the death of Jesus resulted in eternal life for us, we can truly believe the comfort of Romans 8:18, For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

It also reminds me of an Our Daily Bread devotional I bookmarked last month. An excerpt follows:

When we experience tragedy, we may wonder about God’s goodness. Is God always good? Yes, He is. He doesn’t promise that bad things will never happen to us, but He does promise to be "our refuge and strength” (Psalm 46:1). He doesn’t promise that we will never walk through heart-wrenching circumstances, but He promises that we won’t be alone (Psalm 23:4). God is good--no matter what suffering we are experiencing. Even when we don't understand, we can say with Habakkuk, "Yet will I rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation" (3:18).

I see this--God's goodness in suffering--in the celebration of Easter. I see this same goodness in suffering in His provision through Brian's circumstance all of the time. I am so eternally grateful and thankful for both.

March Update from Brian

2010-03-27T12:04:00.001-07:00

I had some follow up appointments at the Charlotte hospital where I was four months or so following the accident. I try to get in and out of there as fast as possible. That place is just depressing. I hate it there and I have no idea how so many people visited me there so frequently. It is not so much that I was there for so long but it is seeing the people at the hospital, so many are just so beat down looking and I can't help but even wonder what they even like about life.

I remember being told by so many staff while there that I had one of the best attitudes of any patient they had ever had. I guess it was because I never really complained and did everything they asked of me with pretty good effort. I do not think I had an exceptional attitude, I was just doing what I felt I should be doing--my parents raised me to be respectful and I figured what good was not getting out of bed to do rehab going to do? I guess a lot of other patients would refuse to participate or even get out of bed. Not that I blame anyone, I was in shock as well with what was going on and many days it would have made plenty of sense to stay in bed. I guess my involvement in athletics makes me unable to understand how you could think any other way though.

I remember just passing by people and seeing them just randomly break down crying hysterically. I admitted before that I cried once or twice but I am very good at keeping a calm demeanor and holding things inside and it was tough to see how upset so many people were.

The last few months I was there I did everything for myself. I would not let anyone help me get up in the mornings because that is just how I am. I like doing things for myself and I struggle accepting and getting help of any kind. I remember the staff even running out of things for me to do in therapy because I had already done everything they cover. I think that is why the slow progress with my recovery efforts is getting to me because I kind of expected to get better and be ahead of everyone else. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees with this stuff and every injury is so different that it isn't worth comparing yourself to others but I can't help myself. I hope that this type of stubborn attitude does payoff at some point.

I do like living by myself and even being by myself but sometimes I think being alone so much just makes me think about things too much. One idea I jokingly just think about it is just becoming the "crazy wheelchair guy." This would mean just embracing and accepting this "life" (note parentheses here because I'm just not going to call this living right now). I am thinking to do this maybe I should get a power wheelchair, wear some short shorts, velcro shoes, and a fanny pack. Also getting hair as white as my father's and maybe even wearing a headband would make sense. I could just go live in a 200 square foot studio apartment, eat canned food (that's about all you can eat with social security), write poetry, speak gibberish, and scare people by talking to myself. I guess I'm not quite ready to go there yet though!

I am sure in a future blog I will go into how I have an almost full-time job fighting with insurance on a pretty much every other day basis. As much as I get frustrated with my provider, I am thankful they consider the Krieger Institute in Baltimore, Maryland, "in network." Without insurance, two to three weeks of therapy would cost $30,000. With my insurance it will cost around $5,500, though I am still exploring financially reasonable accommodation options. I am excited about going and it looks like I'll be headed there in May following the golf tournament being hosted for my benefit and to help pay for this trip by some great friends.

This therapy trip will get me in front of another set of eyes, a set of eyes that are renowned experts in this field and are about as confident as anyone that you can work to get back function. They worked a lot with Christopher Reeve, who had about as bad an injury as you could have, but before he died they assert that through intensive therapies he recovered 70% of his sensation and 25% of his motor function. This, of course, does not happen quickly but the goal is to develop a plan to continue at your home base, so I will look forward to their collaboration with Race To Walk to see what we can do.

I continue to be blessed and amazed with the support I have gotten. Without the help, I have no idea what I would be doing with myself. I have tried to reach out to everyone personally but I never think I am showing enough thanks. I hesitate to say that I can credit everyone of you with preventing me from becoming "crazy wheelchair guy," simply because I know so many of my friends want to see it (though temporarily), but again, thank you.

I'll be sure to keep you posted on how things are going next month and look forward to seeing many of you at the golf course on May 19th.

February 2010, Update from Brian

2010-03-01T12:14:00.000-08:00

I recently decided I am going to try to post updates to this blog as close to a monthly basis as possible. I am little behind with this post since I was working through some computer issues...

I am so over the cold weather that is starting to feel like will never end. I have always hated the cold but I hate to admit that for a while I wanted it to stay cold because the warm weather just made me miss things I used to do with the warm weather.

I am still here in Mooresville and working out at Race To Walk five days a week. I am pretty much here in Mooresville on my own. I have family and a few friends in Charlotte but it is about a 45 minute drive for most of them. Not having friends or family here or a car has made for some quite memorable experiences. I take public transportation to Race To Walk every day. The transportation service is through Iredell County. They are scheduled to get me to Race To Walk at 11 am and pick me up at 5 pm. Apparently this means they can pick me up as early as 10 am and I have been picked up as late as 6:30 pm or not at all (and I live maybe 1.5 miles from Race To Walk).

I have had several interesting conversations with the Transportation Supervisor and have gotten a decent handle on the inconsistency but it has been a little frustrating at times. As annoying as it can be I am lucky to have it. It usually gets me where I need to be (Race To Walk) and it costs me $1 each way. Since I am doing my best to conserve funds for recovery, I do not know what I would do without it.

Since I use this about every day, I have gotten to know several of the drivers pretty well. Since I am usually the only passenger on the van, I talk with the drivers quite a bit. I remember the first day I used the service and how I got into a conversation with the driver about my accident and what I was doing at Race to Walk and how I never thought I would be living in Iredell County and riding public transportation. When I unloaded from the van the driver asked me how my first ride was and I jokingly responded that I felt like I was riding the short bus to school. Oops-- she quickly said, “You shouldn’t say that, my son is deaf and autistic and he rides one to school.” I felt bad (another lesson learned) but she wasn’t mad at me and has become my favorite driver.

I mentioned in my last post how slow physical progress is and how patient you have to make yourself be or I think you would just set yourself up for disappointment and drive yourself crazy. I can say that over the last few weeks I have actually noticed some improvements. My balance, due to increased core strength, has gotten better. I was in bed for so long that sadly even sitting up straight had become challenging. Most recently I can feel my glut/butt muscles starting to fire, which will be a pretty big deal if I can get them a lot stronger. I think back to being in the hospital and not being able to feel below my belly button and now I seem to maybe be on the verge of getting my glut muscles back.

It makes me feel good to see this progress and makes me remain thankful to everyone who has helped me have the opportunity to even be able to go after these gains, especially considering how these are entirely out of pocket treatments not covered by insurance (but that's another post for another day). It costs about $1600 a month to go after gains such as these, which is a lot of money, so I am encouraged that the investment seems to be showing some signs of payoff. I know I cannot do this forever but I hope to give it about as much of a shot as anyone can.

I know many of you have heard me or others talk about my plans to attend therapy programs at The Shepherd Center in Atlanta and I still may end up going but it looks like things are shaping up to have me attend a program in Baltimore, Maryland--Kennedy Krieger Institute, affiliated with Johns Hopkins University. I may be there as early as April. I should have more concrete details and info to pass along in my next post about what's next.

Until then, I will continue to work hard at Race To Walk and explore what options are available to me on all aspects of my recovery.

Again, I have to say that without each and everyone of your help, I wouldn't even be able to experience these recent encouragements in physical gains. Thanks again to all of you for your continued support.

An Update from Brian

2010-01-13T11:30:00.000-08:00

First, I just want to say I hope everyone had a good holiday and happy new year.

I know that time this year was better for my family; I can’t even imagine what it was like last year with me unconscious in the hospital. As my sister mentioned in a previous post, this December also marked the year-point since my accident. I do not remember much of anything that day, but it was a little tough that day when I thought about the physical issues I still face. I thought I would have been further along in my recovery then I am. I do try to remind myself of all the secondary injuries and issues I have faced, which all slowed my progress. I often forget I had broken bones and organ issues that have impeded my progress.

I am now three months or so into my time in Mooresville at Race to Walk. I go every weekday for about five hours each day. I do personal training three days a week and my own thing the other two days. Overall It has been a good change for me, I was almost bedridden until late September battling secondary issues and I feel like going to Race to Walk has given me a sense of purpose and made me feel like I am being proactive about things. I am trying to be as patient as possible because progress is SLOW and it can be a little frustrating. With my athletic background I am used to working out and pushing myself physically but this is a different type of working out. It is more mentally tiring and challenging then physically.

Therapy is an attempt to reconnect signals in my body, which makes me feel like my nervous system is going haywire 24/7. It is not the best feeling in the world but it does make me feel like my body is trying. The hope is that the signals bust through the injured area or re-route themselves. My body kind of just hurts, especially my hips and lower back but I kind of expected some pain in muscles and parts of my body I have not been able to really use since 2008. The idea is that you have to strengthen things in a cascading manner; hence, a lot of the focus is on my core and my hips. They were very weak when we started therapy but I do feel them slowly getting stronger.

Mentally, I remain strong but I cannot pretend that this stuff is not tough. Like most people, I did not know all the things that accompany a spinal cord injury. I had no idea that paralyzed limbs were just the tip of the iceberg. This stuff just sometimes makes no sense, for example someone with a high injury may be able to regain the ability to walk but cannot move their fingers. I am trying to remain as positive as possible but it is hard some days. Some days I think, I survived a near fatal accident for this??? I go to sleep to wake up to sit down???

I miss being active, before my accident I lifted 3-4 times a week and played basketball once or twice….man I miss that badly. I do not know how sometimes but I remain quietly confident that all this is a temporary and I do expect this nightmare to end. Sometimes I just get mad, I get mad that there are no more medical advances but mostly mad that I let this happen. I have no idea why but even when I was in the hospital I just expected to get past all these things much more quickly.

I do have another few months in Mooresville and after that it is on to Atlanta or possibly somewhere else for another attempt at therapy. In the meantime, I will just stay with it and do what I can to improve. I am continually thankful for the help I have received, without it and my supportive family I do not know what I would be doing. Your kind contributions help pay for this therapy and in turn, give me some hope as I continue to process life in this different body. I know I cannot focus on this forever and life has to go on but I can say that I feel better about things now than I did four months ago.

Another hopeful development I have been researching, I am about to start taking a non FDA approved drug called 4-AP, available through compound pharmacies and found to benefit about 30% of spinal cord injuries. I would say it is like putting the signals in your body on steroids, so I am hoping will benefit me but I will not know for several weeks.

Again, thank you all for your support and concern. We will continue to try and keep you updated with periodic postings. Hopefully I will do another post in the not too distant future where I will be able to mention some significant improvements. Historically I keep things to myself so I do not talk much about this stuff but I feel the need to open up sometimes, especially given all of your support. All I know is I still refuse to live like this, I am not sure exactly what that means but I know some changes will be made.

One Year Later...

2009-12-14T12:39:00.000-08:00

Yes, to the date. It was this day, 2008 my mom & dad got the 5:00am phone call that Brian was in the Carolinas Medical Center Trauma ICU & this part of life's journey began.

It's been a tough week for Brian & our family, I guess, though no one's really said too much about it. The memories flood back--like things we last did together "before the accident," where we spent Christmas, & the like.

I have meant to post before today as this tragedy continues to give way to so many wonderful outpourings of support. Yet, somehow day-to-day tasks manage to steal any time I might have to do so.

Anyway, giving these folks the more than overdue thank you they deserve, the Cary High Basketball Scrimmage Benefit for Brian was such a tremendous success. Over $3,000 was raised that day for Brian's uninsured needs--though if you ask my son, he'd tell you the highlight of the event was the super cool green CHS basketball he got & watching a basketball game. The staff made a great presentation of their efforts to our family during the game. Standing on the court where Brian once played, we saw so many wonderful & supportive faces in the stands.

What amazes me even more about the funds raised was how half of them were pledged before school was even out by students & staff alike. Moreover, former CHS graduate & now head basketball coach of Cardinal Gibbons, Marque Carrington, discreetly presented my dad with over $300 for Brian raised by his team alone.

I used to work in the schools. It's a hard, thankless job. More so each passing year, I think. The fact that these folks still managed to make time to organize & show up in support of such a successful event is overwhelming. The whole event & the spirit of it was amazing.

Thank you to all of you.

Some of you also might like to know that we had a nice change of pace for Thanksgiving this year. The couple of times Brian has come to Raleigh, he stayed in a hotel because private residence doors are not large enough for a wheelchair, particularly bathrooms. With NTAF monies, we purchased a small transfer chair that fits through standard doors, allowing Brian to stay at our house, both saving the cost of a hotel & well, just making things a little less difficult & a little more familiar. We look forward to having him back for Christmas, right Brian?

We ate Thanksgiving dinner with some great families at the Town of Cary Fire Station #1 that Myra helped organized since she & others were on duty that night. We brought some food, making a point to come early to help set up (I mean, they are the ones on duty, missing Thanksgiving at home.), but our efforts were moot. They were busily preparing turkey, ham, stuffing, & more--ending up doing the waiting on us rather than the other way around.

Most often, they don't get their calls until night. This year, we had the special treat of witnessing them jump up from what they were doing & take two calls. Really. Jump. Up. They can move. I couldn't believe how quickly they were out the door & down the street, sirens blaring. Jumping up from serving us dinner to take calls. Folks just like them rushed to the rescue of my brother this very day last year...

Thank you to all of you.

There just continue to be so many of you helping in such different, yet, vital ways--rides home for holidays & visits just because you sense Brian might be down that day. Even requesting that in memory of a beautiful life lost, donations be made on Brian's behalf.

Thank you to all of you.

God made us for good works, you know:

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).

It's not what gets us into heaven but He made us to help others & to glorify Him in doing so.

It's also not just good works that helps others & glorifies God. Suffering can do that too. How much more does it help to hear encouragement, advice, or support from someone going through or having made it through what you are enduring than someone who hasn't?

I liked this commentary on 2 Corinthians 1:3-11.

I am always amazed by those who have endured life's wrongs yet all the while remain firm in their belief that they were made by a kind and loving Creator who will one day remove those hardships & restore their loss (Revelation 21:4).

Suffering does so many things. Suffering helps a believer stay kingdom-minded. When things go well, we tend to forget that this life is vanity. When tragedy comes, we don't have to even try to block out daily distractions. Tragedy strips all the frivolity clear out of the picture for you. Instantaneously you know what doesn't matter to you as much as you know what does. Those things we think make us content, we see how vapid they are & we remember what matters.

But for many, suffering also is the age-old stumbling block in his or her belief in Our kind & loving God.

The God who made Himself human to help us grasp eternity within our worldly constraints, a baby even, who willingly endured death on a cross so that we don't have to...

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things (Romans 8:32)?

Anyway, Brian continues to truck along with therapy at Race to Walk (check the link for a couple of shots of Brian in action). Though this week has been a little rough, he has mostly good days.

Andy & his wife, Dawn, have done more than provide a state-of-the-art physical therapy center for Brian (As if that wasn't enough, right?). They have helped him with a couple of errands here & there & just befriended him as people who, first hand, know what he's going through. Brian's also starting a new medication this week that has shown some success with helping nerve sensation return for patients with spinal cord injuries. We are hopeful that it will do the same for him.

This time last year, he was brought to the ER with staff thinking he wasn't going to make it. Many of the attending doctors thought he'd be paralyzed from the chest down. He left the rehab hospital in March paralyzed at the navel. He now feels all the way down to the middle of his hips.

Hang in there, Brian. I know it's so hard, though only as someone who sees what you & those like you daily endure.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us (Romans 8:18).

Be encouraged that one day the restoration you'll gain won't even compare to the pain, devastation, & loss you've endured thus far.

For those of you reading, please continue to pray for my brother. I quickly glanced back at the posts I wrote this time last year & it reminded me so clearly of all of those praying for his survival & healing. I'll admit, prayer is not my strong suit but I've seen & felt it work. When you have others praying on your behalf, worry diminishes & a sense of peace takes its place.

Brian could use a lot of prayers for his physical problems. Even more, being able to go through this uncertain process with diminished worry & increased peace would be of tremendous help to him & his family for that matter too (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Cary High Scrimmage Benefit This Tuesday

2009-11-07T18:55:00.000-08:00

We just wanted to let everyone know that this Tuesday, November 10th, Brian's (and his three sisters') alma mater, Cary High School, will be playing their first men's varsity basketball scrimmage of the season. The ever-supportive network of CHS parents, families, friends, and staff, known as the Imp Club, have helped organized a "Brian Keeter Benefit" around this event.

(And who knew that when Sports Illustrated earlier this year ranked the top 15 most unique mascots for high schools and the Cary Imp came in #4!)

Unfortunately, Brian will be unable to attend due to therapy appointments in Mooresville, but we all look forward to being there to cheer on CHS basketball and to thank you all for your ongoing prayers, love, and support.

We'll see you at Cary High at 6:00!

A Thank You from Brian

2009-11-04T12:40:00.000-08:00

First of all, I want to thank everyone that attended the Red Rally basketball event a few weeks ago. It was good to see a lot of folks that I had not seen face-to-face in quite a while. Admittedly, I was very nervous about attending, as I am still trying to adjust to my new appearance and the way I have to get around for now. It all can be pretty overwhelming, honestly.

One major adjustment for me is being so low to the ground--and a few former teammates who came out to show their support sure did not help me feel any better about it that night! However, the night went well and I am glad I was able to come. It was great seeing all of you and being able to show a little bit of thanks to all the people who have been so supportive.

I also wanted to come in order to show NC State my appreciation for their help. To date, I am told that the Red Rally raised approximately $1,800 to help pay for direct medical and therapy expenses not covered by my insurance, in addition to insurance co-pays and deductibles.

Again, I am so fortunate to have such great support from all of my family and friends and I am encouraged by the recent efforts of NC State on behalf--including some very supportive emails and letters received from people I do not even really know personally. I thank all of you for your support. I truly feel like the more support I get the more motivation and momentum I carry into my upcoming recovery efforts.

About a week ago, we completed my move from Charlotte to Mooresville to began the recovery efforts I have been looking forward to starting for a quite sometime. I will be here for the next five to six months, spending most of my days at Race to Walk. Simply beginning this phase of the journey has already really made me feel better about things--I am finally able to be proactive and see what can happen with some hard work. In a few weeks I will have better idea of the type of training program I will be following and I will be sure to share how things are going with all of you.

My new address is:

175 Carriage Club Drive

Apt. 3-105

Mooresville, NC 28117

Sincerely,

Brian

Happy Birthday Brian!

2009-10-31T18:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is just one of those days that will probably never be the same for me again--at least not this year so I just wanted to quickly post--

Today is Brian's birthday.

Dare I tell how old you are, little brother? Well, of course, I'm the big (albeit older, yes I know) sister...

Happy 30th Birthday, Brian!

This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24).

Again, I just have to say that it's one of those days where I am reminded of how fortunate I am to even have the possible opportunity to annoy you with this post (assuming someone tells you I did it in the first place).

We almost lost you last year. We should have--by vehicle extrication and emergency hospital standards. I remember a Christmas Eve nurse assigned to you on the trauma intensive care unit who told us she was also in the emergency room the night they brought you in. She, too, remembered thinking that she didn't expect you to make it. She also told us, as a traveling nurse who usually worked with patients with spinal cord injuries, that she'd seen many a God-given miracle that doctors just couldn't explain.

Speaking of--look at you now...alive, moving one step closer to full independence, & wholeheartedly committed, with excitement even, to the upcoming months of an intensive, grueling physical therapy quest to make some gains to what you have lost.

I thank God for having you here with us, Brian. For inspiring me not only in your determination but in being a daily living example that our God is a loving God who does, in His perfect timing, answer prayers.

The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace (Numbers 6:24-26).

We love you so much and are so strongly reminded, as we were when He spared you on December 14th, 2008, that as you continue to commit this journey to Jesus Christ, He will bless you & He will keep you.

So, little brother, Happy Birthday...

A Few Words from Brian

2009-10-13T13:43:00.001-07:00

A GREAT article, Keeter Time, by Dave Pond is a featured story this month on ncsu.edu website. Please be sure to check it out.

Also, some of you may have received the below message from Brian in an email. We thought those not on his contact list might like to hear from him too so we've posted it below:

Hey Everybody!

I want again to thank everyone that has & continues to reach out to me following my accident. I continue to be amazed by the tremendous amount of support I receive from family & friends.

Unable to be proactive in my recovery has been very tough both mentally & physically. I am extremely excited that I have finally recovered from secondary issues that have prevented me from taking a very aggressive & proactive route in my recovery. I am ready to get started & confident that nobody will work harder then me at the therapies I am about to begin!

October is going to be a busy & exciting month. I will be moving about 25 miles or so north of Charlotte to be close to the Race to Walk therapy gym in Mooresville. At Race to Walk, I plan on building strength working with therapists & on my own 4-5 days a week. I hope to build up as much strength as I can & make as many gains as possible to maximize the time spent at my next stop at the Shepherd Center in Atlanta. The Shepherd Center has a wonderfully renowned outpatient therapy program, Beyond Therapy, which helps people with injuries like mine attempt to recover function. They have many success stories from people with injuries similar to mine. My father got me admitted & on the waiting list shortly after getting injured. He also toured the facility a few months ago. There was an eight month wait when I signed up & I anticipate beginning there in early 2010.

As most of you know, NC State has offered to help raise money to cover the tremendous out-of-pocket expenses associated with spinal cord injury therapy & recoveries that are not covered by insurance. I invite & encourage everyone to attend the Red Rally this Friday, October 16th. I definitely plan to come out in support of NC State family & hope also to see many of you there.

With the Red Rally coming up, I thought I should address one concern. Some people inquiring about donating to NTAF on my behalf have expressed some confusion regarding where the monies go. Just to be clear, approximately 98% of tax-deductible donations received in my honor go into my personal NTAF account to be used towards paying for progressive therapies such as Race to Walk & Shepherd Center, modifications to a vehicle so that I can begin driving again, & other vital expenses that insurance does not cover (The other 2% goes towards administrative costs & salaried patient fund coordinators.).

I appreciate everyone that has donated & please know that every little bit helps so much. I know times are tough for a lot of people but I cannot tell you how the small donations from many add up to be such a tremendous help to my family & me.

Again, I look forward to seeing you all at Reynolds Coliseum this Friday!

Sincerely,
Brian Keeter

As always, thank you so much to all the family, friends, & supporters who continue to encourage & assist Brian & our family through this! Please also be sure to check out Kermit's blog--he's been able to post some GREAT news as to how Brian is doing.

NCSU Red Rally @ Reynolds

2009-10-12T18:51:00.001-07:00

Come out in support of NC State Athletics & Brian--We'll see you there!

Meeting Uncle Brian

2009-08-25T10:55:00.000-07:00

As many of you may know from my dad's updates, Brian has been hindered from overall recovery by a rather persistent pressure wound since March. Though receiving regular care for this obstacle in Charlotte, its inexplicable persistence prompted my dad to seek a second opinion from a wound care clinic here in Raleigh.

Admittedly, I saw one perk in this frustrating situation: We got to have a visit with Uncle Brian! He & Faye met for the first time & though he loves Owen just as much as the rest of us, he too, was shocked that Faye was as calm & quiet as she was (& this was with no nap!). She enjoyed sitting next to her uncle as well as laying in his lap, sitting on his shoulder, his head, & any other place I stuck her. ;)

Traveling was so difficult for Brian, particularly given the need to stay off the wound, all the stuff he has to pack to be away even for just one night, & most of all being a passenger while his mom drove all the way from Charlotte to Raleigh--yikes! :). Given all these obstacles, I thought we had a pretty nice little visit. Well, till Owen got stung by that hornet thingy or whatever it was (He's still got a knot on the side of his head from that thing but I think it hurt Grandmommy to see him get stung just as much as it actually hurt him.).

Oh & Brian, those small ramps we made to ease your entry into the house (In quite a nice upgrade of a chair, might I say? I agree with you--the florescent green bars on the loaner just weren't your style.)? Well, Owen thanks you--he's got a couple of pretty sweet starter ramps he went up & down on his Strider bike the rest of the afternoon.

For those of you who haven't seen Brian in quite sometime--he looks GREAT! He doesn't see it but I tried to explain it to him like this:

In December, you really were almost dead, saved from a car crash by a miracle & some amazing first responders, machines performing most of the vital life functions for you. By March, you were alive (Breathing & eating on your own--hey, hey...) but you still really looked like you were almost dead. When we saw you last in May, you were, well, alive--though I'd have to say with a look that said barely. August 2009, you look almost really healthy. Really.

(I know he's not buying my observation but it's true.)

He's gotten so strong despite such limitations to what he can do physically, once again, because of that pressure sore--to see him lift in & out of the car, up a steep rise in our walkway to get to the house, to & from the sofa. He's so quick at it all now. His upper body is probably the bulkiest (in a good way) I've seen in quite awhile. I swear, even his legs looked more muscular to me than they had since he was released from the hospital in March (He says it's because he has a tan. I say, the jokester's on the come back!).

After a quick stop at our house, he went to meet up for dinner with a few friends kindly hosted by a friend & his wife, who, like so many of you, have been quite wonderful to our family through this whole ordeal. Brian also stayed the night there, as their house is wheelchair accessible. Though my family (aka "the nursery" as Brian so lovingly calls it--Told you, he's back.) did not attend, my sisters were there & said that Brian somewhat seemed himself...a bit more relaxed than usual & even joking around (Oooh, & I'm not the only one!).

So, all in all, I thought it was a great visit. Brian, though handling things so matter of fact, continues to remain so frustrated by it all. There are just so many countless problems that come with a spinal cord injury & a relentless pressure wound. So many adjustments, especially for a young single male with no ties who woke up facing paralysis-- so much equipment, a continual need for assistance, things you just cannot reach, doorways you can't even fit through---all constant reminders screaming in your face of all the things you now cannot do. It hurts to see him going through this.

Without actually being in his position, we all do the best we can to understand. One of the things I pray for constantly is for God to give me the words Brian needs for comfort, encouragement, & hope. Almost immediately following his visit, I got the answer to that prayer.

The night after Brian's visit, I read in one of my devotionals:

The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble. And those you know Your name will put their trust in You; for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You (Psalms 9:9-10).

A couple of days later, I was struck by this short commentary on Psalm 23, written by David (the King David, the David of David & Goliath, etc.) when he was a young man tending sheep:

The Lord is my shepherd...He restores my soul (Psalms 23:1,3).

I can't be that source. Only God can provide that refuge & hope to Brian. When I start wanting to be the one to fix things, I know that the best way to do just that is to keep trusting Him & praying...

Reminder: Brian's Dad Now Blogging

2009-08-07T19:10:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to remind you all to continue to check Brian's dad, Kermit's blog, for updates:

bkrecover-eyesofdad.blogspot.com

Thank you for following my brother's story & supporting our family with your love, prayers, & financial contributions.

We do not have the NTAF contribution letter available for download at this time; however, if anyone is interested in receiving a copy for distribution, please send us an email at bkrecover@gmail.com & we'll email it to you.

Welcome Baby Faye!

2009-06-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that Brian's niece, Faye Julia, was born at 12:39 pm on June 10th--her due date & her paternal grandmother's birthday!

She was a healthy 7 lbs., 6 oz. & 21 inches at birth--though she's grown so much these past couple weeks already.

She is such a wonderful little girl & best described as the needed piece that our family was missing. Thank you all for your answered prayers for a healthy baby & a smooth delivery.

Every good gift & every perfect gift is from above...James 1:17

Accordingly, Brian's dad has taken over updating you all on the ins & outs of Brian's recovery journey. Though we will continue to update this blog, please be sure to bookmark & follow Kermit's blog also: Brian's Recovery--Through the Eyes of a Dad. As I said, he's got a Facebook page, so he's gotta have a blog now too, right?

Brian's Dad: Standing Upright

2009-06-28T17:31:00.000-07:00

For the first time in nearly seven months, Brian is able to be in an upright position with support from a recently acquired standing frame (see photo). He has already increased his tolerance in the frame to a couple of hours per day. Perhaps, being in an upright position will assist in healing his serious pressure wound. For two months now, this troublesome wound has dominated his time and prevented him from getting into recovery therapies that would put his paralyzed limbs into motion. While healing does continue, the Wound Specialist has not yet ruled out plastic surgery should the healing process stall.

The pressure wound prevented Brian from accompanying me on my visit to Beyond Therapy, a recovery program for spinal cord injury victims located at Shepherd Hospital in Mid-town Atlanta. Brian is on a “waiting list” to enroll. Meanwhile, he is anxious to go to Race to Walk which is located near Charlotte. Trainers at both programs will collaborate. They will use state of the art equipment and vigorous exercise to improve Brian’s overall health and possibly restore some function to his paralyzed legs.

I’ve been able to open channels with some of those involved in research who are seeking a cure for paralysis. There is truly an explosion of activity involving a variety of promising approaches. The findings presented at the latest international conference of neuroscientists were so promising that researchers were gathering in the hallways at break, sketching out their plans for clinical trials.

Our plans and strategies for Brian’s healing are well in place. We just didn’t realize how prolong, troublesome, and at times even scary those issues would be. Brian knows that the recovery road will be long, but he also understands that his goals for acquiring more function can be obtained. Only GOD knows when and to what degree. With faith, Brian, his family and supporters will stay the course.

On behalf of our family, I extend special thanks to those who are donating to Brian’s recovery fund, keeping his recovery efforts (e.g., acquisition of standing frame) on track while our family presses on with the rehabilitation and medical treatments that are necessary and vital. Some of you have given of your time and energy assisting us in helpful and loving ways – looking after our 3 rescue dogs; cutting the grass; sending phone cards; donating items for Brian’s apartment; planning fund raising events; obtaining auction items from the “Canes” (Thank you Carolina Hurricanes!).

Brian has two great friends from Cary living in Charlotte who consistently visit him. Several of you have visited him from out of town. He does so much better in the company of his friends. While it has been wise for him to stay in Charlotte for treatments, his opportunity for interaction with others is much too limited. Your visits are making a positive difference in his life.

Several images from the past several months have been etched into my mind. One of the more vivid just recently occurred at a rehab therapy session. From nearby, I watched Brian lying in a prone position on the floor; rise to his knees; elevate, while rotating his trunk; and then land into his wheel-chair in one nearly continuous motion. I pondered, how could he have possibly done that? By this time, Brian had spotted me. I didn’t wait for that slight wave of his hand, the signal that my young son began using as an eight year old at ball practice to tell Dad it was time to give him space and move on. On this occasion, the tears pooling in my eyes was more than enough to send me on my way.

Thank you each and everyone for your prayers and support,
Kermit – Brian Keeter’s Dad

Thank You from Brian

2009-06-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

I apologize that it has taken me so long to add to Kara's blog. Honestly, its been quite an adjustment dealing with the things I have to face for now. Sometimes I feel like it is a bad dream I have not woken up from.

I just wanted to thank you all for the tremendous amount of support I have received since my accident in December. I have been out of the hospital for a couple of months & continue to be pleasantly surprised with the amount of visitors, cards, & financial donations I receive.

I am working hard everyday with outpatient therapy appointments, my own trips to the hospital gym, & with the hopes to start some new recovery therapy soon. It really does continue to be a major adjustment to not be able to do many of the active things I have enjoyed for the majority of my life.

I still remain confident that with a positive attitude & the ongoing support of my friends & family that I am going to get through this challenge & even come out of it all a better person. The road to recovery is going to be a long & challenging one. The wonderful support group I am so fortunate to have in you all is so helpful in providing me the strength to continue working towards it.

Thanks again for your continued prayers, kindness & support,
Brian Keeter

Brian's Dad: Pressure Sore Preventing Recovery Therapies

2009-05-26T16:38:00.000-07:00

For seven weeks now, Brian has been in treatment for a severe pressure sore which has him largely confined to bed, lying on his side & stomach--& understandably frustrated. We still do not know if he will be able to avoid plastic surgery or how much longer it will be before he can participate in recovery therapies at Race to Walk, where his paralyzed legs will be put into motion. We do know that severe pressure sores are very slow to heal & can be dangerous, so Brian must abide by the restrictions placed upon him.

Despite this, Brian’s attitude & demeanor are remarkable. I truly have my son back. He rolls with one punch after another with a quiet assurance, taking charge. The dry wit is back, often targeted on me (& I do give him plenty of material). Thankfully, he & his mom have a lot in common. Louane is able to stay steady & confident while helping him gain his independence. Her presence & demeanor are invaluable. As they always have, she & Brian make a great team.

Soon we hope to have a standing frame. The medical literature is well-documented with the health benefits that occur as a result of placing a spinal cord injury patient into a standing position on a routine basis; yet, insurance seldom helps. To some degree, so much of this seems to be common sense. Getting the body into an upright position & putting paralyzed limbs into motion all have well-documented health benefits. Dr. Wise Young of the Spinal Cord Institute at Rutgers University, neuroscientist & former principal physician to Christopher Reeve, commented on the importance of a using a standing frame. He said that the most important singular activity a paraplegic can do to keep their bodies readied for taking advantage of promising emerging therapies is to routinely get into a standing frame--& so Brian will.

Thank you for following this blog & for your continued concern & support for Brian. We will keep you posted. I also find it very encouraging receiving comments from you; thanks very much Sara Ficken for your recent note.

Kermit – Brian’s Dad

Child-Like Faith

2009-05-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I've been struggling to feel a personal connection with Jesus these past few weeks for reasons I just can't articulate. I've been praying about it, really just asking God to help me feel His presence & His love for Brian, my family, & me. Honestly, the genuine plea of the father of a suffering child in Mark 9:24, "Lord, help my unbelief!," has just constantly been running through my mind.

These past few days, God has really answered this plea by showing His love through the outpouring of generosity of the women at my wonderful church in the surprise celebration of the any-day-now arrival of my daughter (Thank you all!) & the way he touched my son's heart as I have narrated for you below.

Also, as always I have to thank all of you not just for your support of my brother but for the entire family, mine included. Those of you sending notes of encouragement, etc. have no idea how much of a blessing there has been in your timing. Whether you meant to be or not, you were used to answer a prayer!

Anyway, yesterday Owen took a big spill chasing one of our poor dogs down the hall resulting in a big, fat, bloody, busted lip. After consoling my hysterical toddler, I went to start dinner while Owen & his dad crashed Matchbox trucks off of various household items. Here's the dialogue I'm told ensued:

O's Dad: When trucks fall, they don't get hurt. But people & animals can get hurt when they fall. Like Uncle Brian has a pretty bad "bump-bump."

O: Pray for Uncle Brian.

(O's Dad, slightly surprised as we do pray for Brian with Owen in most of his bedtime prayers but honestly it's been quite sometime, as in months, since either of us have prompted Owen about this specifically, proceeds to say a short prayer for Brian.)

O: (Nodding assuredly to his dad) Amen. Uncle Brian feel better.

O's Dad: (Walking into kitchen) Let's go tell Mommy what we just did.

Me: (Putting on my best I'm-so-excited-high-pitched voice while expecting, hoping for "pee-pee in the potty," quite honestly.) What did you do?

O: Pray for Uncle Brian. Uncle Brian feel better.

Wow. It was such a sincere moment, I felt my eyes well up with tears. I guess that's what the Bible means when we are told to have the faith of a child (Matthew 18:1-4). Who cares about that stupid potty anyway?

So, I'm not one looking for signs & wonders (Matthew 12:29), but I'm going to take this touching of my young son's heart as confirmation & answer to my prayer that Brian, life will get better.

Thanks to God & for how He uses so many of you in helping my unbelief!

Guest Post from Brian's Sister, Myra

2009-05-11T10:14:00.000-07:00

Myra, Owen, & I had a great visit with Brian late last week & Myra, Brian's youngest sister, wanted to share some reflections on that visit with all of you...

Kara & I visited Brian this week. It was during this particular visit Kara & I made it our mission to arrange for some good ol' family time via a picnic dinner at Carmel Road Park. To prepare for this outing, we headed to the nearest grocery store to pick out an assortment of food. My dad decided to accompany us on this grocery trip to ensure we picked an appropriate dessert; I mean help watch my nephew, Owen (well, he did give Owen a few firm no's when he started punching each & every potato chip bag ;).

Earlier that day, a bunch of us had been talking about what defines people as people. One notion that came up was “walking & standing upright." Although I neither agreed nor disagreed with this statement at the time, I felt something tugging at my heart to scream out "No!". It wasn't until today that I understood why I wanted so strongly to disagree.

When I returned home, I thought nothing of the conversation & went about my business. That night as I prepared for bed, I felt a strong urge to continue with my current studies in Proverbs. Feeling tired & lazy, I chose to ignore that urge & instead opted to close my eyes & go to sleep. As I began drifting off for what I felt was going to be a great night of sleep; I was abruptly awakened. I would lie awake tossing & turning the next thirty minutes wondering why I was struggling to fall back asleep. Unable to fall asleep, I finally decided, okay, fine I will continue reading in Proverbs. Not feeling particular thrilled with my decision, I obligatorily opened my Bible to Proverbs. I began my studies “conveniently” where I left off last in Chapter 6 (For those familiar with Chapter 6, you might understand why I place quotation marks around the word conveniently. Part of this chapter explains how God expects us to use our time. He makes several references to sleeping. Specifically:

Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids (Proverbs 6:4).

How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep (Proverbs 6:9)?

(Well God's to answer that apparently was right now.).

Over the year, my relationship with God has grown. I have developed a more personal relationship with Jesus. It has been through this growth, that I have come to realize God is a funny guy. I find when I least expect it, God reveals himself in ways that make me laugh. To me, this is a strong testament to how God so desires for us to develop a personal relationship with him. God knows that for me personally, humor is a great tool. He knows that I respond well to it & sometimes uses it to teach & motivate me. He also knows that sometimes I need very literal examples to understand the deeper meaning of his words (Hence the irony of Chapter 6). Do I think God expects me to sacrifice sleep? No. But because of this literal example I now better understand what He really means.

I lay awake reading & studying Proverbs for about an hour, reading to about Chapter 15. As I closed my Bible, I began to thank God for all the wisdom He revealed to me through my studies. I also asked him, as he commands in Proverbs 7:1-3, to help me remember His teachings, to be able to use His teachings to uplift others, & bring them into a relationship with Jesus. No sooner could I say amen, my new found wisdom brought me back to that conversation about what makes us human. I, now, undoubtedly understood why I felt the way I did about standing upright & walking as a requirement to be human. I thought of Proverbs 2:6 & 10:

For the Lord gives wisdom and from his mouth comes knowledge and understanding...For wisdom will enter your heart & knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

It is with unwavering confidence I can say “walking & standing upright” does not define us as humans. All one needs to do is look at a monkey, a gorilla, or even a lemur to see they all have the ability to walk upright & yet they do not live as humans. Rather, it is our ability to make choices, to feel an array of emotions, to think, & to communicate that defines us as humans. No other creature comes even remotely close to having the ability to think & communicate with such a freedom & capacity as we do. But God knew this when He created us. That’s why He created a Bible & He's constantly showing us how powerful our own words are.

I know I still have a lot to learn & study, but nowhere in the Bible have I found where God talks about or even emphasizes the importance of walking. Instead I find over & over again how powerful our words are. Our words represent who we are, what is important to us, & how we think of others. Words have the ability to hurt people, to uplift people (such as those kind, encouraging, hopeful, & prayerful words which so many of you have graciously provided for Brian & for us), to bring people closer to or further from God. Proverbs is full of such reminders:

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (12:18).

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up (12:25).

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (15:4).

In this world, I agree walking & standing are important. Our infrastructures are designed based on that functionality. I see this especially as I witness the struggles my brother will face with a wheelchair & I am excited about some of the technological advances that will make mobility more of a reality for him, hopefully in the very near future. However, just as my brother's paralysis is not made for the kind of world we live in neither are we. We are worth more & made for so much more. God shows us that we are to live our lives based on His teachings & not on what the world values (2 Corinthians 1:12). However, in order for us to do this we must have faith in His Son & His promise. Webster defines faith as "something that is believed with strong convection, without question." Unfortunately for many of us our desire to want to have all the answers to our questions before we will believe & the desire to have complete control are the biggest obstacles to faith.

Loyal blog followers will recall that as Brian still struggled to survive in ICU, my dad clung to God's instructions in Proverbs 3:5, ones that continue to be relevant to our coping everyday of this journey.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding.

God doesn’t expect us to understand everything all at once. He doesn’t want us to waste our time trying to find the answers in life without Him or for us to put hope into things that don’t involve him. God wants us to instead use our time to work on developing a personal relationship with Him & to learn to trust Him. That's why Proverbs 3:6 tells the rest of the story:

In all your ways acknowledge Him & He shall direct your paths.

God teaches us over & over again, particularly in Proverbs, that only through this kind of commitment will we gain the wisdom needed to understand.

To close, I leave you with Proverbs 10:25:

When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever.

God never promises us a life here free of disappointments & struggles. One look at the indescribable suffering of many innocent that surround us will confirm that; however, what He does promise is an eternal life free of all the horrible stuff.

As I closed my Bible that night, I asked God, “Do you think You could spend some time teaching me a little bit more about Proverbs 3:24?

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down your sleep will be sweet.

A literal example of this teaching was very much needed for my understanding... ;)

Guest Post from Brian's Dad, Kermit

2009-05-04T16:52:00.000-07:00

Below my dad wanted to share a little bit more about some of the day-to-day experiences on the road to recovery with Brian (Brian, if you ever read this post please note that these comments are totally unedited--so any & all eye rolls, etc. should be directed specifically to Dad. Thanks. ;).

However, before the below-misadventure begins, on behalf of Brian & the entire family; thank you so much to all of you for all your generous support through gifts made directly to Brian, my parents, & through NTAF.

We have made the PDF of Brian's appeal letter available for anyone interested in printing & sharing with others who may have an interest in helping or soliciting financial assistance for Brian as well.

I am also discussing with my Dad the possibility of starting his own blog to continue sharing some of the day-to-day encounters of this ever odd couple. I mean, heck, he's on Facebook now, why wouldn't he have a blog, right?

So, please stay tuned...

Prologue:

In no way can I come close to duplicating Kara's writings in this blog. Not only did she pen Brian's initial steps on his long road towards recovery, but she's provided a testimony for our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ.

Kara is nearing the projected date for Faye's (our granddaughter) arrival. So for the time being, I (Brian's Dad) will share with you Brian's recovery efforts. I do so believing that others seeking hope for recovery from paralysis will find this epic beneficial. My belief of at least partial cures for paralysis is not emulating from a grieving father desperate for hope. Rather, it is based upon hours & hours of research, venturing into the worlds of neuroscience & bioengineering. God willing, Brian will be successful in his recovery efforts against tough odds as will others via emerging therapies. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

First Father-Son Outing:
As Brian & I neared the entrance to Harris-Teeter, I wondered if he would cling close to me. The answer came quickly--it was as if the checkered flag had been waved. I barely caught a glimpse of him as he wheeled deep into Aisle 2. A glimpse of my reflection in a mirror offered a reasonable explanation. Was it me or Christoper Lloyd ("Back to the Future") staring back? I had dressed for my best impression of a crazed scientist or an old man recently escaped from confinement. Unkempt with much too long white hair was accented by my attempts to pass off bedroom slippers as real shoes. I much prefer sweat pants to slacks and yes, pulled well high as was the custom in the 1960s. My t-shirt read: "in the absence of horizontal thermal advection, diabactic processes determine precipitation type" - "geek speak" for will it be rain, sleet, or snow?

Okay then, I would keep my distance. However, Brian's whereabouts were easily traceable from his dropping items into our grocery basket--Fruity Pebbles, Vienna Cream Cookies, Edy's frozen lime Popsicles. As his items continued to fill the basket, the thought occurred to me--was he testing me in public? Would this crazed looking old guy tell the well-kept & nice looking young man in the wheel chair, enough already; put it back!

For our next outing, maybe a remote public park where no Fruity Pebbles are in reach would be a better venue? Maybe you all have ideas for Brian & Kermit's next outing on Brian's road into the future & on toward recovery?

In Memory of Savannah

2009-05-01T14:06:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to inform you all that little Savannah passed away early Thursday morning.

Thank you so much to so many of you who inquired about her periodically & prayed for her & her family.

Please continue to pray for Savannah's family as they process such a tremendous loss.

If you have moment, I encourage you to read her mother's post about Savannah's passing:

What a comfort to know that this special little girl is in no more pain & with her Savior...

What an amazing testimony of faith this family is for all of us during such a time of grief & tragedy...

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16).

Asking for Help

2009-04-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

First, I am sorry that it has been so long since my last post. My family & I have actually been down to Charlotte to see Brian a lot these past couple of months, trying to fit in as many visits as we can before the baby comes early June. I honestly don't know where the time has gone.

Brian continues to hang in there. About a month ago, he really seemed to be processing that a wheelchair may be part of his life for quite sometime. Obviously there is a lot of grieving involved in a loss such as this (or the gain of a necessary & cumbersome piece of equipment, rather). He continued making good efforts at physical therapy & was even getting out more--he's visited a biblical, loving church near the apartment, Church at Charlotte, a couple of times, made it out for a few meals, & even went for an appointment with the stylist that cuts his hair. One weekend we also hit Sports Connection, where he watched his nephew tear up some kiddie arcade basketball hoops. I even remember a close game of air hockey (I think Owen let Brian, I mean, Brian let Owen win. :). We even got him to the Charlotte Spinal Cord Injury Support Group that meets monthly. All of the people there are so wonderful in their willingness to help, share experiences, & positive attitudes in spite of their tragic stories. I know they are a tremendous support for my parents also.

Unfortunately, the momentum Brian was slowly starting to build kind of came to an abrupt halt. He's continued to hit setbacks that come with the territory of paralysis that temporarily keep him in bed more than we'd all hoped. It's been pretty frustrating for him & for all of us that love him to see him still facing such physical hardship. Admittedly, medical care, amazing as it is in this country, continues to be slow at times but with his dad's persistence, we are hopeful he's finally got the equipment & services he needs to heal & get on with life.

He is able to still do some minimal therapy & be up for short periods of time. This & a portable ramp built by my husband (which also doubled nicely as a great Matchbox car accessory for the kids), allowed us to have a nice Easter brunch last weekend at our wonderful aunt & uncle's home as a family. Don't get me wrong, Brian's one bedroom apartment is really nice--but it was so great to be in the beautiful home of some amazing family to celebrate Easter this year. Who knew his sister Leah could bake such a wonderful coconut cake & Myra actually knows how to work a stove?

Going through something like this made Easter so much more meaningful than ever before. There is so much pain, suffering, & sorrow in this world, no doubt, but we are so blessed to serve a God who loves us so much that he sacrificed Himself & conquered IT ALL for us to never have to experience it again.

These verses were part of my pastor's reading last night & for me just sums all this up:

And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, & He will dwell with them, & they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them & be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Then He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." And He said to me, "Write, for these words are true and faithful." And He said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha & the Omega, the Beginning & the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things, & I will be his God and he shall be My son (Revelation 21:3-7).

Knowing this just makes spring blooms that much bolder & brighter too.

We have so many people to thank as well, I just don't even know where to start. The generosity we've been shown is endless--from my parents being given a second car (A 1995 Ford Taurus that honestly runs like a champ & has a personality to boot!) to ease the sharing of one car for driving back & forth split shifts to stay with Brian to weekly meals by families from another wonderful Charlotte church, Forest Hill Church (Their timing is always a blessing too as they usually seem to deliver a meal when it's Brian & his dad :). Brian's also been given many items needed to furnish (& clean) an apartment. Really the list is endless. We are so thankful for all of your assistance & I know Brian himself plans to communicate that & how he is doing with all of you soon.

Yet in spite of all so many of you have already done, you ask to do more. So many of us have such a hard time admitting when we need help & being willing to take up others on that offer. I think that's why God advises us so much against pride. He honestly didn't make the rules outlined in the Bible to take the fun out of life (though I too, used to think that...). He made them to protect us from being hurt & unfilled. Pride keeps us from accepting the help we need--from Him, from others.

I remember one of the SCI support group attendees telling the story of being so excited she got her license & vehicle modifications to drive again. She loved the freedom of being able to just go to the grocery store. So she couldn't reach the cheese she wanted from the wheelchair? She simply waited till someone walked by & asked them to get it for her (Did I mention that the Bible also tells us that going through trials produces patience? James 1:2-4 ;). She got what she needed & often she found people enjoyed being able to help her in a way that was needed, real, & appreciated.

I see that same willingness in all of you & in so many strangers when we do go out with Brian (In his "scooter," as Owen calls it--we read a lot of Go, Dog. Go! around here.). We know & Brian is learning that in order for life to go on in spite of this loss, it's okay to ask for & accept the generous offers of others to help.

The overall financial hardship associated with spinal cord injuries is overwhelming. First year expenses alone average $283,388 and life expenses for paraplegics cost over $700,000 (National Spinal Cord Injury Statistical Center, 2009). We have set up a fundraising campaign for Brian through the Catastrophic Injury Program of the National Transplant Assistance Fund (NTAF). This money will be used for recovery therapies, medical equipment to lead to greater independence, & therapies that promote Brian's health.

Brian's NTAF page can be accessed directly or by visiting www.catastrophicfund.org & typing "Keeter" in the box on the lefthand side of the page. In the near future, we also will be starting a website to keep you more regularly posted of Brian's progress in addition to some periodic updates through the blog. On the webpage, we will also include a pdf copy of the letter posted on Brian's NTAF page that you may download to pass on to those you know who might be moved to give in Brian's situation. I will be sure to let you know when the webpage is up & running.

We are so grateful not only for any financial, tax-deductible donations you make on Brian's behalf but also any volunteer fundraising efforts with which you would be able to spearhead or assist. If you are interested in facilitating a fundraising event, please feel free to call Brian's parents at 919.413.3563 or email us at bkrecover@gmail.com. Part of NTAF services include a personal representative (Susann Reiher, 800.642.8399, sreiher@transplantfund.org) to also assist in ideas & materials for fundraising purposes specifically for Brian & his situation with whom you may also speak directly.

Again, thank you isn't enough to express how indebted we are to all of your love, support, generosity, & prayers. We thank you for continuing to be so interested & concerned with Brian, even four months after this life changing event first transpired.

New Digs

2009-03-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

Well, Brian's officially had his 1st week or so out of the hospital & in the apartment. For those of you wanting to continue send him well-wishes & making the effort to visit, both of which are always much appreciated & encouraging:

Brian Keeter
4441 Mullens Ford Road
Apt. A
Charlotte, NC 28226

He will be based in the apartment the next few months while he pursues intensive outpatient therapy. We will be visiting him next week but I hear from his sister, Leah, who spent last weekend with him & his parents (who are staying with him temporarily while he continues to adjust & becomes more independent), that it is a nice place. It is also close to the hospital.

Again, thank you to those of you who help with the move in the many ways that you do. I also want to let those who have inquired know that we still plan to start an NTAF fund for Brian to allow those interested in donating financially to facilitate his medical care & rehab expenses not covered by insurance or Medicaid. Brian's dad very much wants everyone to understand exactly what it is they would be contributing to & continues to work to compile materials to help explain what physical therapies, equipment, & other expenses with which Brian could use assistance. As soon as he is ready, I will share the links to those materials here.

Brian's currently doing therapy three times a week at Carolinas Rehab but supplements this by taking advantage of the "free" work-out times without a therapist or appointment to work out on his own as well. Next week, he will take an official tour of Race to Walk in Mooresville, where he also will have therapy while in Charlotte. Finally, he's officially on the approximate month-long wait list to start the well-respected & intensive therapy program at the Shepherd Center in Atlanta. Brian is fortunate enough to have some great family & friends in that area as well to help keep him company when Shepherd has the space for him to attend. All three of these places have graciously agreed to coordinate together to streamline Brian's therapy routines, maximizing even more hopes for a strong physical recovery.

As for apartment living, Brian, being Brian, won't tell you much, though he will say it is a lot harder than he ever thought it would be. He needs help with a lot more than he realized (Note this is also coming from someone with a spinal cord injury who left the rehab hospital significantly stronger & much more capable than many other patients in similar circumstances do, according to many of the therapists with whom he worked closely.).

Just prior to his release, they discovered an atypical bone growth in his hip, for which he is receiving therapy & medication that has unfortunately hindered his progress. Apparently, this sort of growth is normal for such circumstances; however, it will take some time before medicine & therapy combat the stiffness it creates in his leg, making it that much harder for him to maneuver.

His spirits are understandably up & down as can be expected & he remains in a lot of pain. He has been told by many sources that the sooner you start recovery efforts, the greater the chances are for more recovery. We won't know for quite sometime what mobility benefits he'll regain from intensive therapy but for now he has committed to making this his focus the next few months--as much as resources & time allow.

I'm going to be blunt & say that I know many of you honestly think that life in a wheelchair would be worse than a death sentence (including Brian at times), but I firmly disagree. Not only have we learned of so many personal stories of hope, success, & perseverance in spite of from volunteers at the hospital & some notable public figures, but I know that God saved Brian's life for a purpose & that he's not finished here (Romans 8:28). I've really seen Brian working hard, trying to be more positive & to trust in the Lord, particularly in the last few days. These are, for me, some answered prayers.

He did exit the hospital with what I think is some exciting news though (He'd probably roll his eyes to read this--but, that's Brian, right?). You may recall that he started in the rehab hospital with an injury at T-10 & T-11. They did one final assessment before he left & determined his new injury at T-11 & T-12, one step down from the initial diagnosis! He also experiences some tingling in his legs & feet following his sessions on the functional electronic stimulation bike. Hey, no one said this would happen overnight, & it may not happen here, but we know it will happen someday (Isaiah 35:6).

With all Brian has been going through & the other personal accounts we see around us of people we know, love, or admire experiencing unimaginable suffering & hope (I'm sure many of you read the recent news article on Rodney Rogers), I've been reflecting a lot recently again on prayer. I'll be honest. I'm not good at praying. I'm easily distracted & I sometimes just don't know what to ask, just to name a couple of issues (So I really love that the Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf, Romans 8:26 & that God, in His infinite knowledge, also knows my needs, Matthew 6:8--there's actually a bunch of great stuff on praying in this chapter.). As such, God's just really spoken to me personally through some daily studies, sermons by my pastor, & teachings by his wife that tell me I need to make it more of a priority.

I attempted (via texting, of course) to try & explain prayer to my brother a couple of weeks ago. I know God answers prayer, not just from my experience when pregnant with my son, being told he may not survive the pregnancy (He's a thriving 19-month old now!) & not even knowing if my brother would live (He's recovering!), but also from the Bible. In 1 John 5:14-15, we are told:

Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.

Prayers are how we talk to God. God always hears our prayers, I mean, He's God! The bigger issue & I think is when we confuse God's ability to hear with our ability to hear & accept His answers.

Just as we talk to God through our prayers, He talks to us through His Word (John 1:1-3, 14). God also is a gentleman who respects our free agency. Though always possible, I think most Christians would say that He rarely speaks to us personally with a booming voice preceded by thunder & lightning. It makes me think of the story of Elijah. He'd done all these amazing things for God & for whatever reason, threats on his life from Jezebel sent him running for the hills, praying for God to take his life. When God spoke to Him to find out why he was hiding, it wasn't through the strong wind, or the earthquake, or the fire, it was in "a still, small voice" that came after all of these things. Thankfully, Elijah had been in the mountains long enough that he was tuned out from the cares of the world enough to hear Him (1 Kings 19:12).

We, too, have to block out the distractions of the world to both speak to & hear God. That can be really hard to do. We also have to be willing to accept the answers to our prayers. It might be no when we want yes. It could be wait, when we want answers now.

Bottom line, there's nothing wrong with asking for a miracle. God hears that request & loves for you to speak with him not matter what. You just have be prepared to listen for His answers & trust that they are in His love. Some people get their miracles (such as the many miracles of Jesus that are just too lengthy to list) & some don't (2 Corinthians 12:9). Even Jesus asked God for another way to save us all from our sins, though when told no, he accepted God's answer & that His will would be done. I think it's also interesting to note, that even though God said no, he still sent an angel to comfort & strengthen Jesus as that dark & painful hour approached (Luke 22:42-43).

I am also finding that God uses the testimony of others in suffering to also strengthen my desire to be more diligent in prayer. Take for instance, Savannah.

I know her mom has been so busy dealing with the day to day doings that follow being told your sweet, innocent, beautiful nine year old daughter is going to die, perhaps any day now, from an incurable mitochondrial disease that may also affect your other small children as well, that she hasn't kept the blog as frequently updated. I've been blessed to get some emails that more regularly update me about her situation. To sum it up, that initial medical prognosis was about a month ago.

Well, just last week, her family has been learning how to take care of her at home so that she may be released...not in perfect health mind you, but in good enough shape to receive care at home, & spend some quality time with her family before she returns to her heavenly home (2 Corinthians 5:8). Please keep praying for them as they continue to hit roadblocks such as infections & fevers that seem to hamper the progress Savannah is making to allow her some quality time with family & friends before she passes. Please also know that her family repeatedly asserts they know this quality time with the Savannah is an answered prayer from God. Even more amazing, they commit themselves to enjoying every minute of it before she returns home with the Lord rather than dwelling on the understandable hurts & the whys. I cannot tell you how their unwavering faith so strengthens me.

Thank you as always for your continued interest & support in Brian's journey & please continue to pray for him, for Savannah, for Rodney, their families & the countless others we know enduring...

REVISED Release Date: 03.05.09

2009-03-02T16:59:00.000-08:00

So, with the weekend rain & early morning snow, Brian's release has been postponed to Thursday, March 5th.

Many thanks to all of those working around the weather to help move in some heavy furniture this week.

Will be sure to let you know how it goes...

Release Date: 03.03.09

2009-02-28T11:12:00.000-08:00

Assuming nothing monumental happens over this weekend, Brian is set to be released from Carolinas Rehab on Tuesday, March 3rd, marking the end to an 80-day hospital stay. Though he's understandably daunted by leaving a world where wheelchairs are the norm for one where they are anything but, I think at the same time he's grown weary of the hospital setting.

Again, I have to constantly remind myself to look back to day 1 of this 80-day journey so far & thank God for even getting us here. It doesn't hurt to remind him & all of us, especially when we feel so bummed out by what he's facing & how he's feeling, that he shouldn't even be alive. God has been so faithful in answering our prayers & giving Brian outcomes greater than ever anticipated by so many medical experts thus far.

I pray everyday that Brian will come to see how God has interceded in Brian's life in answer to our prayers (he honestly has no memory at all of more than half of this extended hospital stay) & encourage Brian to experience first hand what God will do for him--not just physically but even more importantly, spiritually--as he comes to lean more on Him as well.

[Through] the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. [They are] new every morning; Great [is] Your faithfulness. "The LORD [is] my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I hope in Him!" The LORD [is] good to those who wait for Him, To the soul [who] seeks Him. [It is] good that [one] should hope and wait quietly For the salvation of the LORD (Lamentations 3:22-26).

I really love those verses. Really, really do.

Next week, Brian will be moving into a small, one bedroom apartment not far from the hospital to try life in Charlotte the next few months. His dad & other family members will most likely be spending a good deal of time with him initially (yes, in a one bedroom apartment--yikes ;), helping him adjust & get settled. From what I understand, with the help of one of the doctors, his dad arranged for the complex to install an iron gate that will close off the apartment's small patio so that Rocco (his Rottweiler mix--the dog that was supposed to be so tough but is about as dopey & lovable as they get, sorry Brian, had to say it ;) can spend some time there with him also. It's been a long time since Rocco & Brian have been together--reunited & it feels so good, right?

Thanks, as always, to those of you who have already been so helpful in securing some much-needed items for Brian's apartment. Though he had been planning to move in with a friend before the accident, he had been staying with family in Charlotte for awhile trying to secure more steady employment in commercial real estate, so he definitely appreciates the assistance in equipping a place of his own.

This move truly marks a new phase in Brian's journey, one we can expect to be rocky, at best, for quite sometime, particularly for the first year. The hospital stay was all about rehabilitating him from the trauma of the accident & learning how to live with paralysis--no easy tasks, no doubt--but also nothing compared to the recovery journey that lies ahead.

Once released, Brian will be taking part in ongoing outpatient therapy meant to help him regain as much use of his lower body as possible given the severity of the spinal compression--the true initiation of recovery. Most of his therapy will continue at Carolinas Rehab in Charlotte. Unfortunately, insurance & Medicaid only pay so much of this process, most insurance companies consider their responsibilities complete with the discharge from rehab & successful transition to life in a wheelchair. Thus, the rest is often left up to the patient to find a way to cover.

Thus, he & his dad also will begin looking into what programs are available both locally & nationally to help him really recover what he's lost. I'm sure Brian's dad could tell you a lot more than I can, but in summary, for now they are leaning towards exercise-based therapy programs founded upon the premise that the spinal cord is a much more intelligent organ than given credit & that getting people with paralysis out of their chairs & moving in ways they used to helps it remember how to do a lot of the things it forgot.

For those interested, here are some examples of programs & facilities that offer the sort of things they would be looking into:

Project Walk (San Diego, CA)
Shepherd Center (Atlanta, GA)
Race to Walk (Mooresville, NC--& just a cool story about an NC family who recently started this program after experiencing their own paralyzing catastrophe).

Brian also will need access to some rather expensive & specialized equipment, once again, not often covered by insurance. Once he & his dad get settled this week following his discharge, I hope to post more specifics on all of this for all of you so generously wanting to help.

Of course, I also will be sure to let you all know how the "roomies" are doing.

Finally, I must say thanks once again to all of you for your ongoing support & prayers for Brian, these gestures are so incredibly integral to his difficult recovery journey.

Sprung for Valentine's Day

2009-02-16T11:34:00.000-08:00

This weekend was another visit of ups & downs, I think. Probably the unexpected course to expect for the next few months (at least) as Brian & those who love & support him continue to adjust to life with a spinal cord injury.

Initially the rehab center planned to release Brian mid-February; however, last week they decided to keep him until sometime next week. I'm hesitant to state dates because they are constantly changing (& he hit a couple minor health snags that should be resolved before that time but if not, will postpone his discharge) though I'll be sure to let everyone know when that release date does actually seem approaching & concrete.

In the meantime you can continue to reach him through the Carolinas Rehab Hospital though be sure to check with the front reception desk for his room. He was moved to another room last week (One they first planned to place him & three other patients in--he & his dad quickly advocated for that situation & were able to secure him another private room.) as they begin massive construction in this part of the facilities.

Owen, Brian T., & I got in to Charlotte in time to get Brian out for dinner in the main hospital cafeteria along with a high school friend of Brian's who stopped by on her way out of town Friday evening. Brian seemed in decent spirits, it doesn't hurt to watch 18-month old Owen go screeching, toddling, screeching, running, screeching, falling, screeching, & jumping through the long tunnel you take to reach the main hospital building (It's those great echos, I think.). And though a rehab gym isn't high on many people's most exciting places to be list--let me tell you--it's a veritable gymboree heaven for a toddler, especially playing with his grandpa.

Brian had planned to spend most of Saturday morning apartment hunting in Charlotte with my parents & aunt. He was understandably pensive about how it was going to go--getting in & out of the car for frequent stops & for the 1st time with a wheelchair. Unfortunately, some pretty severe pain issues (more severe than he'd experienced in quite sometime though his upper body muscles are in a lot of tight soreness from working them all the time) that morning kept the doctor from feeling comfortable to release him to go.

Though he was daunted by the realities of this outing, I think he ended the day more frustrated at the pain & setbacks than anything, which I think can be seen as good progress in his recovery & adjustment. Just last week, I don't think he was ready to leave the familiarity of the hospital setting, this weekend I noticed a much more intense desire to just get out of there & get on with it, even though he's not anywhere near the physical healing he'd like.

Given the cabin fever, Eliana, Brian T., Owen, & I--with Brian's full cooperation--sprung him for Valentine's Day dinner out. The rebels we were, we didn't even check him out (& funny enough when we got back so many staff who've grown so found of Brian were all quite excited to hear that he'd gone).

Given our limited options within walking distance of the hospital, we made our way to Outback. After an hour wait, we got a perfect table & had a very nice dinner, one where I think all of us sorta forgot all we've been through two months ago to the very day. Logistically, it wasn't even that bad to pull off. Admittedly, I found the glances at "that disabled guy" as Brian so poetically expressed it much more minimal & friendly than I honestly expected. I guess it helps that we don't see him that way anyway, I mean, he's our Brian.

All in all, I consider it a great success. I mean, we picked his 1st non-rehab related outing to be at peak dinner hour, on a Saturday night, on Valentine's Day no less! I think it was a confidence booster for him. If that went as smoothly as it did, maybe he just doesn't have so much too worry about after all...

(I do have a confession to make though--we left with a few items we did not start with: Owen stole the waiter's pen & Brian unknowingly lifted his table linen. We didn't notice the linen till we were clear out the door! Oops. ;)

Typically, I must admit that I do not care in the least for Valentine's Day, but this one was quite an exception. When your son comes toddling in out of nowhere, hands you a card & a box of candy, well, that's just heart-warming (Thanks, Daddy.). When you have the opportunity to go to dinner & witness the genuine love between your shouldn't-even-be-alive brother & his absolutely-amazing-&-adorable girlfriend, well, that's heart melting. Even Owen was so touched, I think he literally crawled across the table at least twice to kiss his "Uncle Sad." (Long story, reference the Said No Better post :).

It makes me think to of how there are so many references to God's love in the Bible--not just the New Testament. He repeatedly begs those in the Old Testament to turn back from their sinful ways & into His loving arms, that he'd forgive them but for whatever reason, we just can't do it. We can't do it but he loves us even still & so He's done it for us. That's why God provided us the sacrifice of His Son.

I know Brian is trying to reconcile his new life with the concept of a loving God. I think a lot of us impacted by Brian's accident, believers or not, struggle with the same thing. There are so many wonderful ways to explore this concept:

To pray that God reveal Himself to you, which He does through the Bible (John 1:14, Matthew 4:4, Luke 11:28, & Hebrews 4:12, just to name a few.) (My vote as the way to get the most results.)

To seek out others experiencing suffering but also believing in God's love & purpose. For example, I read the FAQs on the Joni & Friend's web page in the car home yesterday (I previously & mistakenly identified Joni Eareckson Tada as becoming a quadriplegic from a car accident, it was actually a diving accident.). If not able to read the whole thing, please scroll down to the Disability & the Subject of Healing section. She's a powerful testimony for us all, no doubt.

To attend a church or listen to pastoral teachings that will help motivate & grow your faith. Any church that focuses on Biblical teachings is a great place to start.

Just to name a few.

The simplest one though? Just remember the cross.

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends...No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you (John 15:13, 15).

When you feel you've been dealt a rough hand in life, that life doesn't matter, & no one cares, all you have to do is bring yourself back to that cross.

Thank you all again for the love you continue to show Brian & our family. Please check back soon as I will be updating with information about Brian's potential upcoming discharge once we know more.

Also, so many of you have been insistent about wanting to contribute to Brian financially (& so many of you already have so generously given, especially considering economic circumstances right now). We are in the process this week of setting up a tax-deductible, medical-expense based account in Brian's honor with a highly recommended organization that will also work with those creative, ambitious, & wishing to facilitate various fund-raising events. The link to that information will also be posted here.

Finally, some of you may recall the little girl, Savannah, I mentioned earlier in the blog. She had started to show some signs of improvement & the doctors were appearing to possibly be closer to a diagnosis. However, I just learned that she is showing some more serious symptoms once again that has warranted replacing the breathing tube & putting her back into pediatric intensive care. As you remember & pray for Brian, please also pray for her health & for the strength of her family. Like Joni Tada, they are another amazing testimony of faith in God's will during incomprehensibly difficult situations.

Tough Decisions

2009-02-02T16:24:00.001-08:00

Again, thank you so much for your ongoing prayers, love, & support. Brian continues to be shocked at the number of cards, care packages, telephone calls, & visits from people he had no idea cared about him so much.

Apparently he hosted quite a party the weekend before last in his little, tiny rehab hospital room & this weekend there was a steady stream of company as there always is during the week too.

Brian knows how fortunate he is to have you all encouraging him & as he would do, he's reached out to some other patients who aren't so fortunate, sharing his support & yours with them also (& a glimpse of that humor too, if you're lucky:).

Again, thank you, thank you, thank you! We cannot thank you on his & our behalf enough. Thank you!

He continues to do the rehabilitation placed before him--therapy helping him learn to be self-sufficient, comfortable moving himself, building back the strength he lost from being bed-ridden for a month, & the strength he'll need to adjust. His physical strength continues to be impressive & quite an asset for him on this seemingly incomprehensible learning curve.

They have ordered a wheelchair for him & finally got a temporary one to replace the chair he's been using the past three weeks. The one he's had to use was just horrible--didn't turn well, offered no back support at all, & I'm sure Brian could tell you more things it did wrong & didn't do right. I know the shortcomings of the equipment are 100% legit (I've seen it) but I also know the fact he's having to learn & plan to use one when he leaves is utterly crushing.

Mentally & spiritually, he is trying so hard & still working through the grieving process of his loss. We are optimistic that he'll continue to regain some sensation & use, but we know it will be a long journey & he'll have to focus on the other parts of life that are equally, if not more important, to helping him fully heal at the same time.

He'll tell you he has ups & downs. This past weekend was a little more full of downs but even his downs aren't as low as many of us would go. And again, who wouldn't have their moments?

We know he can have a full life without 100% use of his body & we all hope for the day he feels sure of that possibility too, but for now, it's almost harder to see him wrestle with this side of things than it is to see him have to endure the immense physical pain. He is trying to so hard to be strong not just for him but for all of us too.

Brian has a medical team meeting again this week & they are floating a release date mid-February. Of course, this is more insurance-driven than anything, quite a commentary on the state of health care in this country. A system that has unarguably has the best resources in the world & we still aren't nearly as effective as we should be in helping a person heal. Grrr, I digress...

At this point, he has decided that he wants very much to remain close to Eliana & continue/restart life in Charlotte. It's a brave decision as the resources to help him stay are even more limited than they would be if he came to live with family in Raleigh, speaking volumes of his determination to try & make the best of life post-accident.

I know he & Eliana mean so much to each other (& to one another's families) & honestly, I admire them both so much for the sacrifices they are preparing to make & the willingness to face so many unknowns together. As Brian has a long road still ahead of him, we thank you for continuing to make efforts to stay connected to him even when he remains in Charlotte. Please also pray that God's hand will be upon the medical team meeting this week as they explore options for Brian & that He provides Brian & Eliana with the strength & support they need as well.

On another note, we've learned of some helpful online resources that some of you all might find useful with regard to understanding the world of spinal cord injuries:

Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation
Unite 2 Fight Paralysis
Brain & Spinal Cord.org

One other important thing I wanted to share was another Days of Praise devotional that really spoke to me, particularly with regard to the difficult issue of suffering.

These free subscription email/snail mail devotionals are one of many things done by the Institute of Creation Research, an organization devoted to demonstrating the Bible's accuracy & authority through scientific research, educational programs, & more, particularly in how creation & science overwhelmingly point to the Creator embodied in the Bible.

Anyway, to sum up this devotional, Fitly Framed Together, & just to put it in the heads of those of you might end up reading the rest of this post but wouldn't dare click the full link ;):

When you enter into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you are given eternal life. Right there. On the spot. Done deal. No waiting till you get to heaven to see if you got it. No having to do or not do things to achieve it (John 17:3).

That said, we all have a special role we will learn of when we meet God face to face based on what happens here. In God's presence, we'll comprise His church. Paul uses the analogy of being part of a great building with Jesus Christ as the chief cornerstone in order to help us understand something beyond our realm in a way we can fathom (Ephesians 2:13-20) (A technique seen in studying the layers of the Bible & as a good friend of mine recently noted: Hello!?! That's why Jesus spoke in so many parables.).

Each stone has a special role in this building. Stones of various shapes, sizes, etc. are all vital in its completion.

In the temple building that's written about in the Old Testament, all the cutting, molding, & chiseling of the temple stones was done in the quarry, so only the perfected pieces were brought back to the building site for inclusion. That's what is happening here. We are being perfected into our special place as God grows our faith through life's circumstances & trials. When we leave here, we're ready to serve (Revelation 7:15-17).

That said, we know that believers faced with trials & sufferings, like Brian, are being asked to grow their faith & are going to turn out to be very important pieces of this temple--& rightfully so!

Sci-fi stuff for a lot of you, I know...It's like there's got to be forces at work here because those of us who so wholeheartedly believe this believe it as much as those who wholeheartedly don't, don't.

God's got a special place for each & every believer & that's what we're here to work on. This world is just preparation in a temporary setting for its application in eternity (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

I just take so much comfort in this, it's a comfort that grows with each passing day I spend time learning more about our God, & a comfort I pray will help strengthen & encourage Brian too.

Getting Him Back

2009-01-23T17:03:00.000-08:00

Brian's working so hard in rehab. He's faced with learning to gain his independence in ways so many of us cannot even begin to comprehend. He's trying hard to make sense of it all, see the potential for goodness in his loss, to grow his faith in & his understanding of the Lord. Thankfully & as can be expected from our God, I believe we see the Lord responding.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer & supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; & the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts & minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

As we continue to lean on Him, God continues to answer our prayers & grow our faith in His assertion that He is a kind & loving God, with a plan for all of us that surpasses all earthly knowledge & understanding.

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom & knowledge of God! How unsearchable [are] His judgments, & His ways past finding out! For who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has become His counselor? Or who has first given to him, & it shall be repaid to him again? For of Him & through Him & to Him [are] all things, to whom [be] glory forever. Amen (Romans 11:33-36).

Brian & my parents participated in their 1st medical treatment team meeting yesterday & like so many of you, the staff integral in his recovery (doctors, nurses, physical therapists, occupational therapists, & the list goes on) echo a special fondness they have found for him too, though they can't say what exactly it is for sure that draws them to him.

I don't think I can either, but I'm going to give it a try:

One recent memory that embodies my brother was right after I had Owen & before Brian moved to Charlotte. I'm going to be honest--motherhood was (& still is) NOT a natural adjustment for me. Owen was a "high-needs" baby (the more pc term, old school baby books refer to this temperament as demanding & difficult). I was (& still can be) a very selfish new mom, so we were obviously not an ideal combination (Yet one that God uses to teach me so much!). I remember Brian calling one day to see how things were going & I burst into tears, (probably for about the 5th time that morning), told him how horrible the morning was & through snot-laden sobs rambled about how much I just wanted to eat & take a shower.

Not interrupting me even once during my lame fit of self-pity, Brian then calmly offered (in that way he can where his voice kindly implies he just doesn't see what the big deal is, the answer seems so obvious) to bring me lunch & watch Owen, though he admitted he had no idea what he was doing. He gets here with a couple of sandwiches, I cautiously hand him Owen, & run. When I finish cleaning up, I walk out to find Owen sleeping peacefully in Brian's arms...

Brian is genuinely interested in helping people. He has a presence & poise that often says a lot without him saying hardly a word. He has a quiet strength about him that impresses. He is loyal, respectful, patient, & supportive. He is a person, (& a male at that!), who actually listens. He always seems to handle intense pressure with amazing grace. He's also pretty darn funny too.

Yeah, so you might notice I left out athlete. Athlete has been a big part of his identity for so long & maybe it still will be when all this is said & done, but it doesn’t really define who Brian is anyway. Don't get me wrong, the natural strength & athleticism he possesses (that his nephew also shows signs of) are blessings that will serve him well as he heals & makes physical gains. However, when we all think about what it is that makes an impression on us with Brian, the word athlete just doesn't begin to cover it...it was the exposure he got as an athlete that allowed so many to see these truly special characteristics, characteristics that remain intact to who he is & that I know God will build upon, no matter what the final package might be.

Of course, Brian's participation in the medical meeting? Apologizing for complaining too much. Apparently the team was taken aback with this response. First, I doubt many people suffering a spinal cord injury roll into their first meeting apologizing for feeling a little angry & bummed about things. I mean, Job repeatedly wishes he'd never been born while enduring all the tragedies he faced (Job 3 & Job 10). (So, even if you are a complainer, like I admittedly can be, thankfully God thinks no less of you when you take those concerns to Him). Second, apparently in the spectrum of patients with spinal cord injury--Brian's hardly what they consider a complainer. Need I say more about those parts of his personality that touch so many of us?

Brian already has such a foundation for God to use to touch so many lives. The more Brian comes to learn about & trust Jesus Christ, even when faced with situations as painful as his, we know that the Holy Spirit will work to grow those fundamentals of who he is into so much more.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law (Galatians 5:22-23).

The Awakening

2009-01-19T16:55:00.000-08:00

I think we can say this was the weekend the switch got flipped (For finding cliches annoying, I've resorted to using them a lot lately, yikes!). In speaking with Brian, it seems that honestly before Thursday, January 15th, his memory of anything starting with the weekend of the 12.14.08 car accident is spotty, at best.

It was intense to be there as he really just started to grasp circumstances we've all had the luxury of knowing & processing for a month now. My husband noted that though it's gotta be hard for Brian to have to accept our accounts as the most he'll ever know about the past month of his life (Um, you should have been dead, was repeated often, I think.), it's probably another blessing that trauma victims are not aware of much that goes on initially, as it gives all of us who need to support him some much needed time to get over all our issues & be that much stronger in our faith & answers to his questions.

He still remains in so much pain. From what I understand, almost every little bone in his back is broken in addition to the broken ribs & titanium rod to get used to. Don't forget, they had such trouble stabilizing him initially, when they investigated internally for damaged organs (via a huge incision in his abdomen, which miraculously, [per the OR doctor] revealed no spleen or sections of his pancreas had to be removed), there was severe bruising & fluid leakage that also has to heal. Despite the severe & ongoing pain, he's trying his best to cooperate with eating & therapy exercises (Exercises that only make him hurt that much more as he works core muscles in ways he's never had to.). Some medically good news though: he did get the trach out Friday! He's got an annoying patch over his throat but that will most likely be removed & healed next week.

Anyway, with the awakening, we said goodbye to Julio. I think Eliana bringing her mom on Saturday prompted Brian's request for the tools for a good shave. He did a super job, given the junky razor he was provided & looked quite handsome this weekend, I think.

Brian also got moved into a different room (with the view of a fabulous concrete patio--one possibly covered in snow tomorrow?) & his cell signal's better so go ahead--text & call away--but don't get him too distracted from his therapy (bossy older sister kicking in, sorry)!

I want to continue to thank you for all your visits & support. We've told him so much about all those who have made their love & prayers known on his behalf but since he's only running on memories post 01.15.09, now's the time to remind him you're here. That said, here's how to reach him once again:

Visiting Hours:
M-F 4-9
Sat-Sun 12-9

Mailing Address:
Brian Keeter, patient
Carolinas Rehabilitation
1100 Blythe Blvd
Charlotte, NC 28203

As I said, he's trying to stay motivated to work through the pain but it's really hard for him. I know so many of you are busy but I'll be honest--if you can spare some time to come & see him, please do, especially during the week (Though weekends are fine too!). He's such a respectful guy, that if he knows people are coming to see him, even if he's been up in the wheelchair for the minimum the therapists request him to, he'll fight through the pain & stay up to visit with a friend, which results in much needed strengthening for him in this recovery (unless it's past dinner, then he's understandably done with the chair for the day ;). Also, if you can think of any food he might eat, feel free to pick something up--for you & him to eat together. The hospital food honestly isn't bad but...

Though he was hurting intensely, particularly on Sunday, he agreed to a field trip out of the rehab center, down through the underground tunnel, & into the main hospital cafeteria for lunch with about ten of us. It's probably been the most "normal" thing he's done thus far & it was great to see him surrounded by people who care so much about him having "normal" conversations. Definitely a highlight from the weekend.

As always, it was so hard to say goodbye but I know he's in good hands with Eliana, my parents, his Charlotte friends & family, & those of you who always seem to find a way to drive down for a visit during the week--& most importantly through building a relationship with the God who saved his life.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9).

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid (John 14:27).

I spoke with him on the phone for just a moment this afternoon & was encouraged by his determined attitude, one I know God is providing as an answer to Brian's & so many of our prayers.

Meet Julio

2009-01-15T17:26:00.001-08:00

From the bits & pieces I got today, Brian seems to have had a pretty good day!

He was awake & upright for most of the day, which is a leap of progress from where he was even just yesterday in terms of working through the pain. Maybe, just maybe, he's seeking the Lord, who implores us to place upon Him so many of our burdens (Matthew 11:28-30)?

(It also reminds me of a daily devotional I read earlier this week that I get from RBC Ministries. This one, entitled The Bible's School of Prayer gives a few short Biblical examples of how God wants us to be honest with Him in prayer, even when we're angry, complaining, & asking why...now that's a loving God!)

Before today, my parents were having a hard time getting him to stay sitting up in the wheelchair as long as the therapists wanted him too. In fact, I forgot to recap a funny story from the other day:

I called one afternoon earlier this week to see if I could catch him. My mom answered & though he was in the room, she didn't hand him the phone because he was in so much pain & wanted to get back in bed. Being the sassy (Bossy?, Any other adjectives you guys, Brian, Leah, & Myra? Wait, don't answer that...) older sister I'm probably known among my three siblings to be, I said you might as well put him on, what else is he going to do? He definitely told me he was in a lot of pain. He even got so frustrated with how much he hurt, that he told me he had to go, handed my mom the phone, & wheeled himself out of the room to find someone who would help him get out of that chair. My mom had to let me go so she could follow him!

(But he is a very good brother & remembered to call me back the next day.)

My dad's approach to getting Brian to stay in the chair has been a little different but quite effective as well. He used to play this role with us a lot when we were really little, I've seen him do it with his neighbor's small children & with his grandson now too. He'll feign dumb to get a rise out of small kids & decided to try that route with Brian when he was hanging out with him in the chair. When Brian started asking to go back to the room to lie down, my dad continued to "get lost" on where Brian's room was, getting Brian deeper & further into the bowels of the building till Brian got so fed up, he wheeled himself in the right direction. Whatever works, right?

Apparently, the physical pain is the biggest hurdle he's facing right now...dealing with not just a spine injury but all the other broken bones & such from the accident. For those of you who've been in a hospital situation where you are asked to rate the pain...this will help put it in context...Brian seems to stay at a constant "8," which the medical folks say sounds right for someone with his injuries. Their goal is to get him feeling more like a "2" before he's released. I just can't imagine being on that high on the pain scale all the time.

I've been able to talk with him on his room phone a couple times now this week & the fog seems to just lift that much more each day as well, such a blessing! He continues to have greatly supportive visitors, both in Charlotte & from all over, coming to see him. Some visitors last night & today are answered prayers that I know are planting some great seeds to help Brian make sense of all of this (1 Corinthians 3:5-7). Eliana, in addition to bringing some of these seed-sowers, also brought him some Chipotle Grill last night, which he apparently ate quite well...& he even still ate some breakfast this morning. So, we know he's trying hard to work through all of this!

Julio, Julio? What does that have to do with anything. Not much really.

I heard he & my dad got (matching, uh oh?) haircuts at the hospital today though apparently Brian is growing a "Mexican-esque moustache thing" that he's not quite ready to let go of just yet. Eliana says she's calling him Julio till it goes. So, maybe, just maybe we've still got some more fog to lift, after all.

I know Myra, Brian T, Owen, & I can't wait to spend the weekend with Julio or Brian...Nos vemos manana, Jul!

A Sleeker Model

2009-01-13T17:01:00.000-08:00

Brian continues making needed progress. He had the smallest trach inserted today, which most importantly means he is breathing all his own air through his own mouth & nose. If all goes well the next two days, the trach will be removed entirely!

My dad said it well: In about a month, Brian went from countless tubes (while on the brink of death) to needing no tubes. For you, when you read this Brian--God is being faithful to you!!!

Though he wasn't happy about it, he spent a good two hours in the "sleeker" wheelchair today, one that doesn't recline like the monster truck model does (for dizziness, which he didn't have at all in the sportier version today). It really hurts his back because it provides him with a lot less support but it's the progress he has to make in order to move on with his life. He swears he's not getting in it again but thanks to trauma fog & such, we doubt he'll remember when they get him to do it again tomorrow.

He still doesn't like eating, though I know he ate an entire meal for Eli the other day (& drank half of that awful Ensure they're always sticking on those plates, now that's a miracle) & my dad got him to eat a good breakfast and some lunch earlier today after not doing so hot on this assignment yesterday.

From what I hear, he seems to be growing more aware of what's going on each passing day & in a more depressed, frustrated sort of way. They are trying to get him interested in doing some things other than just watching tv & hope to have his laptop up & running here soon.

Brian remains so blessed to continue to be the recipient of such generous outpourings of support...a fairly steady stream of Charlotte & Raleigh visitors, financial donations, & nameless other vital provisions meeting his numerous needs.

Speaking of outpourings of support, thank you all for your prayers, comments, & support for little Savannah. My heart has been so touched to see those of you reaching out to another family in need of your love. It has honestly been one of the high points of this current step in Brian's recovery thus far.

Savannah is hanging on, they think her most recent severe episodes were the result of septic shock, which can be fatal though hopefully they've caught it soon enough for it not to be so. The doctors also are becoming more convinced it is an underlying mitochondrial disease. They are sending a frozen sample to be tested at a larger hospital, which isn't quite as accurate as a live sample, but a start. Savannah just isn't stable enough to travel to the out of state hospital that specializes in this sort of thing & her family will have the financial burden of the testing & travel to consider when the time comes as well.

I've been reading a little bit recently on the biblical perspective of suffering. Now might be a good a time as ever to share one verse that really speaks to my husband & me.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials (James 1:2).

Greg Laurie gives the example of Paul & Silas to help us understand what it means to have "joy" in trials.

Paul & Silas were traveling, preaching the gospel, & starting churches. They ran into trouble when sharing the message of Jesus Christ resulted in some shady business guys losing their means for profit. They were beaten severely & basically chained in a dungeon.

Rather than sit there & curse God asking him, "Why?," (Which is what I probably would have done initially.) they chose to pray & sing hymns Acts 16:20-25 (You really ought to link to the whole story, it's a pretty intense, but quick read from start to finish).

The point?

Having joy in trials doesn't just happen. It isn't because Christians freakishly look forward to trials; however, what does make us different is that we have a hope, a hope unseen by those living by the standards of the world (Romans 8:24), which is probably why we might look like freaks sometimes.

It is a:
Hope not seen but known in a Loving God who sent His Son, saved us, & in this gift comforts & sustains us (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17). Hope that lives in us every day through the Holy Spirit, bringing us joy & peace (Romans 15:13). Hope that draws us closer to Him in mind & in our actions, providing for our every need (James 1:3-6).

Yes, Hope sustains. Hope brings us joy, even in trials.

I know Savannah's family would agree, that it is a blessing to have support from others seeking to maintain the joy in life's trials.

Helping Others

2009-01-11T16:51:00.000-08:00

Brian continues to show such strength & heart as he endures this transformational journey!

The big medical news this weekend is they anticipate being able to replace his current trach with an even smaller one with the possibility of getting it out entirely perhaps by the end of the week!

He had some visitors this weekend too. In addition to his faithful Charlotte regulars, including his good friends, my aunt & uncle, & of course Eli, he also had a couple more Raleigh friends come down for the weekend. Leah also spent a good deal of time with him, just hanging out with her brother & getting my parents to take a much needed break.

Leah was so impressed with his recovery, mostly with his attitude. When they ask him to do an exercise, he nods his head, & asks how many reps. He fights through the pain written silently across his face. All the while, he continues to express concern for friends & family, saying that he just wants to help other people. To hear his selfless perspective while he endures learning how to do things we all take for granted & that he could do even a month ago in addition to all that pain, is such a blessing from God. More often than not, when I hear beautiful outcomes, such as the one I believe we are witnessing in Brian, & from tragedies like his, I find the Lord to be the cornerstone of almost every single one of them.

Leah also said that he loves having each & everyone of you visit. In fact, at one point, he even told Leah since no one else was visiting him, he was just going to go to sleep! Almost immediately following, his good friend & his friend's girlfriend, who have be such constants at his side since this whole ordeal started 12.14 walked into the room & Brian changed his mind. Now how's that for timing?

God continues to show that He is such a powerful God that He is able to work Goodness even through circumstances like these. Our wonderful, wonderful church—Calvary Chapel Cary—one of the Calvary Chapels nationwide who base Sunday meetings on worship & study of the Bible precept upon precept, line upon line (Isaiah 28:10), is wrapping up a detailed study of Galatians. Galatians was written by Paul in response to false teachers trying to pull churches in the region away from the message of God's gift of Grace into a message based more on following rules. One of the points Pastor Rodney explained from Galatians 6:1-10 is how Christians, knowing His Grace, are called to bare the burdens of fellow believers & to do good to ALL, especially other Christians in need.

I have noticed a growing & quite diverse following of this blog. There are some of you concerned for Brian & wanting to know how he's doing that stop here frequently (some who appreciate my Christ-driven perspective & some who just tolerate it, I'm sure ;) & then there are some that have been brought here not so much for a relationship with Brian but as source of encouragement in dealing with their own life sufferings. It is so wonderful to see that God already is using Brian's situation to minister to others in need.

One of the families falling into the category of both those concerned for our family & experiencing serious trials of their own, is the family of a former colleague of my father's & his daughter, who I hung out with many years ago. Jennifer's nine year old daughter & this well-respected coworker of my father's granddaughter, Savannah, has been in the hospital since around Christmas I think, with rare, serious, and life threatening complications of celiac disease. Her family has been close to losing her at least twice now & the doctors still can't pinpoint what exactly it is that is causing Savannah to stay so sick, speculating possible mitochondrial disease. Jennifer has been keeping a blog on her daily status, http://jenn-savannah.blogspot.com/.

Jennifer sent me a picture of Savannah today & I can't tell you what a beautiful little girl she is. I can't even comprehend what Jennifer & her family must be going through, especially because I know that Jennifer's constant vigil at Savannah's bedside takes her away from her other two children. To see suffering in children so young especially, I imagine there aren't words to adequately describe how much more it hurts.

In the spirit of bearing each other's burdens & in respect of Brian's expression of a desire to help others already, I want to ask you to consider this family in your daily prayers. We will just continue to be faithful & hold fast that God will provide & take care of Savannah & her family in the way He knows is best, even when we simply cannot understand.

Inspiration & Encouragement

2009-01-09T16:27:00.000-08:00

"I have wasted too much time in life doing stupid & trivial things, I want this to be a life changing event for the better."
Brian Keeter, 01.09.09, day #2 in Rehabilitation

(Well, that & request to his mom for Cheerwine--seriously.)

If we didn't believe already that Brian was chosen to be spared by & for the Glory of God:
the progress he's making, the ways he's already blessing others, & how others are blessing him & his family are all proof that we know we serve a kind & loving God!

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose, Romans 8:28.

Brian's physical strength: The rehab doctors already acknowledge he comes into this process with strong upper body strength & were quite impressed, for example, with how well he did today doing weighted arm exercises (pull downs of 25 lbs. with each arm) from his chair. Remember, this is after almost three weeks in bed, with too many bones broken in his back & chest to count, & a titanium rod in his spine, just to name a few battle wounds.

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to [those who have] no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew [their] strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint, Isaiah 40:28-40:31.

Brian's mental strength: Though he still comes in & out of the fog often, he's more & more lucid everyday. Not only, but he's having some very reflective responses when dealing with the specifics of his adjusting to the loss of his legs. His first comments are often thoughts of concern for some of his family & friends--implying worry about how their lives will be impacted with his disability or just a general concern for their well being too.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power & of love & of a sound mind 2Timothy 1:7.

His dad broke the news about the paralysis when Brian asked him quite directly the day before he moved into rehab, "What's the plan?" while motioning towards his legs.

His dad explained what he knew:
Through the kindness of God, his life had been spared. There would be & already was good from this. He assured Brian he would be as strong as ever in his upper body & a quality life awaited him.
He then told him what he didn't know:
We don't know to what extent you legs will work again. But we do believe that your legs will improve over time from what they are now. No one can predict to what extent.
He then explained his bottom line:
Just trust in God & work hard.

(My dad so missed his calling as a football coach...says his son-in-law, my husband.)

My dad also requested I re-post visiting hours:
M-F 4-9
Sat-Sun 12-9

Brian had some visitors stop by yesterday evening & today. The visitor I told you all about the other day, the one God pressed upon me to call (Yes, I know it sounds freaky but once you really listen to the Holy Spirit, there are a lot of things you feel led to do & not do, though I always seem to stupidly do the ones even when told not to do them too.) that I found online, stopped by to see my brother today.

Byron, it turns out, works for Joni & Friends in Charlotte. I won't go into too much detail, you should check them out, but it was started by Joni Tada, who was made a quadriplegic in a car accident over 40 years ago. They are dedicated to "communicating the Gospel & equipping Christ-honoring churches worldwide to evangelize & discipline people affected by disabilities." Byron brought a lot of materials for Brian to help him adjust, shared his own personal story of overcoming adversity & defying the odds to have more use of his body than originally diagnosed, & plans to go back & visit again.

More people making the drive from Raleigh & the surrounding area also came by. I know a few others, including his sister Leah, have headed down there this weekend also. Many thanks to all of you for your continued support!

For those of you unable to visit, you may send cards to the following address:
Brian Keeter, patient
Carolinas Rehabilitation
1100 Blythe Blvd
Charlotte, NC 28203

My dad also investigated the internet connectivity issue & learned that sometime next week Brian should have access to email (they'll set up his laptop in his room) & his cell phone. Just don't expect to text with him as liberally as you may have before--he's got a lot of work to do!

Though he's only starting to grasp what lies ahead & I know this next year will be filled with innumerable ups & downs, I have to share some more of my personal testimony. God has been so faithful in answering our prayers to give Brian strength, peace, comfort, & hope. I know the Holy Spirit is moving in Brian's life & I hope you all will see this, & seek Him too. It's all you have to do to start.

But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find [Him] if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul, Deuteronomy 4:29.

God has so freely offered Brian two very special gifts. Without a doubt, it is by God's mercy that Brian's life was spared. His life was spared to allow him to be saved by receiving God's grace through his son Jesus Christ.

Finally, I came across this scripture as I read the Bible last week before going to sleep. It spoke to me so deeply for Brian's situation & to hear his outlook today, (I know there will be ups & downs, who doesn't have them in life even without a life changing event such as this one? Though conquering those by our faith in God are what it's all about.), it's just another confirmation that God is at work in his life & in all of our lives as they cross paths in concern for him right now:

For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come, 1 Timothy 4:8.

I know! There is something in the Bible about everything--who knew!?!

Don't get me wrong, Brian will have to work hard to get the quality life we know he can. However, just as God brought him even this opportunity, God will provide Brian all things he needs to get through this process & to this new life.

Starting Rehab...

2009-01-07T18:15:00.000-08:00

Brian currently is wrapping up his first full day in rehab!

They "wheeled" him through the tunnel yesterday evening & after another restless night, they put him right to work this morning.

He got to shave himself (which couldn't have been any worse than the job Dad did on him in ICU--no offense, Dad) & even comb his hair. I guess the side part is no longer. Wonder if he'll let Brian T. give him a haircut? It's no Mitchell's look but, hey, it's in the budget.

Though I've yet to visit the rehab hospital myself, I hear it is the building next to the hospital. They keep him pretty busy during the weekdays, about six hours of therapy during the week & two on Saturday. I'm told that though he has constant visitors (aka, my parents), he'd love to see some with less gray hair & those who are a lot more fun (Did that get the point across you wanted, Dad? About how you count but not really? Of course, I'm jesting about the not counting part--we all know the constant dedication & commitment my dad shows to his son & his recovery. But the cooler visitors--on that one, I'm totally serious.). Brian's pretty tired & still coming out of the cobwebs from the trauma (I remember one of the first nurses changing one of his IVs the first night he was in ICU called it "milk of amnesia"), but once he gets his bearings, he enjoys the company.

The visitors schedule:
M-F 4-9 pm
Sat-Sun 12-9 pm

He had a good friend come from Raleigh to see him yesterday & another one from Charlotte stopped by last night. Eliana continues to be so amazingly supportive & always seems to get the Brian we know & love to come out for a little bit. We love you & thank you, Eli!

Today he spent a good amount of time rolling himself around in a monster truck wheelchair. He hasn't gotten the sleek model yet, as this one allows him to recline if he gets dizzy, but my dad said he did well, more out of a desire to get out of his room than anything. He did send some people & other wheelchairs scrambling on some of those tight turns down the hall. Rookie. Guess he'll work on those again tomorrow. I'm just impressed he had the strength to do it after all the time he's been stuck in bed.

He's not much for eating, who would be with all he's been through, but of course it's important that he does. Well, bring in Mom. She got him to eat a dinner of phenom proportions compared to earlier today. Apparently the trick, in addition to being the Mom she is, is to give him one bite that's really equivalent to, say, 12.

On a more serious note, we still don't know where Brian will end up in terms of the final outcome. Again I just have to share how much murkier of a process this is than I would have ever imagined. He has a lot of therapists working with him--not just for the trauma to his legs. It's almost like a reset button has been hit & he's lost some time that they have to help him regain & readjust to--some of those more day-to-day sorta things. This apparently is pretty normal for what all he's been through & even just getting up & moving in a routine seems to take care of a lot of it already.

I got to speak to him on the phone today to tell him that he's got a niece coming in June. He said he was glad to hear that Faye (It is another small miracle that we're having a girl as my husband & just don't agree on boy names & we've got enough to focus on right now without wasting time on that discussion!) was healthy, especially because we had a major health scare with our son when I was 20 weeks pregnant that probably laid the foundation for my faith in Jesus Christ that continues to help me make sense of all this too. Another story for another post, perhaps.

Anyway, I have to say that, though he's got a lot of work ahead of him, he continues to defy odds with how rapidly he progresses--which is a good thing because insurance companies these days sure don't like you to stay put in the treatment you need for very long! Though, again, something for another post, perhaps.

I made contact with the Spinal Cord Injury Support Group point person today in Raleigh to start looking at where we go from here in terms of resources & how to get him some emotional support from people who've been there & she was great. Apparently, Raleigh has great support group, so I'll definitely be at their 1st meeting with 100 questions later this month. My parents also learned of the Charlotte chapter. Ironically enough, these are the only two areas in the entire state with this resource (When I say ironically, I really mean continued blessings from God, for those of you haven't caught onto the subtle spiritual undertones of this blog--forgive me, I'm feeling punchy tonight ;). The Charlotte group meets next weekend so my parents are excited about that. As Suzanne in Raleigh told me this evening, there is no manual for this stuff--though Jamie said & I agree that we're going to write one with Brian when this is all said & done.

An even more immediate blessing is this wonderful man who used to run a support group in Charlotte that I called today as well. Though his group no longer meets, he wasted no time contacting my parents & will be going to see Brian on Friday. He was injured 20 years ago at the age of 14 & even invited my parents to see the custom built home he & his wife live in now. I know my parents are so excited for Brian to meet him & to meet him themselves as well.

I just can't help but think about how what all of us are experiencing with Brian in this crisis envelops completely what Christ came to teach. One of those many times someone was testing Him to see if He was who He said He was:

Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments [is]: 'Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This [is] the first commandment. And the second, like [it, is] this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these (Mark 12:29-12:31)."

How?
First, we give such glory to God for his merciful sparing & healing of Brian.
Second, we say a prayer of thanks for you all everyday. We continue to be so touched by all this love & support for Brian & our family, especially when we all know that the journey is just beginning.

At this point, I have to say, it's like the actual accident itself was the easy part but I have to find such comfort in all the Goodness that has come out of something so seemingly horrific thus far...

Getting Out but Feeling Broken

2009-01-05T15:27:00.000-08:00

Such great news I was waiting to share but I just can't wait any longer...

Brian's been deemed medically ready for rehab! We learned that over the weekend but weren't sure if there was space, so I was waiting to be sure before I shared the news.

God provided an immediate room for Brian & he'll move to the rehab center as soon as the insurance does the prototypical approval of the treatment. I would expect that to mean he could be out of there as soon as this evening but no later than mid-week. Once he's set up, I'll let you all know where would be the best place to send him personal well wishes & cards.

My dad took the night shift last night & Brian actually seems to be dropping some of the out of character nocturnal fondness he'd recently developed in favor of getting some sleep (Though, I don't know, his girlfriend is from Columbia & seems to have brought some of that out of him. ;). My dad said he did really well considering all the fluid he continues to rid from his lungs through a painful, frequent cough. That's what typically what wakes him up.

He had some more visitors today--my aunt, uncle, & cousin have been helping my parents with taking part in the 24/7 shifts now, in addition to everything else they continue to provide for our family. Even family of friends from Raleigh drove up to help today too.

He's still eating okay & they had him sit up for awhile again today but he's really not digging it. He doesn't say much & when he does it's evident that he's starting to become aware of the severity of the situation & loss of his legs, though he doesn't want to be. He's pretty frustrated & standoffish right now. What compounds the situation is the fact that all of this is manifest in the shock involved in recovering from such a level of trauma & the fog from all the whack medications they give him for pain & agitation.

It's hard. In my stupid little head I had it be so much more black & white. He'd be in ICU, he'd snap to, & they'd move him to rehab. It's so much grayer than that. He's becoming aware of things but he's still too medicated to know what he's thinking & he's not really into talking much at all. How do you support someone in this situation??

Jamie's post on 1/1 is a good one to look back to for guidance but it's still hard. I don't know how to best support him really other than to do it. I know many of you are getting back into the swing of things following holiday time off but if you can find time to come out & support Brian, now's the time to do it. Please don't take the disclaimer about how he's feeling to mean the contrary. My dad pointed out that so many of Brian's friends say that some of his greatest qualities are his ability to listen & convey ongoing support (Interestingly enough, nothing that has anything to do with his also amazing physical abilities). Now is the time that he could use the same from all of us.

I can also say, knowing one day that Brian will read this, that his recovery isn't just for him. It's for so many others. He's touched so many lives & God is giving him this opportunity to touch so many more & show His Goodness & His Glory. Statistics obviously mean nothing in his situation, leading one to conclude that any comfort or answers found in them are false.

We have to continue to have faith that God will continue to provide defiance of the odds for Brian. We also have to continue to praise Him, taking comfort in all He continues to provide for Brian & for us as a family as we try to adjust. Every step of the way God has been faithful, has blessed him with better than expected outcomes, & given us more support than we'd ever have dreamed. We have to take comfort in Our Savior because He shows us that statistics aren't where the true answers lie.

Myra & I visited Horizon Christian Fellowship in Charlotte yesterday & the message was so personally touching. Pastor Terry told of the story so many of us have heard in Mark 6:30 where Jesus makes five loaves (of barely bread that only poor people would eat) & two fish (the sardine, salted kind again that only poor people ate) into enough food to feed 5,000, maybe even more. What have never occurred until I heard his teaching was how the people were fed. Jesus didn't give them the broken food, He gave it to the disciples to give the hungry & tired followers. The broken food is more than symbolic of His sacrifice for us, it's also symbolic of how when we've been broken, He can work through us to share His Love with others that much more. We have to see the Glory through Brian's current feelings of brokenness & the potential he has to reach out & touch others that much more in his recovery.

Please continue to let Brian know how much he's reaching out to you, how much his feeling broken is inspiring you to believe in him & the God who heals him.

Get Me Out

2009-01-03T18:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Brian's sister Myra & I headed to Charlotte as his sister Leah headed home. Switch shifts, I guess. The staff like for family to be present 24/7 at this point in the process to ensure the patients receive adequate care.

We know how tired our parents are (though they don't like to admit it) & are trying to let them let us give them a break. Thanks to all of you who continue to visit & who offer to help with the 24/7 schedule.

Leah spent most of the day with him yesterday & though I haven't yet spoken directly with her, the nurse assistant said Brian gave her a rough (but loving, of course) time. I've even heard rumors he had her in a headlock!

Myra & I got to the hospital that night & Myra spent the night with him. Nights are his most restless hours but he did well for his little sister.

I had the wonderful opportunity to spend the day with him. My husband stayed home with my son (the longest we've ever been apart, my 17 month old & me!) so I could spend a good deal of time with Brian this weekend.

I couldn't have asked for anything more from Brian today. He's getting better & better at leaving on the trach plug. Apparently, a lot of times it takes patients awhile to get used to it because plugging the trach slightly makes them feel anxious in their breathing. With the plug in, this means he can talk. So, talk we did. We,ll for Brian. Many of you who know Brian know he can be of few words (I mean, he did grow up with three sisters). So, I consider it huge progress to do what we did. We made some phone calls to Mom & Dad, Eliana, & Owen, telling them hello, bye, & even threw in some "I love yous" (VERY huge from him!). This of course, is between his regular requests for "help" & "get me out."

He's constantly looking for someone to jailbreak him from the hospital. When he realized Myra was no worthwhile accomplice in this mission last night, he gave up & moved onto me. Once he figured out I wasn't there to do anything other than make him stay awake so he'd actually sleep at night (honest doctor orders), he fell asleep & wouldn't wake up (Cold washcloths were of no assistance--not even the guy who came in & cleaned the floor with the industrial cleaning machine was waking him up.). When he figured out his friends that came by today really didn't have the car ready & waiting, he told us as the nurse walked out of the room--"I'm going with that girl."

Between the medications, we get a glimpse more & more of our Brian. He shot Myra last night (at her insistence) with the Nerf dart gun Leah gave him. He got so annoyed with the nurse & me this evening, he kept pulling the sheet up over his head.

On the flip side, he cooperated quite nicely & ate three wonderful meals (Though I got his back--those apples, half those eggs, & that banana cake looked absolutely horrid--no way was I making him eat that stuff.). We were able to leave his hands unrestrained ALL DAY & he didn't pull out a single thing! Even the nurses commented on how well he was doing today, even just compared to yesterday. He even was drinking on his own & making less of a mess than I did trying to help him!

Don't tell Owen but Brian was much easier to look after--there was a lot less crying & he's not nearly as messy!

His tiny room (& is it tiny) was filled with more kind gifts since I saw him last--cards, angel ornaments, clothing, an ipod speaker dock (which came in handy playing full blast recordings of Owen, one strategy in the Must Keep Brian Awake arsenal today), Gatorade, & more.

The doctors had nothing but positives to say. His heart looks good, he's eating well, he's really getting strong at clearing out his lungs, the trach plug isn't bothering him, & more. They anticipate another move down, up, however you see it, in this long process in the near future.

One final note--I just spoke to Myra, who is taking the evening shift before Eliana comes with dinner & a movie, & the conversations she's having with him now are smoking what he had with me even 12 hours ago. They've been talking about what to watch on TV, how much his back hurts, & that he's hoping he'll find out he has another nephew when I go to the doctor on Wednesday...

It never hurts to say it again, so I will:
God is being so faithful to Brian through our faithfulness in Him!

We continue getting answers to so many burning questions that always point back to the miracle He gave us in keeping Brian alive & giving Him this chance to redefine himself & make such an ever greater positive impact on those around Him.

I love how Pastor Rodney so succinctly explained the relevance of the story of Paul & the "thorn in the flesh," (a "thorn" that literally translates to a tent stake) in 2 Corinthians Chapter 12:

God ALWAYS answers prayer. He says yes, no, or wait. When He says wait, He wants you to keep asking, which in turn draws you that much closer to Him.

So keep drawing closer to God!

A New Year's Message from My Friend Jamie

2009-01-01T17:24:00.000-08:00

(The following is a guest post timely with the New Year. The post below this one also is new today & gives you the update on Brian's move into a different, less traumatic, I guess you'd say, level of the trauma-icu floor today.)

To the friends & family of Brian...Happy New Year!

I am Kara's new friend, Jamie, & the sister of her (Kara interjects: absolutely wonderful) employer...that's how we met. My sister asked me to connect with Kara when Brian first got in the wreck because she knew that my being a nurse, medical social worker, administrator--plus--having had a catastrophic illness four years ago that caused me to have to retire & live temporarily in a nursing home at 50 years old (K: Which I understand took a lot of self-advocacy & work to get released from)--might make me somewhat (K: more than somewhat) of a resource for the family during this traumatic new experience. And so, for the past couple of weeks Kara & I have been passing resource information & suggestions back & forth. Most all of what I know I learned from being a patient and not from years of college, a wall of degrees or licenses & 30 years of experience working in the field.

Last night was New Years Eve & I thought about my experience & Brian's future. I wanted to be able to tell all of you some things that would make it easier for him & maybe even for yourselves as you struggle to make sense of what happened & how to best support him:

Today we set up our 2009 calendar, most of you probably did the same. I am going to suggest that you take out your 2009 calendar & choose one or two days each month (for the whole entire year) & on those dates write "GO VISIT BRIAN." I say this because in the beginning I had tons of visitors, but they slowed down & eventually some people stopped coming over all together. For those people who truly can't visit or who just want to do something else in addition to, write "SEND BRIAN A CARD" at least once each month for the whole 2009...& then DO IT!!!

Another thing to think about in a couple of months is finding things you can do with Brian while you're visiting. At our house we make pinatas for charities to sell (K: Well, I don't know about pinatas, but I do know Brian has always flitted with the idea of being a Big Brother, maybe something with that...it's a start ;). We also weave newspapers into mats for the local no-kill animal shelter. Why am I telling you this? It is VITALLY IMPORTANT that people in Brian's long road to recovery are also on the GIVING end of charity. So much gets given to us that we become lopsided. It's important that once Brian works through grieving the loss of his old life he finds worth & possibilities in his new one (K: I think even making sure he knows what a blessing he has been & continues to be in your life right now is a great start!).

It's hard when life changes completely & everything you knew & did just suddenly is totally different. Some days it's really difficult to find the meaning & feel any connection with others.

Brian's situation is a little different than mine...he's younger & once we learn the extent of paralysis & he gets some rehab he will have all sorts of future possibilities... heck, he'll even likely be able to go back to college free...that opens endless potential. But first he'll have a long road of therapy, learning his new way of life, & how to make things work. It will be easier if friends & family stick by for him. Don't expect him to begin making motivational speeches in February...he might still be angry yet then. It will take some time. It always seems hard to watch families & friends want to rush us, with the best of intentions, through the grieving processes--even knowing every stage is necessary to get to the other side & resolve in an emotionally healthy manner (K: So many of you have been so good on this touchy subject already, thank you.).

Well, that's enough of my philosophy on the subject.

In summary:

Take care of yourselves.
Make a visiting shift schedule for the hospital.
Mark your calendar for future visits so that you commit to staying consistent.
Be consistent in telephone calls & cards.
Help Brian find meaningful activity where he GIVES to others at some point.Read up on grief & accept his reactions as they happen.

I hope you have a wonderful new year. Thanks for letting me into your lives.

Jamie

Moving Day

2009-01-01T16:49:00.001-08:00

Brian officially relocated. He's still in trauma icu but he's been demoted, promoted, I don't know how you look at it--either way--the medical team feel he's a lot stronger & in a lot less need of immediate care. They placed him a room right across from the nurse's station & are still monitoring much of his vitals.

I know the visiting hours are different in this part of the still 11th floor but I don't know to what extent. I do know the staff continue to be generous & flexible with Brian & visitors so the move should not impact visitor allowances at all. I also think my parents are forcing themselves to take these other visitor time for breaks. I have only an idea of how hard this is for them both as I miss being with Brian constantly as my brother & I can only imagine what I'd do if he were my son. I almost think it is harder to relinquish some responsibility & control than to try & maintain it. This is where I have to thank God that He's in control & once you truly come to know that His will is for an ultimate (& oft unseen to us because it's beyond here) good, you can receive some much needed freedom in that trust & realization.

He had some New Years Eve & New Years Day visitors...his super supportive Charlotte friends brought him a cheeseburger last night & I hear he had a lovely lunch of pasta & green beans with Eliana today, though the tea & apple juice weren't quite as tasty. She said she kept trying to make him eat more to the point he kept pulling his blanket over his head & hiding. It's so great to hear that he's eating pretty well & showing some personality. A friend Eli brought from Durham today even got one of B's killer fake smiles.

A couple of other friends also made the drive from Raleigh to see him for a little while today. It is so encouraging to see that Brian's support continues to grow the further along he comes, he's going to need it. We continue to get such outpourings of help, we know we are all going to need it.

His heartbeat still looks good, which they were pleased to see, as some ongoing irregularities can be expected. He's still on a lot of medicine for the pain & still spending a lot of time sleeping.

My mom said they've finished the book of John & moved onto Matthew. Matthew was the tax collector who Jesus asked to follow him, tax collectors often skimmed off the pot for themselves & were pretty much despised by the general population as much as prostitutes. People thought Jesus was nuts for hanging out with people like this but that's what so great about Him--He didn't care. He just wanted to make life better for anyone willing to ask for it.

Anyway, Brian pretty much sleeps peacefully when she reads, given the agitation we've witnessed up until this point, that's a good thing! He still passes time trying to get at the tubes but apparently they are letting him spend a little less time restrained. He's also still trying to talk but it seems it might still just be a little too early.

I've got a great guest post I'm going to put up here shortly. It's quite timely given some folk's propensity to making resolutions right now, though admittedly, I'm just not one of those resolutions people...

Sprite Wins!

2008-12-31T10:48:00.000-08:00

Just got off the phone with my dad:

Swallow test--passed!
No more feeding tube!
First liquid nourishment of choice: Sprite.

Oh, & I almost forgot--he got the neck brace off too!

The doctors indicate that unless we hit any unexpected bumps, Brian will be moved down to the regular care (10th) floor in "the next couple of days."

Can you believe it!?!? Sixteen days in ICU & he's healed so much that he's ready for the regular floor. Some of the nurses were predicting he'd be in there for a month or more but then again some seeing the shape he was in when he arrived December 14th thought he might not be alive either.

My dad also said he had a weightlifter/bodybuilder of a nurse last night, familiar with our little magician's reputation, who tied him down & told him to try & even get out of that one. Ten minutes later...the nurse is at the sink & hears "tap, tap..." Brian's holding the gloves up in his hand.

Oh, and did I mention that he also pulled the new trach out entirely (before he'd just been popping the tube in & out) last night? And, yes, the staff have decided once again, well, maybe he's trying to tell us he doesn't need this thing...for now.

He seems in better spirits at least for today & I think my dad is actually being convinced that he's seeing enough progress to take a break from his 24 hour vigilance...besides, I tried to tell him, you gotta go away sometime if you ever want Brian to miss you.

I also couldn't help but notice that he's officially hit 100 followers on the blog & I know there are so many more checking in on him too. Thank you for your concern, encouragement, & answered prayers!

Praise God for His Love & Faithfulness! He's given Brian natural gifts to pull through this situation & building those gifts into so many more:

Many, O LORD my God, [are] Your wonderful works [Which] You have done; And Your thoughts toward us Cannot be recounted to You in order; [If] I would declare and speak [of them], They are more than can be numbered (Psalm 40:5).

I absolutely CANNOT wait to see Brian this weekend (& from what I'm told he might actually miss me too [that's there just to remind him when he reads this blog & he wants me to leave him alone, that at one point in all of this he actually missed me & I'm not going anywhere, Bible verses & all]!!! :)

That Much Closer

2008-12-30T16:21:00.000-08:00

Not too much to report today.

Same fatigued, loopy drugged, & sorta angry Brian as yesterday. Not that we all don't understand, at least as best we can, given his situation.

From a few very brief conversations with Leah & my mom today, I understand they started the swallow test & will do a follow-up tomorrow. I guess that will tell us what level of liquid nourishment he can sustain, which hopefully means no more feeding tube! Once the right people can catch him in the right state of mind, they can do a few neck commands with him to make sure he's not experiencing any neck pain & perhaps remove the neck brace. This ought to take one less discomfort off his load, as the neck brace sorta pushes your neck up--all the time.

Houdini was apparently at work again last night, very restless, & pulling at things. He did get at his chest tube but only disconnected it, rather than pull it out, thank God. They also replaced his current trach with a smaller one. This ought to show you how loopy he is right now--he pulled it out but also replaced it on his own today?!? They do have him back on the ventilator for short periods of time just to allow him some rest. Even breathing on his own, with the state of his lungs, is so, so fatiguing.

My dad continued the paperwork process to begin to acquire financial assistance & has a good grasp on things in that department for Brian now too.

I just want to thank you all again on behalf of Brian & my family. Your prayers, encouragement to remain faithful, & your own trust in the Lord that he'll continue to deliver Brian are exactly what we need.

This isn't easy for anyone, of course. Again, a personal testimony. I have to say that the more I ask for the Holy Spirit to guide me in trusting the Lord to care for Brian & how I can be used to that effect, the more I am shown that God is in control & providing so much to Brian & his supporters as he moves towards recovery. Yes, it sounds freaky to some of you, well a lot of you, I know, but I can't tell you the moments of peace this gentle comfort & guidance brings, particularly when you know that things are unarguably so much out of your control (John 14:16-17). I don't think I really knew this Comforter to be true until this car accident happened to my baby brother.

I also know that Brian is going to need people to be strong & true in their faith that God will turn this to good as the things here are seldom going to provide him any lasting comfort...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your love & support.

A Busy Day

2008-12-29T16:40:00.000-08:00

Today was a busy day for Brian...wait, let me back up & start with last night.
He pulled the feeding tube out, ah, yes, again.

So, like the time he popped the balloon of the trach, they are keeping him off the feeding tube for now. They increased the fluid nourishment through one of his IVs while they wait for the doctor who is qualified to perform a swallow test. The swallow test will determine if Brian is able to go off the feeding tube & begin receiving liquid nourishment. If he is unable to swallow sufficiently, they will have to find another way to keep the feeding tube in place.

With the holidays, we're sort of holding on this procedure & hopeful it will take place tomorrow morning. Who can say for sure, but we must admit that if we look at patterns, Brian seems to know when he's had enough of something to pull it out. Hopefully this will be the case with the feeding tube.

The doctors also gave him an electrical shock to basically restart his heart rate. So, his heart rate is normal for now but the benefit of this procedure often is temporary. However, they indicate this irratic heart rate is normal, particularly for patients who sustain the level of trauma to the chest that Brian has & it will not impede rehab, etc., when that time comes. They also inserted another IV to give him medicine to help control the heart rate.

The physical therapist also came by to give him a workout. She said he fared average for someone in his situation. She sat him up on the side of the bed & even that is difficult for him. He will basically have to re-learn balance due to the time he's spent in bed & the shift of his center of gravity with the (though extent still unknown) impact the spinal compression made to his legs. Up until this point, he's had spotty sessions with her, but she plans to return tomorrow.

They capped his trach today to allow him to talk since he's been wanting to so badly and guess what he said? Nothing. Well, he did finally say "mom" in response to my mom's specific requests. My parents & his sister Leah said they are sensing some pretty intense anger in him right now but this is coupled with some heavy meds & fatigue from working with the physical therapist earlier today. They can't keep it capped for long because he's still getting a lot of fluid out of his lungs but it's a start, I guess.

He still remains fiesty, the evening hours are when he gets himself in the most trouble with the tubes & such.

My dad got a great start on all of the paperwork today. The social worker & the "4th floor staff" were most helpful in getting my dad pointed in the right direction so it's encouraging to know that the resources he'll need will be available to him without much lag time.

So, when I reflect back on all of the progress he's made, even in the last 24 hours, I have to say I am amazed. Fifteen days ago, we weren't sure if he would be alive. Not only is he but he's making pretty rapid progress for someone on death's door two weeks ago. It's almost like he's been saved to be born again into a new person, one where the focus of life will have to be more than just the temporal things (John 3:1-3:10).

I pray that Brian will see this as a glorious opportunity for his own spirit, to edify all of us with whom he's fostered such strong relationships already, & to share God's love with many, many more to come.

Houdini

2008-12-28T16:42:00.000-08:00

Just spoke with my parents. Brian had an EKG & ultrasound to identify potential causes for the irregular heart rate. Both tests revealed nothing more than we already know, the fact that he has a irregular heart rate. They are going to start him on beta blockers this evening. The doctors would like to know what might be causing this; however, it is a good thing that tests have been ruling out more serious concerns. They also indicate that this is something they see in trauma patients.

Brian was a lot less agitated & fearful today. Yesterday, the only comfort he seemed to find from all the pain & madness was being held by his mom (And I know those of you who know his mom know that she's one of the best mom-type caretakers out there, awwww....Mrs. Keeter! I know that's what you are all saying right now!)

Nonetheless, he still managed to pull out three feeding tubes (as in the one feeding tube had to be reinserted four times today) & the catheter despite being tied in bed with mitts over his hands. Really. Thus, the ICU nurses have nicknamed him "Houdini."

I like to think that these things, prolonging his stay in ICU, are not in & of themselves bad. At least, for now, he's left the chest tube alone. I think his darkest hours will come when he's well enough to leave ICU but not well enough to be transferred to the rehab hospital & they'll have him on the regular care floor. As anyone with any ICU experience will tell you, ICU Nurses are honest to goodness angels & their patient load is so small (two patients per ICU Nurse) that the level of care he receives in ICU will not be even close on the regular floor. So anything that can minimize his time there may turn out to be a great blessing.

He's still breathing fine on his own & when he gets the horrible but healing cough after awhile he'll let you know that he needs the nurse to come & suction his lungs. It's such another of many painful things he's enduring right now. My mom said he's really trying to talk again today & though he can't, he's made it clear he wants out of there & he wants to go home.

His temperature also is holding steady.

The priest who worked closely with the State basketball team came by to see Brian today & though Brian was sleeping soundly when he came, he stayed awhile to talk with Brian & my parents & prayed for him. From hearing my mom's report of the decreased fear & agitation he showed today, we can have no doubts that our constant prayers on his behalf are being answered.

Eliana & my parents did give him a break this evening & let him loose, just making sure they pretty much held his hands in case he tried any funny business, I'm sure he appreciated the break.

My father has a meeting tomorrow with the trauma social worker to begin filling out the paperwork to find possible financial resources to help provide for Brian's recovery. We all know how convoluted & bureaucratic this sort of stuff can be, but if there's anybody up to the challenge of making sure Brian's needs are met in ways we can control, we all know it's Kermit.

Anyway, please keep praying for our Houdini!

Where We're at & What You Can Do

2008-12-27T10:20:00.000-08:00

So, here specifically is where we are since Christmas Eve:

Brian's nurse for the past two & next three nights is a traveling nurse with a lot of experience working with spinal cord injury patients. She noticed his agitation & decided to untie his arms to calm him down by allowing him to move around a little bit on Christmas night. This helped him a lot but as he is known to do, he ripped out another tube that night--the feeding tube. She knew this was a risk in untying him but felt it was worth it to give him some wiggle room, which we all agree was a good thing.

Anyway, that warranted a procedure to put the feeding tube back in & a chest x-ray to ensure it was properly located (they weight the bottom of it & it goes through the nose all the way down to the tip of the intestine!). The chest x-ray at that time showed that the lungs were clearer than they had been so they decided to not put him back on any antibiotics & let his body naturally fight the pneumonia. So that was obvious good news.

Yesterday, in spite of being restrained again & now with these padded mitts/boxing glove things he pulled the balloon off his trach. Yes, he did. So, instead of doing a procedure to fix it, they've left him off the ventilator to see how well he can breathe on his own. They basically just have the ventilator tube with a neck mask thing wrapped around the trach to just give him that little bit more oxygen. Again, not necessarily bad news since he's sustaining breaths on his own.

He's starting to come around more--which is a very good & a very hard thing, I think. He's a little more playful: he put his arm around one of his sisters, patted our heads, gave us fake smiles, etc. but he's also very visibly agitated & frustrated. He desperately wants out of bed, he wants to be untied, & he's sneaky. He even will pull the mitts up to his mouth to try & rip them off. He seems a little scared about where he is (Who can blame him, he's been tied in bed since December 14th?) & though we love to see he's fighting, he's really borderline on fighting being against his favor.

Today when we went to see him, they were just rolling him back into the room from a CT scan. His heart rate was very irregular last night & he wasn't responding to medication to regulate it. They found a lot of fluid in his right lung, which was surprising because the right lung is the stronger one, which they think has been interfering with what his heart needs to remain steady. They put in another chest tube & drained over a liter of fluid. The nurse explained that when someone gets brought into trauma they almost hyper-hydrate them & eventually when the body doesn't need all this fluid, has to find a way to get rid of it, which can include going into the lungs. They also have him on an IV similar to those pills you can buy that take a lot of fluid out of your body to help. Though it will take a little while to see if the chest tube solves the heart rate problem, we are hopeful that it will. However, if he pulls this tube out, the potential damage he could do to his lung may force them to reinsert the trach. Since he hasn't been on the trach for more than a couple days, this procedure will be more invasive & will require reinsertation of the throat tube while they take the trach out & replace it. So, though again, not the end of the world, something we really would hate to see him have to go through, if at all avoidable.

Which leads me to what you all can do:

Keep praying.

He's in so much pain & confusion right now: flu-like symptoms from fighting pneumonia, painful coughs producing a lot of fluid from traumatized lungs & beneath broken lungs, the stiffness that comes from almost two weeks lying in the same position in bed, being tied down unable to even scratch your nose when it itches, the fear that comes & goes while in & out of medicated states, a titanium rod recently inserted in your back, tubes in your body where they don't belong, a stomach being fed but not in a way where you feel any sense of satiation or fullness, not knowing where you are or why you there, whether or not your even safe, & not even able to ask the questions to find out the answers, just to a name of few of his circumstances. How can we even comprehend how overwhelming this can be?

We all know how physically strong & gifted Brian is. We now need him to be strengthened mentally & spiritually. Please pray specifically for this. Pray for patience & calm. Pray that he will lean on the Lord & stop fighting to allow his body to physically heal. Pray that Brian will find peace in Him & let go of the understandable fear in all the unknowns of his situation until the time comes to address them.

The nurse I mentioned earlier who is taking care of him at night was so encouraging on Christmas. She said that she's seen so many miracles in her four years of experience. Though this is her first round being assigned to Brian, she saw him when he first got the to Trauma & honestly thought he might not survive, he was in such bad shape. The doctors at that time even said he may not ever use his arms & look at him now--you can't restrain the kid enough to keep his arms down. She said miracles like these can continue to occur because families & friends maintain positive support of the patient & she was adamant that prayers are answered, that God is the one that heals. We don't know what the outcome will be or how we'll get there but we can all keep doing the things we do have control over--praying for Brian to trust in the Lord:

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold (Psalm 18:2).

We're already seeing evidence of how trusting in God brings him the much needed peace. Shortly following the chest tube procedure today, Brian T. read John 17 & Brian's very jumpy heart rate & movements immediately calmed. Between these readings, prayers (he nods yes every time you ask to pray over him (& we get nods no, so...) & immediately relaxes) & Eli--he seems to get the peace he desperately needs!

It really shows us how much we do not have control over; however, this is not a bad thing because we serve a kind & loving God who wants us to have a relationship with Him & to trust him. So, please keep praying--strengthening your relationship with Our God & praying that Brian's will be strengthened as well!

Said No Better

2008-12-26T13:55:00.000-08:00

A conversation this afternoon with Brian's 16 month old nephew...

Owen: "Mama?"
Owen's father: "She went to see Uncle Brian."
Owen: "Uncle."
Owen's father: "Yes, Owen."
Owen: "Bwwian?"
Owen's father: "Mmm hmmm."
Owen: "Bump bump..........saaaaad."

Guest Post from Brian's Dad, Kermit

2008-12-26T11:03:00.000-08:00

My dad asked me to cut & paste the following as he wanted to share his perspective on dealing with this experience with Brian:

I wish to share a little about what has been the most moving Christmas that my family has ever had. With all of the secular distractions out of the way, our focus this Christmas was consistently a spiritual one. We gathered at my sister's house and again in the ICU hospital room united in our thankfulness to have our son, brother, uncle, nephew, and boyfriend alive and with us. The spectrum of our spiritual diversity (Good News Christian with a Mormon foundation, Latino Catholic, and Jewish) was much. We all gathered as children of God, united in our love for God, family, and prayers for Brian. Without a doubt, our Latino-Hanukah-Christmas was the most moving and inspirational event in my nearly 63 years of life. Brian's Mom, girlfriend, sisters, aunt and his special Colombian Mama are providing soothing and reassuring love as is his many special ICU nurses.

I never had or never will know the answers to all the "whys". As I try to find the answers to such complexities, my head spins; frustrations and confusion mount. In my deepest troubled moments, I looked up from closed eyes to see posted in small print a sign on a distant wall. Miserable I was drifting from fear to anger to depression. I forced my self to rise and walk to the small posted sign. It read:

GOD is good. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not upon your own understanding.

I then realized that this tragedy had taken so much from me and my family. Was I to let it take away my faith in GOD, my joy found in the true meaning of Christmas, my love and concern for family and others, and a simple and humble desire to do good to and for others?

Tragedy has taken enough. With the help of GOD and His good works through you and so many others, the resolution to see this through for my son, my family, and for the love for humanity is now strong. I just want to do good for I know that my GOD and HIS SON are good.

God bless you all.

Christmas Hope

2008-12-25T21:13:00.000-08:00

Not much to report--rough early morning resulting in another procedure to clear lungs. When we saw him he was pretty tired though resting peacefully. We did get a few eye openings & that’s been about the case the remainder of the day.

Again, I have to say that they are taking such wonderful care of him. Everyone at the hospital has been great to him & working hard to address our concerns too. One nurse in particular has really befriended Brian. She said she really likes working with him--he's fun & she enjoys the playful sarcasm. It is amazing how much Brian can communicate (when he's able & he wants to) simply with those eyes. The nurse that came on tonight & will be with him the next four days honestly was a Christmas gift, especially for my dad.

They have been giving him a spectrum of antibiotics for pneumonia & decided today to hold off on all of them to pinpoint a possible bacterium that might be hindering a move past pneumonia. They'll figure this out by most likely doing another lung clearing tomorrow & comparing what they find. The good news is that his right lung is looking pretty good & his white blood cell count is good.

I really feel like these "little" things that keep prolonging his stay in ICU are meant to prepare us all, including him, for the long road ahead. This is basically the way it will be for the next few months, quite possibly even more: A few minor steps of progress & then some frustrating setbacks or plateaus.

We had a wonderful Christmas dinner tonight, painstakingly & graciously prepared by my aunt. She & my uncle are taking such good care of all of us! Eli & her family also joined us. I think I’ve said it before but it merits saying again—she & her family bring such an air of uncomplicated love; a calm sense of genuine care wherever they go. They are absolutely wonderful people & we were so glad to have them join us. Wait till Brian finds out about the Christmas dinner he missed! And she did look quite cute in her dress… ;)

It would be amiss to not take this opportunity to share a testimony with you all. Going through this with Brian & knowing more about the road to recovery right now than he does really, really hurts. How do you get through a situation like this without hope & trust in a loving God? I just don’t think you can. There’s either hope or hopelessness. It’s a choice. We choose hope. Here’s why:

We know that God is good & we are provided for when we believe in Him.
Oh, taste and see that the LORD [is] good; Blessed [is] the man [who] trusts in Him (Psalm 34:8)!

Because He is good, we know that all He does for us is out of love.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16).

Personally, John 3:17 speaks to me even more about that love.
For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

It’s like what little I’ve learned as a parent of a 16 month old. Sometimes love for my son requires me to make choices that are hard but that I know are necessary for him to learn & develop. If I give him what he wants when he wants it—what sort of life am I setting him up for?

Since God is good & He works in love through sending His Son, I believe in His Son.

As I believe in His Son, I learn that He provides all that I need.
And Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst (John 6:35).

I mean, He was born in a feeding trough for goodness sake. The imagery doesn’t get any more literal than that.

And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn (Luke 2:7).

These life provisions include Hope.

Behold, the eye of the LORD [is] on those who fear Him, On those who hope in His mercy, To deliver their soul from death, And to keep them alive in famine. Our soul waits for the LORD; He [is] our help and our shield. For our heart shall rejoice in Him, Because we have trusted in His holy name. Let Your mercy, O LORD, be upon us, Just as we hope in You (Psalm 33:18-22).

It can be hard to trust in a God we can’t see but evidence of His goodness is everywhere.

Right now, in addition to the work He’s doing in Brian’s life, tangible proof of His existence, His goodness, & His love also comes in the impact he’s made on so many of you & the outpouring of all of your love, support, & prayers for us.

You all.
Your love, compassion, prayers, support, & willingness to believe for the sake of my brother is more proof that there is Hope.

[Let] love [be] without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. [Be] kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality (Romans 12:9-13).

So there you have it, I have hope in Brian's situation & God gives us reassurance when we seek Him fully.
And you will seek Me and find [Me], when you search for Me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13).

We thank you all so much for the Merry Christmas-es you've shared!

Keeter Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T18:04:00.000-08:00

Brian is doing so well! He's still on a lot of pain meds & the like but he's really starting to come to ever so slightly. It's so nice to see him without that tube down his throat & he's doing well breathing without too much assistance from the ventilator. He opened his eyes a few good times & seemed to communicate a special personal message with each of us tonight. Man, I love that kid.

He pulled the chest tube out yet again today but they don't think it's a problem this time as his body seems to have moved beyond needing it. Maybe he'll get a discount on the bill to take it out? ;)

Thankfully, the CT scan to check his abdomen & pelvis came back fine.

The physical therapist came by just to do a little stretching with him since he's pretty stove up from being in that bed for so many days. This allows him to be unrestrained--his wrists are tied down tightly to keep him from pulling out all the tubes. He was a little annoyed at first but warmed up to her & even did some of the arm movements in his own direction with her, when he wasn't annoyed & trying to sleep. Well, he started heading towards his face like he had a scratch & so she let him have the freedom to itch. FAKE OUT! He totally started grabbing at his neck brace, trying to get it off, little trickster.

God is taking such good care of him: His fever's going down & so is his heart rate. He was pretty hot last night & today so the nurse is trying to keep him cool with cool compresses & she even taped a small fan to the corner of his bed. Apparently, he gets hot, agitated, & that's when he starts pulling at things. He did it with me today with some tubes & just like the neck brace incident you have to talk him out of pulling things--he's still that physically strong!

Myra brought some more (yes, more--you people have no idea what Keeter Christmas is like) decorations to his room--ornaments for his tree, pictures of Rocco in a Santa hat, window decals, & a nativity scene along with some small goodies she did to share in thanks with ICU staff & other families spending the holidays in the hospital. So, some of this Christmas stuff may annoy Brian but the staff sure like it!

Traditional Christmas Eve dinner was a bit nontraditional. Brian's good friend kindly gave us access to her place which is minutes from the hospital so we had a leisurely meal of Harris Teeter bbq, mac & cheese, potatoes, & asparagus (slim pickings 30 minutes before closing) between the evening & night visiting hours. You know what? It wasn't that bad either. Her neighbor even brought us just baked cookies when she found out we were there--& she doesn't even know us!

What this Christmas Eve did was take away all that great but superfluous stuff & really make the meaning hit home. Christmas for us this year is being thankful for a Savior, who has graciously spared my brother to allow us to be together another year as a family, & the outpouring of love, support, prayers, gifts, & the numerous other blessings from you all.

I subscribe to this great, short daily devotional that really touched me today on the Eve of Christmas & I wanted to share...The Steadfast Faith of Joseph & Mary

If a kind & loving God can ask so much of the parents of Our Savior, we can all keep praying & trusting in God to take care of Brian's needs too...

Trach is in

2008-12-23T16:33:00.000-08:00

Just spoke with my mom. The trach is in successfully & they also took the opportunity to manually clear out some more of the fluid in his lungs. He was sedated for these procedures & so they don't expect much response out of him the remainder of the day. In spite of that, my mom said he did open his eyes for a little while!

Don't know if any of you saw previous comments from our good friend, a liver transplant coordinator & former ICU nurse, but she really helps us lay-folk understand the benefits of this procedure. It moves Brian closer to being able to communicate & off of so many sedatives since the tube he'd want to rip out of his throat (& did when he was in the hospital for life-threatening epiglottitis at the age of 3, really) has been taken out for him. It also helps build back up the lung muscles to help him breathe on his own, something a ventilator didn't. It also makes him able to move a bit more since with time he'll spend less time hooked up to a machine.

The CT scan was not until late this afternoon so my parents are still awaiting the results on that but all in all he's hanging in there well.

We're almost ready for Keeter Christmas...though my parents have like seven or eight live trees in & around their house (really), Brian's holding steady with two (assuming no one removed the beautiful white one he got early last week, yes that was a threat) in his room. He's also got a snowman & a great gift of a digital picture frame playing 1,000s of pictures of his most adorable (& only, at least for now, we'll know if he's got another or a 1st niece on the way in early January) nephew.

Just wait till that kid wakes up. I hope TNT has their A Christmas Story marathon running on Thursday. That, with some horribly out of tune Christmas carols from his sister, Myra, ought to make the holidays complete. I can see those eyebrows now... ;)

Status Check Day

2008-12-23T09:41:00.000-08:00

Hi all. Thank you again for your support. I have to say again that when the time comes, this blog will be a great journal for Brian to see how far he's come & how much he & his family are loved. Your encouraging posts &, as always, generous gifts in so many ways are such a support for us--both immediately & for him in the future. When my parents hear from how far & wide reaching these expressions of love travel, they are constantly amazed.

Just spoke with my dad...they've yet to do the tracheotomy but are thinking there is a less invasive procedure they can do with the same results later today, just making for that much less of a delay in getting him on the road to recovery.

CT scan also scheduled this afternoon to double check the swelling in abdomen the first surgery addressed (namely making sure the pancreas is still intact), take a look at the pelvis, & just find out how much fluid persists in the lungs.

He's much less agitated today & my dad reports he's picked up on the Bible reading where Brian T. & I left off...can't help but think the two are related. ;)

Will let you all know the results of things once I know. My parents aren't getting as much one-on-one time with the doctors as they would like (Who would with their son in trauma icu, I guess?) but again I take that as a sign that the team is more comfortable with where Brian is at than they have been up to this point.

Thank you again for your prayers & encouragement--I'm getting a dose of what it feels like for a lot of you too--I had to come back to Raleigh on Sunday to take care of my family--it's so hard to be away from him! We'll be heading back down there tomorrow morning with his baby sisters, who have proven themselves anything but baby sisters as they have so strongly stepped up to handle a lot of responsibilities here while my parents are away.

Thank goodness he's in God's loving hands & I'd say Eliana's visits (& many others of you too) don't hurt either. ;)

Pressing Forward

2008-12-22T17:45:00.001-08:00

Just spoke with my dad. Though the breathing tube remains in, Brian "pulled breaths" today without its assistance! It wore him slam out & they'll have him back on it this evening but they really want to move forward with the tracheotomy tomorrow. They believe having a tube directly in the throat will help expedite the daunting rehab process. The benefits of the tube include more rapid progress towards communication (& no, he won't sound like that guy from that ridiculous South Park cartoon), more rapid progress towards mobility, & less obstruction towards helping the lungs clear out the fluid that continues to build as a result to the trauma to the lungs & that stupid pneumonia. The fact that Brian is successfully able to breathe, even if for a short time, in spite of how busted his lungs are simply amazes me. The options available, in US medicine particularly, for facilitating recovery once again just simply amaze me.

They also met with one of the rehab doctors, William Scelza, today & were encouraged by his demeanor & personal testimony to what's possible for Brian. However, he didn't mince words, Brian's got a long, rough road ahead. Though as "Brian T." posted, the fact he's in the position to even take on the challenge is encouraging in & of itself.

Admittedly, a lot of us have been struggling with the current situation. We seemed to be moving along so smoothly, given the circumstances, & now we've hit this awful lull. My dad was encouraged today by remembering that God is good. Many of you were answers to one of my desperate prayers for encouragement with your comments from my post this morning. Thank you, God is using you to be instruments of His Word & His goodness.

Another few passages come to mind pulling from what my dad said & from the encouragement provided to me this morning:

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us (Romans 8:30)?
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword (Romans 8:35)?
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height or depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:37-8:39).

With that said, my dad purchased his much missed Christmas trees (well, artificial 3' ones), lifted them up over his head, & committed to celebrating God's goodness & Christmas this year.

You all know about that "Keeter Christmas," don't you...

One Inch Either Way

2008-12-22T17:08:00.000-08:00

This is Brian Webb, Kara’s husband and Brian’s brother-in-law (they call me Brian T. for obvious reasons). I have a quick report. On Saturday, I went with Brian’s dad and uncle to recover Brian’s personal items from the wrecked car. This isn’t intended to be a morbid or sensational post; rather, I want to express to you the gravity of the miracle that Brian is even alive at all.

Out of the 100 or so cars on the wreck lot, Brian’s car is hands down the most wrecked (the tow truck guy driving us to it agreed). Out of all the places that Brian could have hit that pole, he hit square on his driver-side door. Out of all the places that Brian could have been positioned, where he must have been was the only one where he could have lived.

The car is “squeezed” lengthwise, with the hood and the truck buckled upward about 30 degrees. His door has a semicircle dent in it the size of half of a 50 gallon drum (door is displaced about 18 inches into him). The steering wheel is buckled so far down it was pushing his seat down 6 inches, just to the right of where he was. Brian must have been completely sandwiched between the door and the steering wheel. One inch either way and we’d have a very different outcome.

It was a very shaking experience for us, but the more I looked at it, the more powerful and calming impression I had that we got to keep Brian. Praise God! We got to keep him!

Ankle Surgery Postponed

2008-12-22T05:36:00.000-08:00

After speaking again with the trauma team late last night, they have decided to postpone today's ankle surgery due to the fragile state of Brian's lungs.

The pneumonia continues to put a lot of stress of his breathing & though a fever of less than 101.5 is a sign of healing, Brian's continues to run around or above this due to the energy it takes to fight the pneumonia & the fact that energy is taken away from the general healing process. For those new to the blog, Brian's left lung was collapsed & the right was almost the same. There's been a lot of fluid build up to be drained, the pneumonia only adding more.

Again, we're sort of in a holding pattern right now, praying for patience & trust in the recovery process. We know he's in good hands & staff are keeping a close eye on things but I'm not going to lie--if only this stupid pneumonia would get out of the way!

I'm told he slept okay last night but did show some agitation...

Once again, where this means he'll end up with regard to the other injuries, namely the stress put on his spinal cord where his back was broken & the titanium rod inserted to decompress the spine, will have to wait until the more immediate concern of the lungs are stronger.

Will keep you posted & appreciate so much the outpouring of love & assistance across the country on his behalf.

Hanging in There...

2008-12-21T15:09:00.000-08:00

Brian continues to hang in there, showing his strength & commitment to recovering. This morning the nurses told us that he's been sleeping well without the need for as many sedatives. We also happened to be there when they changed his breathing tube, the nurse who did it was great, but it is such an uncomfortable process. It was a small thing to watch that gave huge witness to Brian's ability to work through the situation. He was calm & relaxed with evident resistance & determination not to fight it.

He's continuing to be responsive to certain stories in his Brian Keeter way with those eyebrows & openings of the "Keeter eyes," but he's definitely tired. There's a short little book I love, Harvest, filled with stories of men facing tragedies, both as a result of their own vices or of being left to cope with devastating events, who found the Lord & their lives were transformed. One particular pastor in the book, Raul Ries, has an intense story definitely worth checking out (this is the one I told him a little about that really raised those eyebrows). I know that God is at work in a transformation of magnitudes for Brian & many of those around him as well.

The healing he is working on takes a substantial amount of energy & the "pizza in a can" the nurses give him through the feeding tube is only meant to sustain the average calorie load. Imagine the savor that first meal will have when he's finally able to eat his real first meal--I wonder what he'll want it to be, steak or Columbian home-cooking? ;)

He continues to find relaxation in quiet visits, particularly with his girlfriend & when being read to from the Bible. We're on John 11 last I checked. The monitors show a visible decrease in his heart rate & blood pressure most during these times. So feel free to pick up where we left off if you stop by!

They anticipate taking him into surgery tomorrow morning for his ankle, the surgeon was in the OR all day today so my parents are unsure if they will be able to meet with him before the procedure. Though initially they hoped for more stability before addressing the break, the orthopedic surgeon got clearance to move forward. They also continue to monitor his lungs & the drainage of fluid from his abdomen, speculating they may need to go back in an investigate the abdomen & perhaps perform a tracheotomy. We'll know more next week.

Visitors remain welcome though, again, the sessions must remain small & low-key. With these ongoing expected unexpected setbacks, we can never guarantee when he'll be able to have visitors and when not but at this point we'll leave it up to your personal discretion & schedule especially with Christmas this week, as the nurses have been feeling comfortable with the way it has been going the past few days. We know no matter when you come (& there will be so many times the next few months when your presence will be needed) that you continue praying and thinking of him & his family.

Again, we are so thankful for God's work through you all in the small (& some times HUGE miracles, church prayer lists, church leader visits; the generous contributions in so many needed ways are indescribably appreciated.

My father's helping us all remember our new mantra:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, & lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, & He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

We have so much to be thankful for as a family this Christmas!

That Annoying, Yet Vital, Breathing Machine

2008-12-20T15:36:00.000-08:00

Is apparently here to stay. Grrrr...

I just spoke with my dad & he said that Brian had another one of those expected unexpected set backs again this evening.

The nurse this morning told us that as Brian becomes more aware of the situation--the tubes, the pain, etc., the agitation will increase. This was the case this afternoon as he went into a sort of hypervenilation, which was compounded by some build up from the pnuemonia. They had to clear his lungs & though the ultimate goal remains to wean him off the ventilator (He was getting so close again today!), he's back on it once again.

My dad just wanted potential visitors know once again that we so greatly appreciate your love for Brian; however, the nurses want us to keep it light with the visitors again this week...small numbers, no questions, minimal talking, etc. He constantly stresses he wants people to understand we are only saying to wait & not be discouraged from continuing to support Brian in the long run. Of course, I see the blog so I know that all of you are still out there praying for him & only want what's in his best interest for recovery. ;)

I will continue to keep everyone posted on his progress. I simply see this as God's way of ensuring that Brian gets the physical, mental, & spiritual rest, strength, & focus on the Lord that he needs in order to be fully ready to start the work ahead of him. Time alone now with Him will only make the inevitable distractions & discouragements of the world that much weaker.

Please feel free to continue posting...one those tough rehab days where Brian has time alone, reading this blog to help him learn how far he has come, how many lives he has touched, & will only undoubtedly serve to inspire him to keep on working...

Unchaperoned

2008-12-20T04:12:00.001-08:00

Brian continues to show strength & progress towards recovery.

Last night, though again, we had to take it easy on him & spent most of the time quietly reading to him, & holding his hand, & stroking his hair, he's really starting to show some Brian-specific responsiveness.

His girlfriend came with the latest addition of ESPN magazine to catch Brian up on some missed highlights.

I thought I'd share the conversation we had with him shortly after she arrived:

Me: Brian?
B: Raises eyebrows...
M: Eliana's here.
B: Squeezes our hands...
M: Do you hear her?
B: Slightly nods yes...
M: Would you like us to leave you alone with her for awhile?
B: Vigorous nod yes...
Dad: Is it okay if I stay?
B: Vigorous nod no...

So, we left them in peace. ;)